Getting a little jittery here

Isn't this a beautiful picture? Looks like a painting but it's not. It's a photo (probably shopped) of a landscape in Namibia I think it was. I can't find the reference which makes me a bad blogger. Aha, here it is.


So my deadline is tomorrow. That's not the problem, revisions are done, I'm just reading through 'one last time' (fuck that makes me laugh).

And then I'll email it to the agent.

And then she'll say fantastic, it's ready to send to my shortlist of publishers OR you just need to change this and this.

And then I'll say wonderful OR sure, no problem. Doing it now.

And then I'll say can I tell people?

And she'll say sure, but you know until I hear back nothing's definite.

And I'll say of course, I understand that.

And then I will become a bit insomniacal.

And then I will draw on my amazing reserves of patience and resilience and stamina to be very still about it all.

And I will keep working on the next one; wrangling with the structure, the points-of-view, the tense, the narrators and the voice.

And then, in I don't know how long, she'll email me and say well, congratulations, there are two interested.*

And then I'll wee in my pants a little.

Wish me luck.




* this is the only part where I've let myself veer off into fantasy. Why not try a little creative visualisation?

So been a while

I have nothing much to report, well I do actually. Manuscript for book # 1 is with two publishers, on their request thanks to a feisty pitch via email by a writerly colleague of mine.

Imagine a bidding war between Text and Random House. Oh, I wish.

Everybody please cross fingers and any other bendy flexible bits of bodies. Thank you, I shall keep you posted.

Almost finished first draft of book # 2.

*

In other news, business is going well. We have 11 schools 'on the books' and debuted a few weeks ago. It's all going swimmingly though we'd like a few more bookings so we are doing mail out number 3 on the school holidays.

*

Today I went to Readings to kill time. This is what I bought:

Five Bells by Gail Jones.

Animal People by Charlotte Wood.

The Idea of Home by Geraldine Brooks (as part of the Boyer Lectures). I was disappointed with People of the Book and thus wasn't interested in Caleb's Crossing but liked The Year of Wonders and adored Nine Parts of Desire (non-fiction) so I expect this small volume will be engaging.

Quarterly Essay featuring Anna Krien's 'Us and Them' piece on animal welfare/animals/us and them

AND

Orhan Pamuk's The Museum of Innocence.

If just for the front cover, love it.

Which to read first, oh I love these types of conundrums!

bliss tuesday

CORRECTION: bliss tuesday is to be postponed. they called me last night. i have to teach a bunch of primary schoolers pe today. that's not how to pee, it's Phys.Ed. stop laughing now.
hopefully bliss tuesday will become bliss wednesday. i'll let you know.
* * *
tomorrow this is what i'm going to do:
1. for breakfast, i shall have poached eggs and coffee.
2. i will take the gigi for a 1-hour walk. i might try and run a bit. might.
3. i will start reading the jungian books mum lent me, for research for my writing.
4. i will wash and pin my hair. i have a new "hair system." more details later. this is just a quick update.
5. i will write those two letters to the bookshops. or maybe just one, to the sybers books in chapel street. the other day penny wasn't there, it was another woman. which means they have staff.
6. i will take down the recycling if clokes doesn't do it tonight.
7. i will vaccuum.
8. i will re-do my nails.
9. i will write at least 1,000 words.
10. i will not blog.
11. I WILL NOT BLOG. and this means checking blogs, or writing on my blog.
12. you have been warned. then on wednesday i will report back. you have to be the person that i'm accountable to. you have to be tough, you have to be exacting, you have to be harsh. don't take any of my shit.
13. time for dinner now. tuna mornay, vegies and rice. mmm
14. iyi akşamlar.

Rumi Friday

A Man and A Woman Arguing
One night in the desert
a poor Bedouin woman has this to say
to her husband,

"Everyone is happy
and prosperous, except us! We have no bread.
We have no spices. We have no water jug.
We barely have any clothes. No blankets

for the night. we fantasize that the full moon
is a cake. We reach for it! We're an embarrassment
even to the beggars. Everyone avoids us.

Arab men are supposed to be generous warriors,
but look at you, stumbling around! If some guest
were to come to us, we'd steal his rags
when he fell asleep. Whos is your guide
that leads you to this? We can't even get
a handful of lentils! Ten years' worth
of nothing, that's what we are!"

She went on and on.
"If God is abundant, we must be following
an imposter. Who's leading us? Some fake,
that always says, Tomorrow, illumination
will bring you treasure, tomorrow.

As everyone knows, that never comes.
Though I guess, it happens very rarely, sometimes,
that a disciple following an imposter can somehow
surpass the pretender. But still I want to know
what this deprivation says about us."

The husband replied, finally,
"How long will you complain
about mooney and our prospects for money? The torrent
of our life has mostly gone by. Don't worry about
transient things. Think how the animals live.

The dove on the branch giving thanks.
The glorious singing of the nightingale.
The gnat. The elephant. Every living thing
trusts in God for its nourishment.

These pains that you feel are messengers.
Listen to them. Turn them to sweetness. The night
is almost over. You were young once, and content.
Now you think about money all the time.

You used to be that money. You were a healthy vine.
Now you're a rotten fruit. You ought to be growing
sweeter and sweeter, but you've gone bad.
As my wife, you should be equal to me.
Like a pair of boots, if one is too tight,
the pair is of no use.

Like two folding doors, we can't be mismatched.
A lion does not mate with a wolf."

So this man who was happily poor
scolded his wife until daybreak,
when she responded,

"Don't talk to me
about your high station! Look how you act!
Spiritual arrogance is the ugliest of all things.
It's like a day that's cold and snowy,
and your clothes are wet too!

It's too much to bear!
And don't call me your mate, you fraud!
You scramble after scraps of bone
with the dogs.

You're not as satisfied as you pretend!
You're the snake and the snake charmer
at the same time, but you don't know it.
You're charming a snake for money,
and the snake is charming you.

You talk about God a lot, and you make me feel guitly
by using that word. You better watch out!
That word will poison you, if you use it
to have power over me."

So the rough volume of her talking
fell on the husband, and he fought back,
"Woman,
this poverty is my deepest joy.
This bare way of life is honest and beautiful.
We can hide nothing when we're like this.
You say I'm really arrogant and greedy,
and you say I'm a snake charmer and a snake,
but those nicknames are for you.

In your anger and your wantings
you see those qualities in me.
I want nothing from this world.

You're like a child that has turned round and round,
and now you think the house is turning.

It's your eyes that see wrong. Be patient,
and you'll see the blessings and the lord's light
in how we live."

This argument continued
throughout the day, and even longer.

*

Rumi 1207-1273

Nothing much has changed, has it?