Preparations

I'm reading in preparation for the trip. Re-reading John Irving books (he has Vienna in many of them; at the moment I'm reading a little-known one of his - and possibly my favourite - called The Water-Method Man. It's about a man and his relationships, and how he fucks them all up. The title refers to a urological problem he has. His urethra is a 'narrow, winding road' as described by his urologist. One of the options of management is to drink lots of water and pee after sex. Another option is to stop having sex. A third is to treat with antibiotics when the problem arises, and the fourth is to have surgery. The main character tries the water method but then, later on, when it doesn't really work, he opts for surgery.)

John Irving was the first writer I read,  in my late teens/early twenties, who I just fell in love with. It was total, absolute adoration. I think reading The World According to Garp was the first time I realised what a novel could be. It wasn't my first love. My first adult novel love was Wuthering Heights, but Garp was different. Garp was funny AND sad, and had a central character who was very human, hurtful to others, but so loveable. The other thing was Irving's secondary and even tertiary characters: he populates his novels with people who are startlingly original and so entertaining. Much later I learned that Irving is a big Dickens fan, and this made sense to me. I haven't read more than a couple of Dickens novels, but both writers have these characters that become like people you have really known in real life.

I plan to take with me Anna Funder's Stasiland, which is non-fiction, and which will cover Budapest and Prague, and Berlin too. I'm not bothering with an in-situ London read. I think I'll be too busy, but I might take another Irving novel with me. It should really be Setting Free the Bears, his first book, which is about the liberation of all the animals in Vienna's zoo, but it's really not as enchanting as his second (Water-Method) or other early ones.

*

So, that's reading. All accommodation is booked, and train travel and so on. I fly London to Budapest to meet P, and from there we train to our other cities. It's going to be cold so we are packing all sorts of thick winter clothing, which means less room in the cases for shopping. I don't want to shop much but perhaps some boots/shoes in Vienna (we've been told about an amazing boot/shoe shop) and maybe a woollen jacket in London. I bought new runners to walk in. My feet need to be happy.

*

In London (or outside of it, in Cheltenham, near the Cotswolds) I'm staying with an OLD friend, an English woman I met here in Melbourne years ago, when we were early twenties. We met while both working at a restaurant, the Island Trader, on Warrigal Road Ashwood (or was it Burwood?) I know this place features in my Bad '80s Diaries. We had to wear sarongs and fake flower clipped into our hair. Also a lei (fake) which allowed skeezy male customers to make their skeezy jokes. I am the only person in my family who worked there (3 of us siblings) who didn't get fired. And who spent time in all the possible work roles (apart from management): waitress, bar, food prep. I'm not sure why I'm even proud of this. Anyway, I'll catch up with E, and that will be great. I'd thought about a side-trip to Haworth (Bronte country, see above) to make it even more of a literary pilgrimage, but it's pretty far and it's going to be bad cold weather. Squib went there recently and seeing her photos on facebook made me very wistful. I shall just have to make sure the next time I'm there is summer/autumn so I can do those sorts of things.

*

In Prague will be the Great Reunion with M and J. We were all learning Turkish together in Istanbul in 1994. All married to Turkish men, we bonded big time. M is from Montreal and J originally from Slovakia, but now living in Prague. I haven't seen M since I took P there when she was 3 or 4 (we did a side trip from Istanbul where we were living 1999/2000) and J I haven't seen since those times, in 1994. It will be fantastic to see them. We're planning to go to the opera here as well. I don't like opera but P does, so, you know. Self-sacrifice and all that. I can cope.

*

Berlin is the place I think I'm most excited about. I've found 'unter-welten' tours where you can go into bunkers etc. P is very interested in all the war stuff, the history, as well as art. And the food as well. We can't wait for the different local food.

*

We have two days in London before we fly back out. We plan to do a couple of galleries/museums that she won't have managed to get to in her week there before we meet up, and I won't either. And we'll have a 'nice meal' somewhere on the last night. Suggestions welcome. Even though I lived in London way back, I din't like it and didn't explore it at all. What an idiot but I suppose I had no money. Also I was only there for four months.

*

When we get back it's action stations. P will have hopefully enrolled in uni while away. She got her score on Sunday and did very very well. Her IB score translates to an ATAR of 96.35 so that's more than enough for her to get into the course she wants (Arts) at her preferred uni. So she'll be doing uni stuff, maybe moving into college, buying books etc etc.

