Quick update

About to go out for dinner with my writing group and we have two new members which is a bit exciting.

BUT in the meantime, here are some stats:

1. [removed material] which means people won't be able to follow the comments. Oh well.

2. Just worked out how to look at my WOS stats. There has been a mighty upward swing in page views:

2012
March - 1693
April - 1531
May - 1597
June - 1215
July - 1412
Aug - 1854
Sept - 2799
Oct - 5444
Nov - 5443
Dec - 6842

2013
Jan - 7342
Feb - 10,582

Hmmm.

3. I now have a daughter who has her Learner's Permit. So we are going to start driving on the weekend. This isn't really a stat. Oh well.

A productive day away from the Web

You know why it's called The Web. Because it's sticky and you can't help going there. All good little flies, comme moi, et peut-etre, comme toi*, manage to get entangled and spend about 80% of the daily work hours buzzing around, doing the Internet ablutions, over and over, before settling down like a bee (I know, I'm changing my metaphor). We settle on our flower, no matter what type, and do our business. But soon, we are aloft and flying, scanning again.

It's fucking annoying and pathetic and such a time-waster.

What I want to know is: What did people use to procrastinate before the Internet? Suggestions welcome.

So today, I went to my mamas. She was out. She doesn't have wifi. I still had Internet on my phone but I muted it - it usually is - and got down to it, man.

I worked solidly from 10am - 3pm. I raided mum's fridge at about 11.37am (don't you love that 'about' slipped in there?) and had left-overs and two large glasses of Buddha's tears tea. I did the following writerly tasks:

1. cleaned out all my superfluous folders to do with my next writing thing. I had duplications, I had irrelevant notes, I had lists and shit all over the place. My desktop is already a brothel, with damp towels lying everywhere and used condoms under the bed, and DD bras just HANGING OFF THE BACKS OF CHAIRS LIKE IN THE MOVIES. So you techie types will be pleased to know that my folder for Thing Two was cleaned up like the backyard after rain. Slashing and burning and whippersnippering all over the place. Filling my 'trash can' and emptying the fucker. So now all that is relevant to Thing 2 is IN THE ONE PLACE. This is quite a major achievement pour moi.

2. I went through my hand-written notes for Thing 3 (which after going through Thing 2, a far more advanced Thing, I realised Thing 3 might become Thing 2 chronologically. It's a much easier thing.)
I transcribed some text and notes for this project and became very excited about it all over again. This is something I haven't looked at for months because I've been focused elsewhere but it's a Thing that has come very easily and fluently and is quite the contemporary Thing (compared to the others, which in my mind - again, that cavernous, dark space - I conceptualise as more saga-ish) which I'm quite pleased with.

So, enough about me. What do you think about me?****

* Wondering why I'm using Franch***? I've had one wine.
** I lie, it's two.
*** Does anyone know to which movie character this refers? (In my own mind, quite possibly.)
**** Bonus point for person who picks this movie character.

There are only a few Leunigs that I recall with complete vividness. I have the original clipped but am happy to find it online.

(c) 1995, Michael Leunig 
Published at the time of the Demidenko/Darville literary scandal.

 

 

Getting the stench out of my nostrils

This is the most gorgeous feel-good material I've seen in a while. It reduced me to full tears, Not semi-, or demi- but the Full Denko (I wonder if anyone will get that reference. It's an oldie but a goodie. I'm leaving it as a weekend puzzle).

We all need to know what makes our Scared feel scared.

I usually don't 'do' politics [any more] but...

this article is the second in this week's mind-blowing series. While I've managed to ignite the amazement of bobby-pin wearing females with one revelation, let's unite in despair over the other embedded article within this article, which states that:

- drones are worse than measles
- 'extra-legal murder' exists as a term
- the allurism (?) of anti-American sentiment is behind anyone having a reaction to anything bad they do

The whole drone thing has gone over my head (!) because I haven't bothered informing myself about it. I probably won't read much more because it will make my head explode and today, that's not what I'm after. I'm after equilibrium and smoothness.

Hope everyone has a smooth day and even smoother weekend.

Doing it wrong my whole life

The ridgy side is MEANT TO GO AGAINST THE HEAD.

This is seriously the most mind-blowing moment I think I've ever experienced. I just can't believe it. I'm sure everyone has been doing it wrong.

What I am sick of and what I want more of

Sick of:

- cats (on twitter, everywhere). Really they're okay but they're not that good
- people talking about the Superbowel and Beyonce, though it is getting less. I wrote Superbowel on purpose
- people talking about the Baftas/Emmys/Golden Globes/Oscars
- Chrissie Swan and the smoking thing
- sprays about sexism
- celebrity chefs and their food
- people who are defined by their children and just want to bleat about it all the time, everywhere
- any and all comments on any and all article on The Age online
- The Age online  
- people and their Apple products
- people and their cheap alcohol, wanting me to drink it and not turn my nose up
- people who don't take out the recycling even when it's piled up so high in the kitchen it slides off onto the floor
- likewise people who don't seem to notice that walking on our carpet will mean you get strands of hair (yes, mine ok) kind of wrapped around your toes and that THIS means it's time to vacuum    


