Oh fragile, fragile humans are we. Twits all.

I'm not sure about Twitter. Actually, I am sure, I really don't think it's for me. It's boring mostly, although I admit there is an interest in some celebrities and their blatherings. It's funny; some people are way more ordinary and normal than you would expect, while others are so tedious (moonfrye zappa, I'm looking at you!). Demi and Ashton wear very thin after a while, especially his charitable mercy missions. John Mayer's gone quiet, but he was a little interesting for a little while, but he never said anything about Jennifer Anniston, which was admirable and irritating in equal measures. Oprah's jumped on the bandwagon but she doesn't say much. Yoko Ono is, well, Yoko Ono. She is exactly as you'd imagine and always says things like this:

Clean up the water inside your body. Let's be the oasis for the world. Even if you don't announce it, it will be felt by the whole world.
[As an aside I am reading a book of old Rolling Stone interview compilations. Skipped through Pete Townshend (boring, egomaniac), Jim Morrison (boring, stupid), Phil Spector (boring) then got to John Lennon. The interview is progressing for several pages, typical John anti-Paul diatribe, talking about how much of a genius he, Lennon, considered himself, then Yoko pops up with some silly comments. She was always there. And now she's on my twitter page as well. Always there. It's bizarre. Another aside: best interview so far is Andy Warhol interviewing Truman Capote on the reasons why he failed to produce a story for Rolling Stone (mag.), as commissioned, on the Rolling Stones (band) tour. It's simply a transcription of a taped chat the two had, walking through Central Park, trying to find the zoo, then getting a drink in a bar (I haven't finished it yet) all the while musing on the goings on with the Rolling Stones on tour, the groupies, the drugs etc. It's fascinating, not least because it's fucking Warhol and Capote. It's so endearingly conversational, with quite a remarkable exchange at the beginning about Capote's mother being an alcoholic, or was it Warhol's ma? Can't remember.]

When I first started following Yoko, she followed me back really quickly. So for the first week or so I had exactly 2 followers - my husband and Yoko Ono. Now I have 8 followers, including the very ex-boyfriend, who I haven't followed back and now he's gone quiet and hasn't "tweeted" for like ages. And of course I make that about me! he's humiliated because I haven't added him, oh yes, revenge is a dish best served cold, like 20 years later.
Stephen Fry is alternately boring and kind of interesting. He is on there commenting a lot. Nicole Richie, pretty boring, but some cool photos. Pink, pretty interesting. Delta Goodrem and Brian McFadden. YAWN. So yawn.
Who else is there. My old fave Jamie Oliver, bless him, he's beautiful and just as you'd expect. Diablo Cody is good, but not as good as in her blog, Sarah Silverman is good, with some good photos, and Lily Allen is kind of interesting/kind of boring. She's getting a bit too much, too many posts. I'm enjoying Jordan, she is ordinary and makes comments about her bust up with Pete Andre, without saying anything. John Cleese is good but he never writes anything these days. Melissa Gilbert, ie Laura from Little House on the Prairie is just normal but it's so bizarre to see her on my computer screen making comments. BIZARRE. And now people are asking her about whether people still call her "half-pint." Samantha Ronson and Peaches Geldof are a little dull. Just so far out of my generational reach, I think. Rove is ok, equal parts of self-promo and just funny wisecracks. Myf Warhurst is good, just the way I like 'em. Short, sharp and funny. Her "tweets" I mean, she's not out to impress or name drop or anthing. She's just crapping on about pizza or whatever. This is what I like. You can see they are real people. But while Warhurst talks about pizza, Pink mentions getting a taste of some Penfolds Grange. World's apart. You can see Rove sucking up to celebs though, especially Pink. I wish more comedians were on it. It would suit the way they operate. There are comedians with accounts, but they aren't doing anything. Something about being precious of their works?
Even Elizabeth Taylor is on there, for fuck's sake!
Another observation is that some old Melbourne bloggers are on there, and they are in no way as good in 140 characters as they were blogging. I've blocked a couple (makes me sound more important than I am, just took them off my list) because I hated seeing their whining or their self-absorbed streams of consciousness, and for some reason a word limit does not do them justice.
But the other day I sstumbled across something that showed how sad people can get, trying to chase celebs and get noticed. Following, are comments copied and pasted from one user on Twitter. This is just the last couple of days. Mrs Kutcher is Demi Moore, Kelly O is Kelly Osborne, and her mum Sharon. Katie Price is Jordan and Peter Andre, well, you know. And before you tell me to get a life, bear with me, there is a purpose to this...

Sarah:

I LOVE YOU X

THAT WAS SHITE !!!!
THANX CUM AGAIN LOL
R U CUMMIN !!!!!
@lv2gve you mean you love the ability to talk to celebs say they dont want to talk to you?
@followfridayVIP Its a sad thing if people only want 2 find friends on a friday it should be everyday !!!!

@followfridayVIP Thanx for the advice does this make me a ff viip lol ?
RING OUT THE OLD RING OUT THE NEW /RING OUTTHE FALSE RING IN THE TRUE (TENNYSON)

THOUGHT'S OF A DRY BRAIN IN A DRY SEASON .
@mrskutcher I've just read an article in one of your papers and have to say this celeb stalking thing is not good take care x

@Di65 Just a bit regarding an incident on friday about Mrs.Kutcher
@writer_gal OK IV'E JUST SEEN IT AND IT IS ALL IN VERY BAD TASTE YES EVERYONE IS RIGHT I DONT AGREE EITHER !!!!
@writer_gal I hope you are not refering to me as i,m no stalker idont even live in the same country!!!!!

@nahsta The most selfless thing i have done was give my intire wardrobe to the homeless x
@mrskutcher I have had nothing but abuse from the U.S and it's not nice since friday and i feel real sad about it x
@mrskutcher I hate to think im stalking you im not i would just appreciate for you to agree their is no bad feeling between us? xxx
THE FINAL IS NEXT WEEK FOLLOW ME AND I WILL GIVE U A MIN BY MIN UPDATE STRAIGHT FROM THE U.K AND MY HOUSE

Im from the U.k and susan boyle is living the dream and she is FANTASTIC YEAHHHHHHabout 5 hours ago from web

@peacefulwarrior Have you read the book the way of the peaceful warrior?
@CallMe_Goddess nite nite sweet dreams x
@thoward2009 The only drive thru we have is Mac D's

@thoward2009 yes im from the U.K

@followfridayVIP I dont get this ff any day of the week is cool

IM TRYING TO GET TO A HUNDRED FOLLOWERS COME ON MAKE MY DAY I WILL REPLY BACK LOVE AND PEAS XXX
@thoward2009 Whats a sonic burger?
SUSAN BOYLE TO WIN BRITAINS GOT TALENT YEAHHHHHHHH
@CallMe_Goddess what time is it there?
@AmandaSueki Hi how you doing today then and how's that butt of your's lol lol xxx
@PassionMetrics Hey my little mystery where have you gone hope i did'nt upset you
@CallMe_Goddess Im having a great time lol xx
@Di65 Its sharon gless i like although i like the other one also but queer as folk is great x
@PassionMetrics Hey where have you gone? xx
@Di65 Ilove cagney and lacey we have it here in the U.K
THE FIRST PERSON THAT CAN MAKE MY FOLLOWING TO 80 WILL GET A SURPRISE XXX
@PassionMetrics I feel now very houred that u reply and i dont have to payLOL xxx
@PassionMetrics Jolly good just saw your web site mmm?
@PassionMetrics publishing what?
@CallMe_Goddess yeah your right lol

