Friday, October 28, 2011

lunch today

At lunch today there was a woman sitting at a table inside the cafe when we arrived. During our meal, I noticed she had moved outside.

We were talking loud as usual (we work for a sexual and reproductive health organisation; all our lunches at the food-court near work are like this.) Today, however, we were in situ in Maling Road; a domain where different sensibilities are apparent?

I did wonder whether it was anything we said which made her move. Her face was still red when we passed her table outside. I wonder which of the following it was, that came out of her or my mouth during our meal:

- I do prefer a circumcised penis

- I told her to tell him he's a 'cunt tease'

- if I had [name of Year 9 student we believe is dealing drugs at prestigious school]'s number I'd call and get something, does he sell eccies?

- I've had brazilians, but it's a bit grey down there now. I'm looking for pubic hair dye

- the full '70s bush, alright! Fabulous!

- I told him just to go to a prostitute

- I always had his dick in my mouth

- the sex was amazing

- he's good at going down on me

- maybe I need to try some woman love... I could probably go there, but I really like a dick I think

- she's got kissing ahead of her. I loved kissing. Notice how I use the past-tense. Sad.

- I told him just to have sex with me when I'm asleep even. I don't care. Or just a quickie.

- we didn't have sex the entire time we were away

- a 14-year-old boy going for a massage? Bullshit, handjobs!

- I'm not the affair kind of person. I couldn't do that.

When I wondered to my friend if we'd scared the woman away she said: we weren't that loud.

The problem is, we are. We're desensitised and out there and I apologise to the Balwyn mum who happened upon us two in public.


Alex said...

Even if you did drive her away, it might not have been the nature of the conversation. I suppose I can only speak for myself, but in that situation, it's always the volume and never the discussion that makes me move. Whether it's the most expletive filled tirade or the most inoffensive, hum-drum conversation makes no difference. Once the volume reaches a certain level, I'll start looking for an escape. I suppose that's tied to why I hate it so much when people play music on trains

That said, some of that stuff does seem kind of odd-ball when you lay it out with absolutely no context like that. Like this: I told him just to have sex with me when I'm asleep even. I don't care. This was said in jest, right? I've gotta ask, because a few years ago I was at a party and this young sheila was telling me in good humour about how she got really drunk and embarrassed her partner in front of his work colleagues, so he took her home and fucked her in the arse while she was passed out as a way to "even the score". It made me think, "Wow, that sounds like you're openly condoning and making a joke out of rape; how lovely".

Now, if that had been me, there would've been blood. Am I just being prudish/closed-minded/old-fashioned? Is this sort of thing just normal(ish) now?

Melbourne Girl said...

No, it wasn't said in jest Alex but I can't comment on whether this is normal. Your story is horrible and the context where my quotation came from was entirely different to that.

I think the statement was made as a form of giving consent on the part of the person who would be asleep. It couldn't have been an invitation to rape and it wouldn't have been an invitation to be used in a painful or violent way. Consent has been given prior.

You're not prudish, I also would be horrified. I wonder if that girl was still with the guy. He sounds like a bastard.

Alex said...

She was with him at the party but I don't know for how long afterwards. I doubt I'll ever run into them again. I don't know if "bastard" quite did him justice. He was one of those blokes who always found a way to steer the conversation onto how successful and impressive he was and how much better his house/car/boat/whatever was than everyone else's. You know the type.

But back to what you were saying, the whole idea of having a "help yourself" policy still seems very alien to me.

Melbourne Girl said...

Some people find it arousing, the idea of being woken from sleep in that way. But only in a trusting relationship I guess. Each to their own, which is why the world is filled with fetishes and bents of all different types.