More of:
- photos of Brooklyn and New York in snow
- articles on the illuminati and Hollywood (just read a very interesting piece in The Paris Review on Stanley Kubrick's 'murder' four days after he delivered the final edits of Eyes Wide Shut to the something-or-rather). You can read it here.
- soba noodles
- sunny weather with a cool breeze but not too cool
- helvetica-type fonts
- GIRLS episodes
- Game of Thrones
- Chardonnay
- Vodka
- smoked salmon
- whole rainbow trout cooked in the oven with slices of lemon in the cavity and butter and diced garlic rubbed into the slashes you've made on one side of the skin with a sharp knife, probably the one you use for fruit is best
 

Okay, next thing on the technological list

Other people's blogs, the comments are tagged with a proper time and date stamp. Mine just have the time, it would be nice to have the year as well.

Suggestions anyone?

Blog update

I have just worked out how to get my 'older posts' button at the bottom of the page, had to insert some code but SOMEHOW in the process, I've managed to make everything centrally justified.

I can't stand it. I'm sure my labels down the RHS were left justified. Am I going crazy?

I think part of the problem is I'm still using the 'classic template' cause I was too chicken to do the changeover to the new way. That's me in a nutshell, too scared of the New Way.

If any bright sparks can help me I'd appreciate it (Alex, we both know that's you.) It's not crucial and maybe it will just go back to normal tomorrow, because I know these things we call machines are actually alive and have their own fucking wills.

Don't get me wrong. I am very happy about the 'older posts' button. It was gone for yonks.

Goodnight.

All is well

Hello. I thought while we waited for more news I would talk about television.

We started watching MasterChef Professionals and really, after the first episode I only watched for Clokes. He likes to have something to watch with me and because we are up to date with Game of Thrones, and our other shows aren't back on yet (Australian Idol, the real Masterchef, Big Brother, I know, I know, how DÉCLASSÉ), I sat through another couple of episodes.

But enough. No more MChef Prof and probably no more Masterchef period. I think I'll give Idol a miss too as it waned for me last time (no Nut Man made it an empty viewing experience) but I will defo watch BB again. I seriously missed it when it stopped, I missed the people, especially this fucking hunk of fucking spunk (sorry):

It had been a while since I had such a crush. It wasn't romantic, not really. It was more I coveted his hair, I loved his [carefully crafted?] unselfconscious demeanour, his humour. I loved the way he said he'd always had trouble getting girls, never getting the girl he liked, how he struggled socially, yet there he was, with millions of us loving him/wanting to get into his pants/be his friend, as well as everyone on the show loving him/wanting to get into his pants/be his friend. He would parade his chubby white body around the place, wearing funny jogging shorts, no top (like evah), thick, white tennis headbands. It was a form of extremely endearing peacocking (see The Game: Neil Strauss) and there is something about a non-conventional person peacocking and either truly not giving a fuck or being very good at the appearance of not giving a fuck.

There will never be another Michael.

Princess and I have started new season of True Blood but we are both disappointed. It's been quite crushing really, so much so that we haven't really talked about it. We got about three episodes in, and I said 'I don't think I'll watch any more but you go ahead' and I think she was so disappointed that I'd bailed, but also feeling it too (or not feeling it.) So it's like something that's between us that's unspoken - eventually I guess we'll get it out, dust it off and talk about it. We finished new season of Dexter and again, while we finished it, every episode she was saying 'It's not the same, he's not the same Dexter. He's not doing his rituals, he's not following his code. He's not doing the kill room and the photos and THEY'RE NOT NAKED ANY MORE! And he's getting involved with her. It's not right, mum!' and I'd say 'Well, it's season (7, 8 can't remember, whatever the most recent is) and they're going to finish it, I can feel it. he's the main protagonist, he has to transform and develop as a character, he HAS to. Even if he is a serial killer,' and she'd go 'I know, but I miss the old Dexter, remember the inner-voice narration he'd do? And the humour?? THERE'S NO HUMOUR ANY MORE' and I'd say 'calm down, darling. I know you're disappointed but it's just what they have to do,' and she'd say 'Well I don't like it. I'm going to watch Season 2 again. It's my favourite season' and I'd say 'okay darling, I'm going to do some work.'

Princess and I are watching GIRLS. We watched the first season over a couple of days. They're only half hour eps and you just blink and they're finished. LOVED IT. Now we get each episode per week and it's almost not worth it because you just haven't got that momentum. We love momentum, the kind that you get after three hours on our red velvet couch. It's a special type. But yeah. GIRLS is good.

So, guess what we are doing, during our GIRLS-free time, our MChef Professionals-free time.

We are watching Seinfeld. Again. From the beginning. And you know, there's nothing like it. I laugh out loud every episode, more than once. It's fucking brilliant tv and just like there'll never be another BB Michael, there'll never be another Seinfeld either, and that's fine because we've still got it and can watch whenever we like. I'll be 80 and watching Seinfeld again. From the beginning.

PS I probably should tell you, all signed up with the agent, all full steam ahead. Will bring news when I can.