In my first week back, I have a meeting with my publisher (I think that's the first time I've written that) - our first meeting - and she is giving me editorial notes. I have until end of March to get the ms back to her. I'm really interested to see what her suggestions are. Like really interested. I know there'll be a bit of work to do, even though the ms is in a very clean state. And then that all happens. They are saying it will be September next year. Originally it was June, but has been pushed back. I learned this is common, for things to get moved around, and it doesn't mean anything. I'm glad it's later otherwise I'd be panicking about now, would have had to get the notes by now and wouldn't be able to do anything about them but would be wanting to do something about them. I wouldn't be sleeping and as relaxed as I am now.

Last year I didn't write much in the way of new words but I do somehow have a third manuscript I need to get finished (I'm 2K away from a finished first draft. 'How can you know how  many words you have to write? How can you be so exact?' a friend asked me recently. 'Because I have set myself a challenge, to make the finished ms exactly 49,000 words. Exactly.' 'Oh,' he said.

So that'll be the next one I show to my agent. It's different to my other two and I hope she thinks it's a goer.

*

Other plans for the year involve continuing yoga, continuing walks, continuing moderate eating along with 'fast days' (they aren't really fast days, just low-cal days) in an effort to continue to manage my reflux, indigestion. Also the teaching business, which is well-booked for March and beyond, so that's great. We may get a casual teacher or two in to help out, because I'd rather teach a bit less, especially as the writing thing is happening a bit more.

It's going to be a big year (as my publisher emailed) and a good one, on lots of counts. Clokes turns 50 this year, in March, so we'll be celebrating that. His boy starts Year 11, so again, pretty busy. My mother's health continues, my health issues have settled (I put all that down to my digestive system, I'm realising it's SO important to keep it ticking over as smoothly as possible), I didn't fall into the cycle of ailments that happened this time last year.

TV to look forward to: Game of Thrones (CAN'T WAIT); GIRLS* (ditto); OITNB (though the last season didn't impress me as much I don't think. And the reason I think this is because I can't remember what happened); Orphan Black (yes, can't wait for this one either); Walking Dead (it's on a season break at the moment, I think I'm getting a little over it); more Gogglebox; True Detective second series (not sure if that's coming this year or next. Probs next.); not sure if they are doing more Sherlock Holmes, but I liked it; and the latest discovery (via P) was Shameless (the US version) - this was probably my late-2014 TV fixation. I've probably forgotten stuff.

Well this has been a bit of a spew of stuff. But I realised that this is the place I can do it. It's where I used to do it, go on and on, in diary fashion.

Do you keep a diary or spill all your 'spew stuff' to someone? How do you get it out? Do you have spew-stuff? We all do, don't we??




* This last week I watched Lena Dunham's movie called Tiny Furniture. She made is before she did GIRLS. And it's terrific. I'm so impressed with her.

I don't like the new look

I wanted to keep the old one but also wanted to install that google statistics thingy and you needed an updated blog blah blah. I can't find a template like the old one and can't even find a neutral looking one so went all dark. It's a shock every time I come here. The old one felt like home.

When I have more time maybe I'll try and see what I can do but I did spend a few hours looking before and with nothing better than this it seemed.

Nothing much else to report. Reading. Teaching. Writing. Wrangling. All as normal. Going out for dinner tonight with Clokes and another couple to Indian, so yay for that. Caught up with a friend I had lost touch with for 5 or 6 years, saw her Tuesday. Yay for that as well, happy to be back in touch. Princess finished her Maths IA, and is almost finished her History IA, Extended Essay and TOK Essay. So they will be massive things for her to cross off her (our) list.

Weather had turned chilly but it's ok. Our heating has been fixed and so we won't freeze.

And my tax return is done AND I have a big bill cause of capital gains AND Clokes asked about it (we keep our money stuff pretty separate) and when I told him how much he said it was wrong. Seems the accountants don't know it was my primary residence, it wasn't a fucking investment property. So I shouldn't have to pay so much. Seems they have fucked up. Seems I will be changing accountants (and not having to pay so much. I really hope. Let's all cross fingers together and I'll take you all out for dinner, okay?)

Other than that, well, yeah. I'm tracking with my morning constitutional powders and vitamins, and my evening ones too. Feeling I'm over the mucous, or nearly, with just a little sputum coughing in the morning. Got my energy back, mostly, although this week have been stuffed, really tired. Had two periods in a month, one after 19 days and another after 18. Great.

It's been a really long week, not least because Game of Thrones wasn't on Monday night. Bloody Memorial Day in the US.

