OK funsters

I am in Orange County, at a place called Costa Mesa or Cosa Mesta, I'm not sure which, I think the former. I'm on the hotel computer paying like FOURTEEN CENTS AND MINUTE FFS so have to be quick, even though I've checked email, facebook and twitter and you, my friends, all three of you, are next on the list.

So it's Monday. The flight was pretty ok but not business class, long story, but basically every fucker in Sydney decided to fly to Los Angeles. We got in, I decided not to go on my tacky Hollywood tour. I knew I'd be so tired and not just that, but after 4.5 hours of bussing around, prolly with my head asleep against the window and dribbling onto myself, then I had to meet P's friend for a walking tour and THEN have dinner.

As it turned out, I ditched the tour, went on the crew bus to the hotel. My bag was last out of the carousel thingy, fark. At least it arrived, the boy I was sitting next to, his didn't. P and I got to the bus - a tired crew including the 4 people who flew the plane - all sitting there patiently waiting for us. I found a seat next to a girl not wearing flight attendant gear - she was a pilot. SHE WAS A PILOT and we chatted for the bus ride. It was great to ask her questions like: Did you always want to be a pilot? and How do you become a pilot? I'm serious. As we pulled away the captain looked over and asked me if my bag had turned up. It's like they all knew about me and my sitch. On the plane, as we were flying through the night and my resolve to go on the tour started to dissolve, I had flight crew coming up to me and saying things like: So I hear you're getting little lukewarm on the tour, harden up! and So you're thinking not to do the tour, I thought that was ambitious myself.

We got to the hotel, settled in and then went and picked up a hire car at the John Wayne airport. Drove into LA and parked at the Concert Hall, the place where they used to have the Oscars, the Dorothy Chandler Centre which was where P was going to the Opera. Cinderella. It was funny watching him approaching overdressed LA women to see if they were scalping tickets. One woman said: I'm selling it because I don't like an empty seat next to me. ? She went from $200 to $100 to $50 in about 60 seconds.

So he went in and Scott and I went off on our tour. We saw buildings, we walked Broadway, we went to 4 places and had wine, beer, Prosecco and then finally a margherita. Hmmmm. Then P and I got the car and drove to Hollywood Boulevard and parked about three times, jumping out to see the stars, trying to find Marily. Saw everyone but. Saw Bette Davis twice within about 20 metres. Weird. Went to Grauman's Theatre and saw the handprints in the cement. It was great, I mean really. The traffic was light so we could drive and park, there were people out and about, walking, clubs, tacky souvenir stores etc.

Then we got on the freeway and drove home and I was so tired my eyes felt like they were underwater, with that shimmery almost passing out feeling. Like when they give you a general anaesthetic. Got back to the hotel and showered and almost went to sleep on top of the covers on my back. I never go to sleep on my back.

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This morning up at 8, breakfast. Then drove to a shopping centre down towards Newport Beach, called Fashion Island. It's not an island, it's a very bland kind of sterile shopping centre. But they had a book shop and I stocked up, also got some other stuff. Then to Newport Beach, and to Balboa Island. This was trippy because it was so OC, and we had Balboa Bars and saw a frozen banana stand, not quite like the Bluth's one, and the weather was lovely. Then I drove back home, we returned the car to John Wayne airport and caught the shuttle back to our hotel. On it were two Southwest (or Northwest) pilots, can't remember but one had a leather bomber jacket and a normal tie and the other one had a FUCKING AMERICAN FLAG TIE. Anyway they were like fanboys talking to P about the A-380 and the one with the bomber jacket was saying how a Qantas pilot had shown him around one - All I wanted to see was the flight deck but he showed me everything! It's nice to see people obsessed with things.

We had a rest and then walked to a place near here called South Coast Shopping Plaza and I went mental in a place called Ross Dress for Less - designer gear and great stuff for really cheap. Then we went to an Italian restaurant and ate and drank ourselves silly - then walked home dragging these huge shopping bags.

We leave early for NYC tomorrow. I have packed all my shopping into a spare bag and will leave here. I have my business class outfit 'laid out' (oh, there are some stories about my footwear and blisters) and then tomorrow night, we will be in Brooklyn, oh yeah.

Got to go, so tired, and need sleep. Probably won't check in again until home.