AM I NOW LOVED BY MY AMERICAN COUSINS? xxx

@AlbionAli I dont think im the sara u no as i'm orig from london
@PassionMetrics Well i hpe your not feeling to bad now mystery woman lol xx
GOOD MORNING GOOD AFTERNOON AND EVENING AMERICA xxxx
@helsbells9 Good night sweet dreams xxx
@AlbionAli We should hook up for a coffee?
@AlbionAli Ilive in the centre of townxx
@AlbionAli so your from brighton?
@lv2gve Pleasure is all mine x
@AlbionAli where are you from?
Escala are on BGT FANTASTIC Classical at it's best xx
TO BE OR NOT 2 BE THAT IS THE QUESTION?
@eliseemoo What game u playing?
@helsbells9 IM from london what part are you going
Oh man you Americans are so lucky it's pissing with rain her in the U.K x
@helsbells9 That has made me laugh lololol xxx
@helsbells9 What a fukin idiot i am lol lol !!!xxx

@helsbells9 When is big bro starting?
SHAUN BY THE JUDGES CHOICE TO GO TO THE FINAL NEXT SATURDAYX

FLAWLESS HAVE MADE IT TO THE FINAL

It's the semi final tonight of britains got talen any followers ??? xxxx

@revswmn Keep you updated it's just come back on yeahhh
@revswmn Me and my friends are saying susan boyle to win !! yeahhh
@lv2gve IM curous about you u seem to be a mrs.kutcher stalker ?
Watching Britains got talent yeahhhh!!!!!

@mrskutcher Mrs.kutcher can you confirm to me there is no bad feeing? Im now having a bad time xxabout 10 hours ago from web in reply to mrskutcher
@thoward2009 Dont forget also the troops of the U.K and around the world
My thought's and love go out to the troops of the U.K and USA god bless to them all xxxxx

@CallMe_Goddess So am i LOL xx

@Kellya1023 Let your tree grow with love xx

@CallMe_Goddess u nut case lol xx

@Djay23 IM sure you are looking hot lol !!! xxx
@mrskutcher I would just like to appologise for the upset god bless sara claridge 1 xxx

Poverty and oysters always seem to go togeather? (Dickens) x

When i am dead i hope it may be said/his sin's were scarlet, but his books were read. xxx

@revswmn If theiir were more people like you the world would be a better place xx
@Djay23 I take it your still ignoring me ? enjoy the sun with your ladies lol xxx
@revswmn No problem lol thanx for being understanding xxx
@revswmn I just feel very misunderstood xx
@revswmn To be very honest AMERICA has seem to have pit me in the dog house i feel sad xxx
@CallMe_Goddess AMERICA dont seem to like me oh well cant please everyone!!although i do feel sad about it xx
@CallMe_Goddess No i'm ok i just found it all a bit much !!lol
HELLO TO AMERICA LOVE AND PEAS XXXXXX

@CallMe_Goddess hello love how are u im just getting over my onslaught from friday lol

@revswmn I hold my hand's up i was just making a point x
@revswmn I get your pont i was just trying to make a point take care x
@LJRoon Thanx for your comment x

@katalystkaryn Got your pint peas and love lol x
@PassionMetrics just out of interest why are you not lucky? x

That they have as much manners as me

Oh by the way mrs.kutcher ignored my appology i rest my case where celebs are involved !!!!!!

@revswmn who with?

I would like to say kelly o has the most disgusting mouth i've heard from a woman if you can call her that !!!!!!
@CallMe_Goddess I upset mrs.kutcher and half of america lol

So no ones prepared to follow the yellow brick road with me you all seem to be a little quiet tonight being that you had so much to say yest

@MissKatiePrice Your hubbie is a good guy and always has time for people its not what i have found with some celebs in u.s lol lol xxx
@MissKatiePrice Now i know how it feels when people are nasty to you i upset the us last night xxx

@MissKatiePrice Its sara from brighton hope your ok and the kids xxxxx
@MissKatiePrice Hi katie good to see a decent english person on here who is polite yeahhhh
@Djay23 Lets see how long that last's lol

@adam718 only u can answer that chap.
@CallMe_Goddess I upset the whole of the u.s last night lol

OMG just seen a munchkin shall i ask for his autograph lol

Well im on my yellow brick road if you come we will have fun lol
@mrskutcher And i do admire you as an artist and mother and wife x

@mrskutcher If you felt bullied it was not ment to come across that way and thank you for replying to me regards sara claridge1 xx

@mrskutcher mrs.kutcher i hope you can except my appology it was not ment to be an all out was and i do admire your integrity as a woman xxx

Being that i'm use to everyone's abuse if ther is a question u want from a celeb ask meI'm sure i'm well known in the u.s now lol 2 ask them

@CallMe_Goddess Thats because they are following me giving me a hard tim over mrs.kutcher lol
@PerezHilton Dont forget the guiness happy time's x

@yibberj2 Will do lol

Being that you think im a crank follow me on the yellow brick road to the emerald city lolx

@Lulinet Interested to no what your favourite book is? Mine is astonishing the god's by Ben okri it's a good read try and get it xxxx
@Kellya1023 Hvae a good time x

@Boppy12 Please dont send stupid dm's thanx

Only positive people need reply or i wont reply back thanx.

But im interested in those that supported my views i'd be greatful and will follow you as a friend thank you x

I dont want to go over old ground but would be iterested in positive feed back regarding mrs.kutcher i will reply to everyone.
will reply to positive answers cheers x
I would be interested on your thoughts about yesterday but only from those that supported what i had to say thanx guys sara x
@eliseemoo Thanx for your support i dont feel gret about the whole thing x
@yibberj2 Have a good day x

@mckennae Dong Ding lol

@yibberj2 Im going to send you my e.mail address through direct so it's more private and also talk about proof reading xxxxxx

@yibberj2 the sad thing is i would like to say sorry to mrs.kutcher but cant on here without people commenting!!!
@yibberj2 Im on here like everyone else to meet people and have a nice time thank you for your support x

@yibberj2 If you could see some of the abuse i took it wasn't very nice!

@yibberj2 i wanted to say to you i write quick and some of my keys get stuck hence the spelling lol
@yibberj2 Exactly it was an inonocent qestion that got out of hand !!

I'd hate to think people thought that was a publicity stunt it was not i just wanted an answer an i do admire mrs.kutcher as a person,

@yibberj2 Im not into arguing with people and now feel like the most hated person in the u.s x

The only comment i will make today re last night i have been very misunderstood and will appologise to mrs.kutcher by letter.

@yibberj2 oh ok sorry about that last night was a bit heavy !!! lol

@ThankTank Than you xxxx

@mckennae As one say's alway's look on the bright side of life !!!\

@mckennae I take it your an addict then?

@Cynnergies Im sorry toyu about last night i hpoe all is forgiven?x

Good morning everyone a new a new start and a good day for mrs.kutcher pleaseno more comments thank you.
@kalikitty67 And as for you im reporting your name today for the abuse ok

@ShelbyCooper66 well i can tell you now someone has hacked into my computer ok

@MissKellyO kelly you can tell your silly little friend she is or you are going to be done for hacking into my computer understand
@kalikitty67 what a load of shite you are talking your all beginning to sound like stuck records what you looking for praise from miss moor

@lynnedy how dare u accuse me of such things and whats it to you that ive been up for the night your hacking me and your in big shite!!!
@lynnedy What the fuck are you saying you think iv,e taken something are u crazt this is serios now and will be dealt with in the correct
@lynnedy Im +going to check your profile out and i may find answer>

@lynnedy I think your hacking into my computer or someoneis
@Ange_0079 Idont make a point of following celebs or plastic americans and i dont dislike americans i just dont like plastic ones
@lynnedy I want you 2 tell me where she comesinto it if this carries on there's going to agrovation

@lynnedy I was born 66 so that makes me 43 in a couple of months time and im 2 young to have heart attacks
@alexxxita Listen dont no what your talking about i dont no you so please dont waste my time yhank you
@lynnedy a celebrity b4 and wher does sharon o come in to it?

