Hello

So, today I am preparing for tomorrow. Not working today. I woke up with a ratshit headache. Lay there wondering if it was lack of coffee? (no shouldn't be, but Clokes made it really weak yesterday), period? (possibly, I'm due for a bleed, but I'm no headacher. I give 'em, don't get 'em), stress? (don't think so, not much stress in my life at the mo. Which is good. Touch wood, be grateful, the buddha says the only thing that is permanent in life is impermanence.)

Is it because I didn't drink over the weekend and haven't since sometime last week? I don't think so. But how about that people? After I got my rant on I decided it was time to dry out for a bit. Almost wavered Saturday night but Clokes reminded me of what I'd said, for him not to bring wine near me.

I had ground to a little bit of a halt with my own writing. Annoying, at 65k words to start having thoughts like "I don't think this is any good" and "what's my fucking point?" I think my problem is too many ideas, then I get immobilised or go around in circles a little bit. Anyway, I've pushed through and am back on track. Have to pitch it to the class on the weekend.

I have taken 2 Nurofen Plus, eaten a slice of toast and am feeling better. I have to take the Gigi out for a run, move the car out of the clearway and get to the chemist before picking up the Princess at dance. I also have to cook tea because Motherrrrr (Norman Bates voice there) is coming over tonight.

I've noticed that my relationship with my mother is strained the last few years. I feel like I'm not the daughter she would like to have, and any time I'm critical of my sister, I am just proving the point. My sister is kinder than me, though she would probably argue that she is not kind (but compared to me, she might grudgingly accept it.)

The thing is, young people, (and I noticed a new person reading, a 15-year-old-babe, makes me think I need to be motherly, teacherly and responsible. Does your mother know what you are reading online?), you don't ever really Grow Up. Of course, as you get older you DO grown-up things, but inside, you are still just a snotty kid. Of course, there might be real adults out there, who are as they look. But I don't feel like one of them, which is very disconcerting because I look old.

Managed another blogger eyeball last week, with the divine Miss Magical_M. I have "known" her ever since I first started blogging. She was living in Sydney then, but now is living in Melbourne. We went and had coffees and toast at Orange in Chapelli St Windsor, and we just went blah blah blah non-stop. We didn't even really talk about blogging. Next time!

Back to my comment about preparing tomorrow. It's my first teaching session with the new job and I will have to do the following:

- say "pre-cum" and possibly "head job" when talking to front of Year 10 studentos in front of my boss
- wrangle a dildo and put a condom on it correctly
- make the students practise in small groups and make sure they don't nick any of the condominiums
- try to scare the boys, telling them that an unplanned pregnancy at the age of 17 or so with someone you may not even like and just drunk-fucked would have a big impact on their lives too, especially if the girl chooses to keep the baby, there's nothing they can do other than fork over 17% of their wage. Once they're earning, until the baby turns 18.
- possibly talk about sexual arousal if it's appropriate
- talk about consent
- talk about the laws and sexual activity
- talk about different types of contraception
- talk about safer sex, and prevention of STIs.

Fuck there is so much I have to cover in 50 minutes I'm scared, but I'll have a powerpoint thingo to give me the structure.

Wish me luck!