So what's your news? What are you reading? What are you eating and drinking?

OH AND HOW IS THIS?

Bob Ellis reckons Abbott will be gone by end of next week. Party here if so.

What I'm reading, and what I'm reading next

Hey, it's Friday, and the family is all here. I went and sat with my husband and his two kids in the kitchen for about four minutes to discuss the day's activities. We have a ritual on Good Friday that includes: walking the dog off-lead at the park, having a feast-brunch, playing a board game as a family and, in the evening, watching Life of Brian. We're not having brunch, because we're doing it on Sunday instead, with my family including bro who is down from Canberra. The weather looks pretty shitty, so not sure about dog walk as we just washed her the other day. Board game: well, I don't think the 18 year old will do it, she's been not into it for a few years. But the 17 and 15 year olds will. And Life of Brian? It might just be me and my daughter and Clokes.

But sitting with 3/5 of my immediate family for four minutes was hard. They have these silly in-jokes that are exclusive and, well, silly. It's something I've noticed creeping up. It does make me feel excluded and annoyed in an adolescent way. I should be happy they are bonded and having fun, and I am. I'm also happy that I don't have to be with them, they can get on by themselves. But it's still annoying. And strange. We are a strange situation. Two families in one house. I have fantasies of leaving; going away under the guise of writing retreats and workshops in other countries, and just not fucking coming home.

But all my books are here.

*

What I'm reading. I'm back on the first book of the Game of Thrones series. I've decided I just want to read ahead. It'll take me a while to get past where the series is, and my daughter tells me that the series is not in the same order as the books. I'm also reading Story Engineering by Larry Brooks. And I started The Night Guest by Fiona McFarlane. It's on the Stella shortlist I think. Lined up I have Pnin by Nabokov, as well as his memoir Memory, Speak. Both of these have been highly recommended by people whose opinions I rate. And I'm going to re-read Love in The time of Cholera because  Gabriel Garcia Marquez has just died and I've chosen it as one of my favourite books for a short piece I was invited to write.

*

There is no publishing news, but there is some movement. I spoke with my agent on the phone earlier this week, then gave the novel to someone else to read. There's a huge story behind that, but I can't say much about it here, other than things lined up quite extraordinarily, and I am seeing this person - a published novelist, quite high-profile, established and establishment - tomorrow to discuss it. Which means she's read and has something to say. So I feel like I'm inching towards *something* but I also feel like it's all pretty impossible.

My dear, supportive, writer-friend, the other day over coffee, drew me a picture. It was something like this:

And I'm like: yeah.

What I am sick of and what I want more of

Sick of:

- cats (on twitter, everywhere). Really they're okay but they're not that good
- people talking about the Superbowel and Beyonce, though it is getting less. I wrote Superbowel on purpose
- people talking about the Baftas/Emmys/Golden Globes/Oscars
- Chrissie Swan and the smoking thing
- sprays about sexism
- celebrity chefs and their food
- people who are defined by their children and just want to bleat about it all the time, everywhere
- any and all comments on any and all article on The Age online
- The Age online  
- people and their Apple products
- people and their cheap alcohol, wanting me to drink it and not turn my nose up
- people who don't take out the recycling even when it's piled up so high in the kitchen it slides off onto the floor
- likewise people who don't seem to notice that walking on our carpet will mean you get strands of hair (yes, mine ok) kind of wrapped around your toes and that THIS means it's time to vacuum    


More of:
- photos of Brooklyn and New York in snow
- articles on the illuminati and Hollywood (just read a very interesting piece in The Paris Review on Stanley Kubrick's 'murder' four days after he delivered the final edits of Eyes Wide Shut to the something-or-rather). You can read it here.
- soba noodles
- sunny weather with a cool breeze but not too cool
- helvetica-type fonts
- GIRLS episodes
- Game of Thrones
- Chardonnay
- Vodka
- smoked salmon
- whole rainbow trout cooked in the oven with slices of lemon in the cavity and butter and diced garlic rubbed into the slashes you've made on one side of the skin with a sharp knife, probably the one you use for fruit is best
 

things to do today (inc footy)

MAKE SOME FASHION

things to do tomorrow:

1a. go to the mcg.

1. watch geelong beat collingwood, at the mcg.

2. eat a pie and chips while watching geelong beat collingwood, at the mcg.

3. drink a beer, or maybe two, while eating a pie and chips and watching geelong beat collingwood, at the mcg.

4. watch my dad cry tears of happiness, while drinking a beer, or maybe two, while eating a pie and chips and watching geelong beat collingwood, at the mcg.