@lynnedy Listen who ever you are i dont make a point of being rude to anyone and i dont use twitter that oftenand iv'e never been rude to
@lynnedy you no full well im british why?

@DawnMarieLS by the look of your pic u look plastic like most americans except the exceptional few

@Pattytdb Im not digging u guys ok
@LLLGirl All your going by is someone on the movies u no this woman as much as i do
At some point u will find the brains to understand what i was talking about you americans just live in a plastic world good night

@lynnedy I dont feel obliged to tell where i live

@durancd yeah iv'e been around for a while and i do understand it's ive noticed this celeb thing is a piss take
@lynnedy yeah i did have a bet with a friend but it still does not involve mrs.kutcher kelly was taking the piss out of people

Im getting sick of this i have not bullied mrs.kutcher so get your facts right it was not directedat her alone
@lynnedy What interest is it to you what brighton i come from1:51 PM May 24th from web

@LLLGirl Get a life and go and stop trying to crawl up celebs arses
@lynnedy Idont no why u keep going on about kelly o i have no interest in her at all i think she is foul mothed and disgusting

@MADVIV You need to get a life your an arse licker !!!

@ecool Smart arse i type very fast hence the mistakes !!!
@lynnedy And what are you talking about re sharon o?
@lynnedy Dont no what your talking about?
@lynnedy I'm aware mrs kutcher can not speak unless she folows me hence why i said would she follow for a few mins so icould say sorry!!!!

Iv'e got nothing against mrs.kutcher and i'm not a wannabe and this is completley out of hand and i'm sure mrs.kutcher will thank you all !!
Thank you 4 an interesting evening good luck to you all regards sara claridge1 mins so i can appologise correctly i'd be very greatful with regards saraclaridge1 xx

@mrskutcher mrs kutcher i would just like to appologise with my outburst i hope we can talk privatley if you could just follow me for a few
@Pattytdb Mrskutcher has'nt replied and we have't spoken i will appologise what do you think send reply back private xx

@Lulinet Hey if i attacked you tonight it honestly was'nt at you so many people have shouted at me i got confused who was who im very sory x
@Pattytdb you seem about the only person that understands where im coming from ive been called all sorts tonight cheers anyway x
@ian_former I'ts just an observation i noticed and wanted to say something is that so wrong?
@LadyThawk Hey its ok i was just trying to get apoint across and have been hit with abuse x

@LadyThawk No problem sorry x

@carterm1 @LadyThawk No problem xGet a life you nerd

@MADVIV Im not bullying mrs kutcher at all i just wanted a simple answer but nosey people like u have to have the last word !!!

@Debplus4 Not really interested in what you have to say good job i have a spell check arsehole
@yibberj2 Tell me a writer with perfect spelling when there mad?

4 all u upstarts get over yourselves this wholr thing was not aimed at mrs kutcher ok so give me a break and go have some cookies x

@peelnet Im not negative or desperate i just wanted an answer from mrs kutcher and did not expect it to turn out like this !!!
@MADVIV satisfied !!!
@maineprmaven Excuse me i have enough friends and infact i like mrs kutcher i would have much like to have a one 2 one with her.
@Pattytdb Ilive in the uk x
@eliseemoo Im doing ok im just waiting for mrs kutcher to follow me so i can talk to her on an equal footing x
Like fuck is it equal footing on here your talking shite friend one rule for them and one for us!!!! from web
@yibberj2 I would you believe write comedy im just so pissed off for what comments people have made it will be good to stay in touch x
@Lulinet do u think mrs kutcher will reply to you for that question wow she was prgnant big deal!!!
@Pattytdb theres your answer bro mrs kutcher hasnt got back to me and thinks im going to sell this its something i would never do lol xx
@Pattytdb take the piss out of twetters tonight i dont want fame or fortune from this i just want a clear answer and im not into journalisam
@Pattytdb Im not looking for any publicity through this im a human being with a questions i want answered i watched kelly osbourne tonight

@Lulinet Im behind you if these celebs want to be on her they should have the respect not to be so fucking rude xxx

kutcher to answer my question on her terms!!!
I will reply to every question you want to fire at me im no crank im a graduate i dont need a councilour im passionate and would like mrs

It seems mrs kutcher is not prepared to talk to me one on one i can gurantee you all if i have to reply to you all and im all following you

@Debplus If you understood what ni was sying you would know what i'm saying so dont make comment if you dont understand the question!!!
@thoward2009 I'ts a pleasure xthanx for support x

Just one more thing if you dont want the aggro of followers then dont go on her unless your prepared to give people a fair trial

the truth and it seems ther's onlt a few on my side who agree and demi if you read this mate follow me so i can talk to you without wanabees

Exactly we are all hum,an with feelings but i wopuld like to speak to demi on a one 2one and i havent the time for arse lickers who dont say

i need to talk to you in private it's not fired at you as i said im just intrigued and i appologise if ive hurt your feelings regards sara x
@mrskutcher Demi im so sorry if ive offended you it's not what i.m about this is a conversation between you and i and no one else i feel
friends with people from all walks of life money or fame is not what im about i just wanted an answer im very srry if ive offended people xx
I seem to have made enemys thats not what i want i asked demi being that she is a woman of integrity im no celeb hunter its just nice to be

@mrskutcher woulld like us to stay in touch please surprise and you are a feelings person regards sara claridge xxxxx

@mrskutcher admire your work i'd like to think you would follow me as you seem adjusted and interesting im no celeb hunter im a writer and
@mrskutcher I do appologise if iv'e offended you in anyway that wasnt ment to be im a writer and just find it all a bit intriging and i do
like myself it can be very offending i appreciate you have alot of people wanting your attention but im baffeld that you dont respond??
@mrskutcher Hi demi im interested to no why celebs like yourself although i do admire you seem to not engadge in conversation with people

im no celeb hunter i like to meet people from all walks of life but it just so fucks me off to think you think you are better than us !!!!!
I thought the whole idea of twitter was to make friends and these celebs think we are not good enough to follow i rest my case!!!!!!!!

@MissKellyO you are such a piss taker thats what i like about you !!!

@MrsOsbourne Hi sharon can u please follow me as people here in the uk dont believe i can get u or kelly to follow me thanx sara brighton xx
@MissKellyO was i right sly stallones mrs?
@MissKellyO The bird that was married to sly stallone ? lol
@Kellya1023 suck'blow and swallow ha ha wish i was there with you lol ha
@AmandaHol your get use to this twitter thing im following you it would be nice if you could follow me i used to live round the corner from
@MissKellyO Kelly ive just bet with my mate here in u.k that you will follow me so please do me the favour cheers girl xxx

*******

Is it just me, or does this poor woman read as desperately and lonely and pathetic as I think she does? Literally begging for Jordan to "follow" her because people don't think she can get her to add her? It seemed she started in on Demi Moore because she wouldn't talk to her, and tried to get some sort of thing going with her, then obviously other people jumped all over her telling her to fuck off and that she was arselicking and chasing celebrities etc, and then she tried to justify herself, and deny it all. Now, I know I'm a sad case for even spending this much time on this, but it made me wonder - is this what we've come to? What would this woman do if she didn't have the Internet? Would she be stalking the lady at her local shop or the post man in her village? The World Wide Web is a terrific thing, but there has to be a negative, opposite effect. Is this one of them? People like this manage to alienate other humans as easily online (if not more so) than in real life.

What do you think? Have you had more social trouble online than off or would it be a true reflection of how you relate to others offline? Do you apply the same standards, manners, ethics or do you have a different set of "ways of being"?

It's a while since I asked questions like this. I would love to know what you think.

