So the doctor said the scan said mum's cancer is gone.
How about that?
We are, of course, thrilled. But mum is trying also to be buddhist about it, that is not get attached to things too much in life, and that includes being cancer free.
I guess our approach this time around was one of oh fuck oh well let's just push on then, but without the soul searching and angst of before.
The good thing too is that she only had a little bit compared to ten years ago, so the little bit would go quicker than a big bit. That's my highly medicalised theory anyway.
Other good things that are happening:
- tomorrow night I'm going to see Animal Kingdom with my sis.
- I am well and truly on the way back from my illness. All it took, my friends, were the right antibiotics and over two weeks of house/bed rest. And much much reading.
- I have introduced Princess now to the pleasure that is The OC.
- the sun is out
- I took the Gigi for a walk yesterday. I am establishing a new regime of health, partly because I don't want to just feel worse and worse every year and end up a complete haggy invalid in a decade, and partly because we are going to Turkey in September, and I will be wearing bathers and jumping off the side of boats etc. I need to impress the moustaches.
- Booked the tickets the other day. Mum is coming with me and Princess. Three other friends are staying with us down south. It is going to be fucking awesome.
- My leave is approved, my new contract is signed so I have another year at my job confirmed. Yay me.
- tonight I will do a test run of cheese souffles for our Tour meal next Saturday night. Not sure about main yet. Maybe just something really simple, like chicken chausseur or a casserole. I can't be rooted going all out. Was considering the Frenchified version of beef Wellington but seriously can't be arsed. That dish is like a once-in-five-years dish. Maybe.
- I am re-reading A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers. Last time I got up to p214 (the page is still folded. Do you fold or use bookmarks?) Not sure why I stalled but I'm giving it another go. I am not reading well at the moment, unable to sleep, I have insomnia (last night couldn't get to sleep, sat at the computer until 6am then crawled back in, slept until 11.45am. There's something wrong with me? I'm turning back into a teenager/angst-ridden post adolescent.)
Things that are not so great:
- see above. Insomnia.
- my writing. No energy for it. Maybe I just need a little break. Have been going at it solidly and madly for well over a year. I have several "new" projects; they need to compete and jostle with each other to win my attention. But leaving it up to them to do so is at the moment a little fruitless.
- my mind is on my mortgage, which with the renos has climbed up. And I need to pay my mum back some money, and my dad. I have never worried about money before and now I am trying to be responsible and grown up, I don't like the way it makes me feel. Easier to just be in denial?
- Ali (ex husband) is wanting to organise some things when we are there. One of these things is trying to solve his tax problem which has been dogging him for years. One of the solutions I believe involves a property settlement with me, where things are transferred into my name, to be held for Princess? I don't know it all makes my head hurt and I hope I don't get caught up in it. I will have to be strong and tell him I can't sign stuff without a lawyer here looking over stuff. I know he'll huff and puff and say don't you trust me?
Short answer - no.
Long answer - mostly.
- I've told you about Princess and some of her peers at school being from the dark side (or children of them that hail from the dark side.) Seriously, one of her facebook friends has another facebook friend with a high-profile surname and public photos including a dinner at a swank restaurant with the high-profile person in attendance. Think one of two surviving. Surname ends in G. Don't mention here, I'm scared. So then there's the child of the non-surviving person (surname ends in M) and she is Queen Bee and hogs all the boys and is really mean and powerful and everyone sucks up to her and Princess has said things like People say her family are in U****belly and I know they are/were but I don't want her to know. I did tell her if it was true that the kids need their privacy and it's not their fault they have criminal families. Princess also said Some dude got killed last year, and x's grandmother is in jail. I already knew this and had to use my poker face. A bit of ferreting around on the Internet last night and I found out that Child X's new stepdad is connected (was arrested) with a certain stupid footballer's stupid brother who is in the news, like, now.
My concern is that the power and status of these people (which emanates from money, connections, veiled threats which I have heard were made at another private school, Don't you know who my family is? sort of thing, but not from this particular Child X) is affecting the tone of Princess's year level. I want them to leave but I also sort of feel sorry for them.
This is weighing on my mind quite a lot, but I'll leave it there.
So as you can see, a real mix of good and bad, as always.
5 comments:
I'm glad that you are feeling better - insomnia might be a post-viral issue?
As for the dodgy connections at school, I think you are within your rights to express your concern to the school's Principal. The problem is, saying anything to Princess about them could backfire badly because if she's anything like most kids, she'd just go to school and repeat it, which could make things worse. As long as she isn't hanging out with the girl, doing anything at all might be counterproductive. But of course you know all this.
You could always move Princess to a different school, which sounds drastic, but not if you are losing sleep over it.
Also, I must be clueless, I can't work out what families you are talking about. Unless you got your ends with and starts with mixed up. Only watched series one of that show though, so who knows. :)
PS. I don't trust your ex, either. :) But then, every woman I know was screwed in her divorce settlement. :(
Nah I screwed him in the divorce settlement (or held my own) don't worry about that, but that was here. I'm not interested in his money, it's me helping him out with tax issues. And I don't want to get inadvertantly, or advertantly, fucked.
Wow I can't be clearer with the mob refs - but if you watched the first season, then you know them. They are the ones.
I wouldn't move her, love the school, and so far it's just another case of Queen Bee - the hierarchy is in place at every school - and there's nothing tangible for me to complain about to anyone. Just my poor readers here.
Fantastic news about your mum. I always worry what's going on when you go quiet on the blog. Glad it was "only" you being sick :) (if you know what I mean).
The u****belly stuff is difficult to fathom. We have a low level thug in our neighbourhood, offsider to one of the high profile ones that keeps getting off murder charges. The little bully boy makes his neighbours lives hell. Lots of threats, property boundaries moved without consent and a heap of other stuff. (Fortunately as I live in a different street I miss this but my pal the dog walker always dishes up a fresh batch of gossip about him each week). The cops won't do anything til they have something BIG and airtight to send him down. All pumped up on roids he gets bigger in his bullying. It's not a nice state of affairs in an otherwise lovely suburb. And his kids? Everyone knows that dad is having affairs and mum is very sad and everytime she leaves him he "persuades" her to come back. What chance do the little ones have growing up in this kind of environment?
That's great news about your mum Melba and glad you're feeling better. Sounds like you got a bit burnt out, what with all the stuff going on, mortgage, peers from the darkside and all that. It's a lot for one person so be kind to yourself - the holiday will be really good for you.
Hugs.
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