5. refrain from glaring at clokes while he yells at "his" players, while watching my dad cry tears of happiness, while drinking a beer, or maybe two, while eating a pie and chips and watching geelong beat collingwood, at the mcg.

6. block out the ungenteel swearing of coll-thug-supporters, while refraining from glaring at clokes while he yells at "his" players, while watching my dad cry tears of happiness, while drinking a beer, or maybe two, while eating a pie and chips and watching geelong beat collingwood, at the mcg.

7. get a little cold, while looking at the clock, while blocking out the ungenteel swearing of coll-thug-supporters, while refraining from glaring at clokes while he yells at "his" players, while watching my dad cry tears of happiness, while drinking a beer, or maybe two, while eating a pie and chips and watching geelong beat collingwood, at the mcg.

8. feel a bit smug for being under shelter, while the rain falls on the others, while getting a little cold, while looking at the clock, while blocking out the ungenteel swearing of coll-thug-supporters, while refraining from glaring at clokes while he yells at "his" players, while watching my dad cry tears of happiness, while drinking a beer, or maybe two, while eating a pie and chips and watching geelong beat collingwood, at the mcg.

9. wonder what to have for dinner, while feeling a bit smug for being under shelter, while the rain falls on the others, while getting a little cold, while looking at the clock, while blocking out the ungenteel swearing of coll-thug-supporters, while refraining from glaring at clokes while he yells at "his" players, while watching my dad cry tears of happiness, while drinking a beer, or maybe two, while eating a pie and chips and watching geelong beat collingwood, at the mcg.

10. consider giving clokes a consolatory shag [saturday night is business time*], after wondering what to have for dinner, while feeling a bit smug for being under shelter, while the rain falls on the others, while getting a little cold, while looking at the clock, while blocking out the ungenteel swearing of coll-thug-supporters, while refraining from glaring at clokes while he yells at "his" players, while watching my dad cry tears of happiness, while drinking a beer, or maybe two, while eating a pie and chips and watching geelong beat collingwood, at the mcg.

10a. walk back to train station trying to be generous with one whole half of my fam [husband, two children] and not brag too much about geelong beating collingwood.

10b. silently and joyfully hug myself as realisation hits that this is the first time i have been to footy to geelong vs collingwood game and it's been a result to please (me).

10c. push away memory of last year's thrashing of geelong, and dragging clokes from ground before finish of game, driving to carlton with sister and bro-in-law to see some movie. also push away father's last words of "i'm going for a leak" as he left in the last quarter never to return.

10d. push away memory from year before when father karate chopped collingwood supporter in front on shoulder and told him to "sit down!" because he was remaining standing a shade too long after each of collingwood's goals.



* yeah, i know, i know. everyone has links. everyone uses links as the modern-day "hey listen to this monty python record, i'll just play you a bit, it's SO FUCKING HILARIOUS" but really, truly, do yourselves a fucking favour. this one is simply ace.

melbourne taxi drivers and other stuff

i heard on the radio this morning that a young woman had thought she was being abducted by a taxi driver as he drove her around for two hours, not following her directions.

it turned out, he couldn't understand what she was saying.

i read in the paper that a model has been arrested in indonesia with two pills wrapped in a twist of paper. she said she didn't know what they were. that someone just gave them to her.
and she kept them? and she was going to maybe take them?

i shake my head and i boil the kettle.

and when is winter going to be OVER.

ps confession - i bought andrew morton's princess diana book on special at target. i think she and jemima are sisters. or were. what do you say?

anyone got any gossip? i'm bored.

my life is measured out in bagels [apols to ts eliot]

i have been sick. it hit me like a train on Tuesday morning. i couldn't get out of bed to start with, but then HAD to so i could get PSP off to school. i couldn't even get dressed so just pulled on bad tracksuit pants, tucked my nightie inside them so it looked all bunched around the waist [did i give a fuck?] and then drove her the short distance, trying not to crash because i couldn't really open my eyes properly.

then came back and got into bed with a fresh hottie. i felt so bad i couldn't even read much. i lay there, feeling sorry for myself, pissed off that i was not able to work [the transcription machine was sitting in the other room, hunched evilly on my table, laughing at me] i wasn't hungry [this is me near-death, dear reader] and i thought back to how smug i had been just a short time before as it seemed the dreaded melbourne plague had struck down person after person, and left my little household untouched. the dark angel would wing past our sleeping house, carrying her bad germs on to others. not visiting us.