I'm all ears.

more germaine whimsy

and yes, it shall be whimsy. while it makes me a little nervous to just write a non-edited, unplanned piece on this topic, this woman - for it is indeed the week of the greer - i am just going to write my feelings out, and anybody who wants to be picky and neg me and say it's ill-structured, rambling and incoherent, can just bugger off. this is my blog, and i'll be incoherent if i want to.

the last time i did a week on someone, it was david hicks. back when i had hours of university master-avoiding that needed to be done every day. it was a requirement of full-time study, it was in the course guidelines.

i have no such excuses now, dear reader. i am working rather more than i would choose, but enjoying earning money for the first time, properly and regularly, in more years than i care to say. and while i like to say this is the week of germaine, i am aware that i haven't posted all week.
so, to germaine. or more precisely, this article which appeared last saturday in the age.

i've picked a bone with traceeeee before, over peter garrett's suiting up and seeming to forget all his old song lyrics. i'm sure it was her that wrote an article saying something like "leave him alone, he's gonna work it from the inside."

still waiting on that one, trace.

but to the latest. the headline is greer's latest rage more glib than lib.

i know that sub-editors write the headlines, so that's not traceeeee's fault, but the headline does announce the tone that she embraces in her article.

what does glib mean anyway? according to one source, it's any of the following:

smooth and slippery; speaking or spoken in a smooth manner; easily fluent; careless; insincere.

so it's a negative word, it seems, something suspect and something not altogether pleasant. exactly how many see greer it seems.

my reading of the hutchinson article made me think that she had missed the point. while she admits to being fascinated with the greer, and sees herself as benefitting from the social swathe the female eunuch cut through the world at that time, and the resonance since, she then goes on to methodically attempt to undermine germaine, and to cast her as suspect - geographically, politically and feministically.

she talks about the new essay on rage, particularly on aboriginal male rage. hutchison implies that germaine is wrong in thinking, from her lovely, far-away english residence, that indigenous men are self-destructing out of rage, and not grief. hutchison says that germaine was not at the sorry day in canberra, and obviously the broadcast that she watched in her lovely, far-away english residence didn't show all the aboriginal people who attended. hutchison was there, she saw that the indigenous people there were in the background, under trees, not pushing themselves to the front. so germaine must be wrong in thinking the aboriginal men were absent. ah, point scored. i haven't read the rage essay yet, so i don't know exactly what trace is referring to. but it's clear she thinks she scored over germaine about this. i'm also not sure why it's important for people to try to bring this woman down. to try to prove her wrong. and to try and cut her legs out from under her.

but going back to the rage vs grief thing - they aren't separate. they can and do co-exist. it could be argued that you can't have one without the other. what does rage come from, and how does it differ from anger. what are the degrees on the continuum. i need to read the essay to try to understand better. but back to the sorry day, perhaps on that day people showed their grief - grief is far more socially acceptable than rage. but surely the rage is there, in all of them (us?). to show rage at the sorry day would have been to show poor manners, lack of dignity, lack of good-heart. i don't know, but i guess that indigenous people like everyone else would pride themselves on their collective good-heart and their dignity.

hutchison then goes on to talk about the joanna murray-smith thing, where germaine called her "an insane reactionary who held feminism in contempt." again she tries to score points, saying the she knows that murray-smith's family are left-wing inellectuals, her mother taught hutchison english, and her father was "revered in literary intellectual circles." well, being literary, or left-wing doesn't automatically exclude a person from being an insane reactionary and anti-feminist. are all these states of being mutually exclusive? i think not.

but as usual, germaine has made her controversial comment, just a few words, and we don't know the context, she hasn't offered an explanation for it, we don't know what question she was asked to respond to. nothing. but it has to be noted that murray-smith has been criticised by other people for being right-wing and anti-feminist, eg. Alison Croggan, see article.

this is what really gets up people's noses about germaine as well. she doesn't give herself to us. she doesn't lay herself bare. we don't know anything about her. maybe in the past she was very open about her own personal experiences, couched within her writing on certain topics; sexuality, gender issues, menopause, father-daughter relationships. but in the media at large, she gives them nothing about herself. i have no idea if she's ever been married, ever been pregnant, ever had a lesbian tryst, ever been depressed, ever driven drunk, ever taken drugs, ever stalked anyone, ever plagiarised anything.

to me, she has never fallen. she has never done an insipid new idea interview. she doesn't give permission to bigraphers, but will call them parasites. why don't they create something for themselves, she wonders. why don't they get a life?

on the question and answer show last week, germaine was insulted most shockingly by the murdoch paper man. he called her old. someone whispered sotto voce that it was below the belt, perhaps it was carr. germaine threw out a facial reaction but nothing else. she doesn't seem to be affected by people trying to tear her down.
you have to admire the woman for that, if nothing else.
the whole traceeeee article just seemed to me a set-up for tearing greer down. scoring points.
oooh, look at me. i spat on germaine greer!

this was the big, green, slimy slagging at greer from hutchison, who said: "while her observations about the cultural and social crisis in aboriginal australia are astute, her cause-and-effect arguments fail spectacularly."

but where's the detail in your argument, traceeeee? you can't make a statement like that and then just leave your readers hanging. where's your proof?

at the end of the article, hutchison is getting quite bitchy, always a sure sign of someone who is desperately trying to make a point and has nothing of real substance to rely on.

"But it didn't stop Greer flying off in a rage - yes, rage - about [Murray-Smith]"

i don't know that greer has either said rage is a bad thing, or something that she doesn't feel. are you trying to highlight some sort of irony there, hutchison, by referring to geer flying off in a rage?

but finally, traceeeee writes that greer's closing comment "if i was more animal and less pseudo intellectual i'd be a much happier person" was profoundly sad and confronting to the feminist ideals she "trumpeted all those years ago."

sad? did you not see germaine's full cheek with quite a bit of tongue in it? i think she meant it literally, but she was also being funny, she was being self-deprecating and i understand what she meant. i wish i was a little more animal too. i wish i didn't analyse anything and everything, try to understand everything, get affected by everything. i wish i could just let things be, feel things, not have to work so damn hard every single day to exist without imploding.

and how on earth is that confronting - do you mean contradictory - to any feminist ideals? we all are animals, really. why can't i be a person who wants to be more in touch with my primal stuff, less living in my head, but also wants to choose about whether i wear lipstick, remove my body hair, wear what i like. it's all about choices, and choosing to react in a certain way when i realise that some things i can choose, some things i can't. and that's about it.

so tell me. do you fear the greer?

this is a post i've had sitting in drafts for about 2 years. i confess i was reluctant to post it back when i wrote it (shortly after steve irwin died) because i didn't want people criticising me for being a greer fan-girl. but two recent commenters have let me know that they too admire her, so with the numbers of support, and those two readers at my side, i want to open it up a bit. it's timely because she's here, and i'm going to see her keynote speech on rage at the mwf very soon. and also there are news articles creeping out of the woodwork each day it seems.

last night i watched germaine on channel 2 at 9.30. i can't remember the show - q and a?? - but there was bob carr, a murdoch-suit from the australian, julie bishop, and some young dude who was the only one that germaine really nodded in agreement at during the entire thing. they talked about a lot of different things, taking questions from the live audience.

i swear, it was like the germaine show. the audience clapped her several times, and while the others were so tightly held and robotic (and particularly bob carr with his fruity, snotty, pompous voice and self-serving attempts to be political towards the end of the show, bishop also tried this), germaine was reactive, animated, facially expressive, moving her body back and forward trying to see people's faces as they talked, rolling her eyes, gasping, laughing explosively at one point. and oh, the words out of her mouth were sublime. she was, quite simply, mesmerising. she was self-deprecating, referring to the female eunuch as just a book, a product of the times and that she wishes it were a better book, that it was too scholarly (i think that's what she said, i have the show taped and haven't watched it again) and that she wishes there were other books after that picked up the tempo and carried things forward. she said it wasn't the book that was important, it was the era and what was happening. and she was gracious - refusing to bite when the newspaper-turd insulted her by calling her old. while any old hack knows they can be guaranteed a good germaine quote, ie a controversial one, if they only ask the right question, she was remarkably restrained when provoked a couple of times on this particular occasion. she didn't bite, even though people were placing their metaphorical prodding fingers quite close to her sharp teeth.

and it made me think - who will we have when she is gone? i can't think of another smarty-pants in her league, who is such a light in the intellectual world. of course, there are brilliant, brilliant people everywhere. but there is no one quite like germaine.

anyway, i found this old draft and here it is. look her up on youtube. read her stuff. it's awesome.

* * *

in a world which seems to detest germaine greer, i wish to raise my hand, and say that i find it amusing, and slightly puzzling, that this one woman, who lives over the other side of the world, can arouse in all of us such a maelstrom of reaction.

let me state upfront: i admire the greer.

but then i have a habit of kind of going against the flow. while she's no underdog, i do tend to support underdogs. and while i don't agree with everything she says, i like the way she says everything. loudly and controversially. she calls it as she sees it, without seeming to have any real personal agenda. she seems to be a truth-seeker, trying to understand and to disseminate the products of her fierce intellectualisation of everything she comes across.

there are some reasons why i think she really affects people in such a visceral way. and you can't deny that she does.

with the whole steve irwin thing, the tone of the commentary at the time revealed the hate for this woman. it's funny to me that while she said something about him that many others had also said to that point, once germaine greer said it, the reaction was immediate and deafening. and let's be honest - she wasn't the only one who might have made an ironic connection between his pursuit of certain dangerous members of the animal kingdom, and his dramatic, watery end.

lying in bed this morning, i was thinking of reasons why greer affects people so strongly. this is what i came up with:

1. she is a woman and she is opinionated and she is outspoken. now before you get all femmo on my arse, think about this. while there has been a little sub-dialogue of whether we still need feminism, with the apparent thought that we have equality of the sexes, there is still a lot of inequality in many areas of society. but going beyond that, the fact remains. alot of people tend not to like an outspoken woman. what is forceful in a man, is perceived as somewhat less than attractive in a woman. and women like that are often targeted to be taken down.

2. she is not conventionally beautiful. fact: if germaine greer were typically beautiful, she would be easier to ignore. or easier for people to give what she says some credence. beautiful people have a power that others don't. people like to look at them, and they like to be friends with them and they like the beautiful person to think kindly of them. people want to be close to beautiful people. and i've got the idea that not only did greer not trade on her beauty in her youth, she railed against the conventions of beauty and challenging women and men to look at themselves and each other a bit more closely. i might have this bit wrong, about her and beauty. i think she was beautiful when she was younger, and she's still a looker in my opinion. and i'm still working out for myself my ideas about beauty and power.

3. she doesn't live here. she has abandoned this country so what right does she have to make comments about our affairs? greer has been an expat for yonks. some of our expats we like, for example... um. well, we like kylie. and barry humphries. but we love to hate germaine. she probably made a good decision to leave and go somewhere where people didn't hate her. i wonder how they feel about her in england.

4. she is childless. older women who haven't got children and who haven't done an interview with new idea moaning about their barren wombs are suspect. the thought that she might be voluntarily childless is even more confronting to us, and absolute proof that she is suspect. that there is something wrong with her. that she is nutty. what woman doesn't want a baby all of her own?

5. she is stubborn. greer, in addition to being outspoken, also seems to be impulsive. she talks without thinking, perhaps. maybe she makes statements that she would later revise, maybe not. but the fact that she sticks to her own party line, would annoy the shit out of a lot of people. other strong personalities like to be able to score points off a rival, but you can't score points off someone who won't engage.

6. she is fiercely intellectual. greer is a thinker, on which she has based her entire intellectual life and academic and journalistic output. this is what we have come to expect from men, but not women. again, she is bucking the system, and not behaving.

7. she is successful. quite simply, she has a voice. when germaine publishes an article, the whole world listens. perhaps this is because it is usually controversial, and contrary. contrariness seems guaranteed with germaine greer. there would be a lot of people who envy her reach, her audience (an audience which while mixed in its response, at least hears her).

8. she has never really fallen. apart from the incident when she was sat upon by a disgruntled student for a couple of hours and held hostage at her house, she has not really shown vulnerability. she is tough, rock hard, yet at times shows a weird tendency to do the unexpected, like appear on celebrity big brother.

9. she is a bit kooky. the aboriginal stuff fits in with this. she steps on people's toes. she gathers to her chest certain causes, appropriates them in perhaps inappropriate ways, such as saying she never steps off the plane when she travels to australia, never steps onto the tarmac without an express invitation by the local indigenous traditional landowner. if this isn't kooky, i don't know what is.

but as kids are saying these days, who gives? [in my youth it was who gives a shit? i'm glad to see the young are using cleaner expressions in some instances these days.]

people who take themselves too seriously give. and this is another thing germaine is guilty of. she seems to have little or no sense of humour. she will scoff at people and roll her eyes when she disagrees with them, or thinks them fools, and she will laugh loudly (and sometimes inappropriately) at something she thinks ludicrous. but is it funny? is she pleased and entertained or just thinking how the fuck can i exist amongst such idiots?

i know, i know

for someone who has said they have little interest in the olympics, two posts in as many days on that very topic.

unless something dramatic happens (something more than a rower lying down or another drug cheast bust) i PROMISE this will be it for me on the olympics.
i confess to watching about 20 mins of the mind-numbingly boring opening ceremony last night. immediately i noticed the military-feel of all the syncopated people, doing their big-group collectivist thing. surely we weren't being subjected to propoganda?
maybe it's my individualistic social conditioning, but after a very little while, the spectacle of it was diluted by the feeling that i was watching an army being put through its paces.
reading the paper this morning, it seems i was not the only one to have this feeling. there are reports of people being injured during rehearsals, practising for 48 hours and falling asleep in the grandstand.
yeah, human rights are so fixed now in china, all it took was the olympic games.
also, i saw a kind of bent sieg-heil from the children in costumes (were they regional wear? no tibet national costume i'm sure) while they were singing the national anthem, and having goose-stepping soldiers bring in the chinese flag. is that kosher? aren't the olympics meant to be a political-free zone? it all made me feel uncomfortable, and as if i were watching propoganda.
all this and more consume me this fine melbourne morning.
other thoughts for the day:
1. i am extremely happy with our new bordello-red velvet couch from going, going, gone. half price, just a few little fabric glue flaws. it's sitting very lushly in our lounge room now and i'm looking forward to watching the rest of west wing as a lie there like some hooker, eating my low-fat ice cream.
2. alannah hill's son was wearing a geelong jumper today. it made me think ever so much more of her. also the fact she had all sorts of crap spilling out of her black mercedes into the gutter. also her hair wasn't frou-froud, with nary a flower or feather in sight. she even smiled at me when i said "go cats".
3. where do i get the recipe for healthy'ish sausage rolls? all my cook books save one fancy-pants one are in storage. i guess i'll have to trawl the internet but i am finding net recipes can be SHIT and WRONG and DON'T WORK (witness creme brulees failure).
4. i should have gotten a coffee from d. chirico this morning. i broke the plunger last night, will have to buy another.
5. i'm happy to see a profile on chris lilley in the weekend magazine. just recently we were talking about how we'd not read much about him at all. my mum saw him recently at st. kilda library. she recognised him, and he saw that she saw. so we'll be looking out for a character like mum in his next series. will keep you posted.
6. we now have a plan involving a funky deco cbd pad.
7. i do love a good plan.
8. geelong slaughtered melbourne last night. i didn't watch any of the game. i suppose this makes me a bad geelong supporter, in addition to a bad australian
9. i really, really do hate gladiator sandals. they look especially bad on mary-kate olsen, now she's chunked up a bit.
10. even though we pay removalist men to move our heavy stuff, why do we feel so bad for them when it's a really bulky, difficult item? it's partly because they often make a big deal about access, and the object, and how tough a job it is. they are angling for a tip/more money. i say, it's your business, you're the professional. i don't care how hard it is, just do it. that's what you're being paid for.