i had to mop my floors before and still i was weak. so weak. so pathetic.

usually i am so robust it probably sickens others. i am a typical saggitarian. i find it hard to be around weak and ill people [steep learning curve there in compassion 101 with my mum], i can't understand when people are not bursting with energy and joie de vivre.

but i know when i'm feeling better because then, other more normal things start to invade my mind

like bagels

across the road and down from me is a shop. a bakery. but not just any bakery. it is a place run by an israeli family, and they make the most divine PROPER bagels, as well as a bunch of other stuff. there's a whole range of pastries and biscuits - baked cheese cake, cheese blintzes, chocolate babka, special bread, [including 'challa' which i mispronounced most shamefully and most non-jewishly the first time i bought it.]

then next door they've got a little eat-in restaurant. there's tuna and egg salad, the chicken schnitzel, meat balls, soups.

i hadn't had a bagel for days, so i walked down and got two [with sesame seeds] and a cheese blintz. i had never had a cheese blintz before. it was good.

then other things started entering my mind. like, i should write a blog. why are my white hand-towels always so dirty looking, even when they've just been washed? why is my hair so bouffy? where the fuck is my fatboy slim cd? why is everything in the newspaper so depressing? what should i cook for dinner?

this is the only way i can cope with today - break everything down into tiny bits. meditate on the small stuff. everything else is too big and hurts my head.

so here i am, transcribing machine turned on and ready. here's a picture of her, isn't she cute?

















note the hello kitty headphones. the ones i got from the shop are like forceps that kill my head after about 20 seconds

a word about MY night out on friday

on friday night i went to a ball.

i had a mad morning, which included getting a wax job, the second all-off i have ever had. it wasn't as bad as the first, which was good.

then the hairdresser for some posh hair. jeff worked it good, and i exited looking very la-di-da, jumped into a taxi and went into the city.

met my man and we checked in here

he had to go back around the corner to work for a meeting.

"i'll be fine" i said, "i'll have a bath" [to wash off the little wax blobs clinging to my most
precious bits]

"and i'll see if i can get some food" i also said [hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch. it was coming up to 3pm by this stage and any hopes of a mid-pm quickie had evaporated as it would just be me for a couple more hours]

he left and i had that delicious, excited feeling you have alone in a hotel room. especially a nice one. perhaps it's not so delish when it's a seedy motel, with worn carpet, mis-matched furniture and a bullet hole in the window [like this place]

so i went downstairs feeling very grand with my coiffed hair, but looking otherwise ordinary in my normal, non-ball clothes. the concierge told me where the closest cafe was for a sandwich and coffee, and the closest bottle shop for some champagne.

back in the room i took off my jeans, and lounged on the enormous bed, ate my roast beef sandwich, drank my coffee and turned on the television.

flicked around the tv. read the hotel compendium. got out the playstation console, tried to get it working but couldn't.

then i noticed the bottom of the tv where there was promo stuff for the "adult movies"

saw that there were free previews.

pressed the buttons, and then, the room was filled with sex noises. the volume was way up on the tv. i muted it quickly, then watched all the previews while my bath ran.

then there was a knock at the door.

before you think this is going to descend into some sort of penthouse forum story, with bellboys [hardihar] and french maids [rolf rolf rolf] this is what happened:

- in a split second, a male voice said minibar
- i was frozen on the bed, and while i sat there thinking to put my jeans on really quickly, i heard the swipe card being used
- i yelled out "don't come in!"
- then a [male] voice said "sorry, we'll come back later"

minibar? i don't open my hotel door for anything less than a maxi-bar

---------------------------

after i calmed down, i had my bath, awaited my honey.

* * * * *

we got dressed and went to the ball. it was on the river at new quay? it was fun. we have been going out for 18 months but on friday night i realised i could party with him too. it was like the last little bit of the puzzle falling into place. everything else is perfect, and now i know we can sing to each other really really loudly songs like love shack and the best thing about being a woman. i know now, too, that he will tolerate me running to a dance floor with a bunch of other chicks and be one of three to start a synchronised dance of nutbush. [it was like being in a film clip, it was ace]

these are essential things if you want to be my man.

then we walked back to hotel, along the river, and if you squinted it looked like paris. it was a mild night, i wore my great-grandmother's fur stole, which matched my '50s style audrey do.

the next morning i wanted to go to the house of cashmere. well, $400+ for a scarf. i went and found a $30 "pashmere" equivalent in a lovely grey in the royal arcade.

one very happy girl.