11. love the couch.

you've come a long way, baby.

really?

back when i was young and the kids drank big ms and the mothers drank tab and the fathers drank melbourne bitter, or vic bitter, none of that fancy shit, and when no one really thought much about going to the shops on your bike and buying a bag of lollies; when fish and chips were a weekly treat, when going out for dinner meant the local chinese restaurant, and chicken and sweet corn soup was exotic but not too outlandish so that it was the only thing, along with dim sims, that fussy 7-year-old male virgos would eat. back then, thinking back, it's easy to think that things were simpler.

that men and women were a little more cut and dried in their gender roles.

i know things were being challenged in the '60s and '70s - hell, at the moment i'm re-reading nancy friday, and i've read greer, as well as naomi wolf who kind of tries to pick up, along with paglia, the new wave of thinking.

but why, when all is said and done, am i still washing a man's underwear and hanging them up, working out what to eat for dinner, worrying about the management of the household, AS WELL AS THINKING ABOUT EARNING MONEY, thinking about my mortgage, trying to summon some sort of interest in sexual pleasure (fuck nancy friday and her libidinous life; she was/is childless).

at least i don't iron his shirts. what a fucking emancipated woman am i.

the spare room

in my mind, there are two sort of unpopular (at times) writers who emerged from australia. one is germaine greer and the other is helen garner. maybe unpopular is the wrong word. i guess i am trying to say that these two women seem to polarise people; people either love them or hate them, and firmly and unchangeably divided into camps, then argue for them or against them.

helen garner caused a lot of hullabaloo when her book the first stone was published. i remember standing at a party, drink in hand after reading - and thoroughly enjoying - this book with a small group of people. all of them were damning garner for the stance they perceived her to have taken with this book. all of them accused her of betraying her feminist sisters (ie the young women at the centre of the case) and, when i asked, all of them admitted to not having even read the book. from memory, there were a couple of women, and one man, and it was the man who was the most aggressively vocal in his anti-garner tirade.

i stood my ground and said that i'd read the book, and that if anyone came off badly in it is was helen herself, who seemed to be continually berating herself within the text, for her unkind feelings towards the girls and her wonderings - or suspicions - about why they wouldn't talk to her. she also agonised over the very issue of whether she was betraying the femininist "code" and seemed to leave it unresolved in her mind. i remember it as an honest and direct book, and being convinced that garner had really tried to do it to the best of her ability, and had wrestled with its complexities and been almost unhinged by it in some way. it was a book, i thought, surprisingly empty of judgment - she didn't seem to damn anyone, she was sincerely just trying to understand what happened, how it happened, and find the truth. she wrote about her difficulties with telling the story, and admitted it was one-sided because the young women wouldn't talk to her.

suddenly, liking helen garner became a kind of dangerous thing to do. not unlike saying that you like and admire germaine greer. everyone seems to either fear the greer, or love her. i want to resist getting into things germaine here, but suffice to say now i have finished on chesil beach, another very compelling book (but with a somewhat weak denouement) next on the list is shakespeare's wife. it's there, perched on the edge of my bedside table, waiting for me.

tonight.

but to the spare room. i read it in two days. i passed it to my mother. she read it in one. we are both big fans of garner's - going back years. my interest in her is buoyed by the fact that while she is my father's second cousin, i have never met her. i missed the funeral of my grandfather - i was overseas. should i feel shame at not regretting my inability to attend my grandfather's funeral as much as i regret not meeting helen garner on that day?

probably.

my father said to me 20 years ago, or more, when i first told him i was working on a story (a winsome and girlishly pathetic pirate romance, from memory) that he could get her phone number so i could call and see if she would read it. i'm so glad i didn't. that story wasn't a story - it was just some written down fantasy, exploring my love-lust for a certain english fop-singer who had a white line painted across his nose. best left behind.

so she's kind of like a mystery to me. she hovers there, in the family, distantly, but someone i feel i wish i knew. i would like to have met her once. maybe at my father's funeral. god i'm a bitch.

for me, the spare room, resonated with an awesome power. i have been the character helen, and her friend, nicola, was my mum. as i read the book, i made all the parallels in my mind. i didn't have the 3am sheet-washing or having to physically nurse her (only a couple of times did i have to help my mother get dressed, dried or wipe her bottom), but i had my mother live with me for 15 months one time, and the second time for about 6 months. i gave up my bed happily, i cooked and looked after her, taking her trays in bed, washing her clothes, ferrying her to peter mac. that was all easy. what was hard was dealing with the resentment, the anger, the rage that would build. and then the guilt - how could i be feeling like this when my poor, sick, cancer-stricken mother, with no hair, skin and bones, in pain, who gave me life, who gave me everything when i was growing up - how could i then repay her like this?

it was a more loaded relationship than the one the helen character in the book has with her friend. but alot of the emotions were the same. like the anger. like the suspicion that your loved one is being taken advantage of by charlatan health-gurus. my mother told me that she went to a clinic much like the one described in the book - the theodore institute - which actually had a fucking tepee thing for smoking you.

but i didn't want to go in there, she said.

oh my god, i said, i didn't know about that place.

the man there, the doctor, he was like she described in the book.

oh my GOD.

and the vitamin c, they wanted to inject me with it, but i didn't really want that, and they were too expensive, so i just took the tablets.

for me, for us i suspect, i was hard having the mother-daughter role reversed. i didn't want to be the grown up one, i wanted her to stay the same. always there for me, always the patient, kind, supportive mother that she'd always been. i didn't want to have to be selfless, and swallow my annoyances when her particular personality foibles bothered me. i went through a divorce, i had to work and earn money and rush around after a toddler. cook. clean.

and i worried that my mum would die. we had several crises - she had a stem cell transplant and wound up in icu for days. she got listeria and battled that with no immune system to speak of. she got a bad knee from the cancer spreading and it wasn't diagnosed or treated promptly enough.

but mostly i worried that i'd damaged our relationship beyond repair with my moodiness, and my snippiness, and my sharp tongue. that my mother's unconditional love might have become conditional upon the fact that i be nice to her, that i look after her with kindness, that i have compassion for a woman who was sick. isn't that the natural reaction to have when faced with the sickness of your mother?

at times the compassion was hard to feel. and even harder to show.

mum survived and now the cancer is gone. amazingly our relationship has gone back to mother and daughter, the way it was. but we have all learnt things. about compassion. about communication. we had the hard conversations, the ones you absolutely should have if you think a person you most love is going to maybe, possibly, might happen - no, surely it's not possible, yes it is - die. the words have to be said, where you tell them you love them, and this one is the hardest, that you will really really miss them when they aren't here anymore. usually this bit is prefaced with "whenever you do die, even if it's in 20 years" and accompanied with a wryly brave smile, because you are both thinking "it might be alot earlier than that" but you both choose to ignore that and pretend.

reading helen garner's novel made me think, fuck, perhaps i'm not the only one to have felt like this when caring for a loved one. maybe it's common? maybe it's normal?

you see, there's so much written about the sick people, not much about the carers. that's why i loved this book. because it was real, and it was true. and as for the arguments re fiction and non-fiction:

it just doesn't matter. i'm not interested. when something makes me feel, or validates my feelings, that's enough for me.

some random sunday thoughts

this morning i woke up thinking about germaine greer and the whole steve irwin controversy that she sparked with her newspaper article. i was wondering why it is that so many people hate her. why do we fear the greer?

this is a theme that i visited early on in this blog's life, with a promise that i would write something on it. germaine has long been a prickly figure, who seems to make everyone pissed off when she opens her mouth. i want to explore the reasons why this might be, and why she seems to have the status of someone who's embarrassing and you roll your eyes whenever she publishes. it reminds me a bit of the former saint helen de garner who fell from the pedestal when she published the first stone. it became apparent to me how much vitriolic reaction she was attracting because of it when i was at a party and tried to discuss the book with some friends. they were all most hateful, and totally condemned her, while i said things like, well she tackled a difficult subject, she admitted her weaknesses and was brutally honest, not the least with herself and i love her candour. but no one would give me an inch. and when i asked, none of them had read the book.

i started writing the greer thing this morning, on my laptop in bed, feeling like carrie. then i got out of bed, had some toast and then john returned back from a trip out to get a birthday present for princess (next tuesday everyone. TEN YEARS OLD.) he brought the papers home with him.

i had a quick look at the front page of the age, and wondered why my reaction to peter brock's death has been so neutral verging on not-much-sympathy, in comparison to the croc man's death, where i felt sorry enough to encourage the kids to write cards to bindi.

i can say what the reason was. put simply, brock recently left his partner of more than 25 years. i'm being a hypocrite when i say that i felt sorry for steve because although he was flawed, you could say he had a good heart and was a very authentic "bloke." but why am i more accepting of his flaws (which were kind of in the "tool" basket) than brock's?

we are all flawed human beings, but i guess we tolerate some flaws more readily than others.

then, also on the front page, there's an article, small, bottom left corner, reporting that THERE IS NO EVIDENCE THAT SADDAM HAD ANY CONNECTIONS TO AL-QAEDA.

let me ask you a question. did you at any time think there were links? why did you think that?

when i disussed it with john a while ago, with me saying, and there's no evidence that saddam was connected to al-qaeda, he said oh, i thought there was.

so people obviously thought there was. because it had been suggested, repeated, by governments around the world, the media dutifully reported what the pollies said, and just like that, with a wave of the wand and a shower of glittery stuff, an idea is planted, and grows in the public's mind. if you read the news thoroughly and follow stories, you can get a glimmer of what might be the truth. but if you rely on talk with others, and reading headlines and/or first paragraph stuff, then you are missing out. likewise if you read the herald-sun. i also think that the australian, being a murdoch paper, is much more tabloidy and less solid than people realise. the australian has the formerly-deserved reputation of being the most high-brow, generalist paper available in melbourne, which i think is bunkum. it's getting more low-brow by the day. look at their selection of images, and their use of headlines and you'll see what i mean.

i couldn't read the article in full, i was already feeling the pain. then i turned the page, and there's an article about a school reference book which contains text about state-sponsored or organised terrorism, with mention of the united states and israel amongst several other nations. and about how the government is demanding it be withdrawn from schools.

if this isn't attempted censorship, then what is?

if this isn't evidence that our government, like all governments around the world, is trying to creating its own history by taking certain perspectives, and by doing this, manipulating us, then what is?

i just had to leave the paper. i can't stand it. i just can't stand it. that people either can't see it, or just cry conspiracy theory when you try to talk about this sort of stuff.

does anyone share my brain ache about all this?

where were you when...?

for me there are three specific events that define the origins of my internet use.

the first time i think i ever went online was using my dad's laptop when he was away overseas. this must have been around 1997 or something.

i don't have any memory of email or the internet before sitting in my mother's kitchen while staying there when princess was a baby and we'd just come back from overseas, with the phone cord plugged into the laptop. i would cruise around, checking stuff out. i remember the search engine of choice was alta vista i think, and i remember i had madonna's ray of light playing in the computer at the same time. to me, this was the ultimate techological sophistication. i remember going into a chat-room associated with dad's isp, i can't remember the name* i remember there were these chat-rooms with different names, like hot-tub and barstool. in one of these rooms i watched someone do a strip-show. even though there were no visuals, it was so erotic and the atmosphere was so charged. i felt like i was peeping at someone, and i backed out of there, heart thumping.

the next lot of internet use was around the monica lewinsky scandal. by this time, i had an office set up. i was doing freelance work at home, and spending hours and hours at night playing games such as harry the handsome executive** and warcraft which my brother had put me onto. i also read for hours and hours about monica and bill.

also around this time i read an article about jonbenet ramsay, a 6-year old "beauty queen" who had been found murdered in her family home basement, on boxing day 1996. her father found her, there was a ransom note demanding $118,000. because the father, john, had found her and carried her up out of the basement to where the police were searching other areas of the house, much forensic evidence was destroyed. rumours began, and people thought the parents had done it, either separately or together. or that the older son had. or that blah de blah had done it.

occasionally over the years i would google jonbenet to see what there was to read. amazing conspiracy theories.

which have been put to rest today, i guess, as i see a man has been arrested in thailand. this man is a teacher, who said that he loved jonbenet and her death was an accident.

a thai policeman is quoted as saying:

they fell in love with each other... so he kidnapped her and killed her by accident.

this sentence is so, so wrong. they fell in love with each other? excuse me, at 6 years old, little girls fall in love with kittens and puppies and the colour pink. they have probably fallen in love with their daddies around the age of 2. they do not fall in love with 31 year old men.

the saddest thing about this is jonbenet's mother, patsy, died of cancer 2 months ago.

things like this freak me out. last night i had a conversation with princess on the edge of her bed about how she says she is scared someone is going to come into the house and hurt her. she said she felt very safe when we moved in here, and she doesn't know why lately she's been scared. she told me she had a dream about her cousins being in a toilet and a man hiding behind the door, wanting to hurt them. i told her it was clear to me that she has been upset by what happened to the girl in perth, in the shopping centre toilet.

what do i say to a 9 year old who is the same age as a girl who was raped and murdered in the space of ten minutes in a shopping centre in our own country? not somewhere overseas. then at least i could consider a lie, and say "that wouldn't happen here."

how do i reassure her, when i myself worry about these things happening too? how do i respond when she asks me whether it would be better to scream, or to try and run away, or to play stupid, or to pretend to be asleep if someone comes into her room? or to fight.

i don't think i could fight a man, mummy.

so i try to tell her about the flight or fight instinct. we talk about david***, and how she's seen him talk about animals running away or fighting. i tell her she's smart and she would work out what to do. as i'm saying this, i'm wondering whether i should be telling her not to worry. am i indulging her by responding? am i feeding her fear, making it credible by not cutting her off and saying "don't be ridiculous. nothing's going to happen to you"? because that's a lie, i can't guarantee that nothing will happen to her during her life? how can a parent say that?

so i tell her i don't think she needs to worry about this. that i don't know anyone who this has happened to. that she is safe safe safe in our house, with john and me to take care of her. i tell her that bad things can happen in life, but we can't worry about them too much. like granny getting cancer. you deal with it. like mum and dad getting divorced. things work out.

then i tell her the best place to kick a man is in his private parts. she laughs, incredulously and tells me about a boy at school accidentally banging himself there and rolling on the ground.

the scary mood is broken and we smile as we acknowledge the male vulnerability.

and then today i pick up the paper and see the story on jonbenet. i will be making sure it's not lying around for the kids to see. she doesn't need to know that some crazy fuck somehow brooke into a little girl's house and raped her and murdered her. even if it did happen almost ten years ago.



* what are some names of early ISPs in australia other than bigpong. it wasn't those fucks. something with "super" in it i think.

** can someone please validate me here. has anyone else seen this piece of superb gaming?

*** david attenbrough, whose docos have been, and continue to be, a staple of princess' life education.

the underpant poll - results

this is a non-discriminatory blog. it is not the author’s wish to pathologise in any way the underpant-wearing conventions of the readers. some participants indicated they felt “abnormal” for wearing underpants to bed. if you feel that you, or a loved one, may be distressed by this, please seek professional help.


Abstract
The intention of this research project was to investigate the underpant-wearing conventions of a sample of bloggers, with specific reference to their bed-time attire. The genesis of this study lies in a conversation which the researcher was involved in a couple of weeks ago, where she was challenged by others present; simply that not wearing underpants to bed was somehow not the normal thing to do. The discussion was initiated after the researcher laughed at the idea of someone wearing underpants under pyjamas, which was met with howls of “of course, that’s what you do! you HAVE to wear underpants underneath your py-JAMAS!”

As the challengers were catholics, and all came from the same family, this researcher decided to take the question to a wider group of people. Participants were asked to volunteer information on two questions:

1. whether they wear underpants to bed

2. what religion they are

Data were collected in the form of comments, and using qualitative methods (Miles & Huberman, 2000), were analysed in an attempt to tease out themes and patterns. A visual data matrix was constructed* which enabled these themes to be cross-referenced, so that conclusions could be drawn.

Participants
The size of the sample group was 53 participants including glenn’s wife.

Results
After careful analysis** of the data volunteered by the 53 participants, several statements can be made. It is important to note that the researcher has made some assumptions, which she will defend if readers wish to criticise. Following is the major assumption:

- citing that you wear undies to bed with a t-shirt if you are a girl does not count as wearing undies to bed. This researcher feels that while technically this sort of answer would be included in the “affirmative undie-wearing” class of respondents, in this case the underpant has become something other than underwear. It has become like shorts, or similar. In this way, the researcher has chosen to count as primary “affirmative undie-wearing” data only those participants who explicitly state that they wear undies under pyjamas. Secondary “affirmative undie-wearing data” includes people who wear undies under nighties, as distinct again from people who wear undies with a t or another top.


31 people stressed they wore no undies to bed. Of these, some said they would occasionally wear undies, if at someone else’s house.

15 people said they wore undies, this ranged from wearing them under pjs, to just wearing undies (mostly men), or wearing undies with a t-shirt (5 people)

Of the undie-wearers, several (3) emphasised the underwear was clean.


"when you’re on your ladytime"

I had trouble deciding whether the above quotation, or “when the painters are in”, was the more delightfully quaint euphemism for menstruation. Nevertheless, 6 respondents specified that while they were non-undie wearing sleepers, they would wear undies when they had their periods.


the converts

There were three stated converts, who have moved from undie-wearing at night-time, to not. Cuntman shared with us a story of how he slept with undies under pjs until a somewhat traumatic caravan holiday he had with friends. The 8-year-old was deemed “wrongheaded” by his friend’s family who then “made” him do the “nocturnal freeballing”. Cuntman is, however, glad they did. Now he would prefer to sleep naked, but kids in the bed make this difficult.

Another convert who also said she was glad she had changed her ways was michellesarah, who stated that she used to wear pjs with undies, but recently did a similar poll amongst friends, realised she was “abnormal” (michellesarah’s own words”, and changed. As michellesarah said:

“feel much better for it, actually. Shits got time to BREATHE. I wear baggy PJ pants. Yo!”

Clokeeey was another participant who also stated he used to wear undies under pjs but recently has changed this practice. He offers no indication of whether this has been a positive experience, or indeed whether the choice was fully made by him.

“a good airing”

Finally, one theme that emerged from this study was that mothers had told their daughters to not wear underpants to bed, as they needed (presumably) to air their vulvas. Some cited that it’s the “most hygienic option” while others (6) came right out and stated that they don’t wear underpants to bed because they need to air “down there” and specifically, their mothers had told them that. Anne Altman was perhaps the most evangelical about this issue, saying:

“[you’re] not supposed to wear underpants to bed”

“shit’s gotsta breathe”

Anne even invokes jesus, saying “no doubt jesus didn’t wear underpants to bed.”


Interesting anomalies, further research ideas
- some people indicated that undie wearing was connected to whether a person was a morning or evening showerer.

- the issue of hygiene was raised by a couple of undie-wearers, which directly contradicts the non-undie wearers following mother-advice.

- yublocka shared that she has a kind of underpant-demotion system, where once day-time undies get a bit ratty, they move into the job of night-time underpant and then eventually get thrown away. it would be interesting to see whether this featured in any other participants’ selection systems.

- dj stated that even when he was a child, he would take off his clothes in bed “seconds after” he was tucked in by his parents. it would be interesting to explore whether patterns were set early on, whether they have changed over time, and what factors have influenced any conventions.

- the man at the pub stated that while he had a “no undie wearing in bed” policy in his household, for lovemaking reasons, “oddly, a warm jumper is acceptable on a chilly night”. interestingly, delightfuljen also stated sometimes wearing a jumper to bed. is this a trend?

- nailpolishblues stated that “at the most – socks” were worn. it would be interesting to do a follow-up study on socks in bed.



Conclusion
The religion aspect of this study quickly became irrelevant. Anecdotally, there seems to be no evidence to support my original hypothesis that catholics would be more likely to wear underpants under their pyjamas. Thanks to everyone who shared about their religious connections.

Postnote
The weird coincidence that I mentioned a couple of days ago is this. Someone told me that at their work-place, people had been discussing this issue: ie, wearing underpants to bed or not. This was kind of freaky, and I wondered whether it was someone who’d read this blog, making their own little poll. I’ve never heard of a blog bleeding into real life in that way.





* this is a lie.

** this is also a bit of a lie. But the results speak for themselves.

only four to go

thanks to everyone who has contributed to the poll on whether people wear their underwear to bed. i am busily working through all the data while john watches the footy. i still need, however, FOUR more participants. then i will have my even 50, an ample sample.

the next post to follow will not be a comment on the dog that ravaged teddy bears, nor on the fucked-upness of lebanon and israel. it won't be a piece on the racist-tool quotient of mel gibson, nor will it contain any narrative on how much i want to EAT A FUCKING BANANA!

it will be all about the poll. who wears what and why. i will try to draw some conclusions, and answer any questions that people have had about the origins of the study. plus something interesting, and perhaps not so coincidental, that happened during the week, relating to the study.

so four more people. to please say whether you ordinarily wear underpants to bed. and in what manner. or not.

i'm waiting on another 20 or so pollsters to kindly leave their comment on my undie poll below

but in the meantime, evidence the world has gone crazy.

i didn't even know this existed, until now.

what's your blog worth on the "fantasy blog stock market"

http://blogshares.com/blogs.php?blog=http%3A%2F%2Fmelbgirltakeonthings.blogspot.com%2F




also i really really want to buy the red espadrilles from husk. just looking at them makes me feel summer is on the way.

friday poll - I NEED HELP (please)

last night, i found myself in a conversation where i was outnumbered, four to one, on the following question:



do you wear your underwear to bed?


this means, explicitly, do you keep on your underpants in bed, either under pyjama bottoms, or a nightie. or do you take them off, and then put on your pyjama pants or nightie, or whatever.

now, i don't, as a rule, wear my undies to bed. by the end of the day, they need to be in the dirty linen basket. but the people i was with all most strenuously and loudly argued the undies have to stay on.

men and women.

catholics all.

i would like to know what readers think about this. if i can get 50 people to tell me their position on this question, next time i see these people i can either validate them, or myself. if possible, i would like to be able to group results, ie if you can indicate basically what you wear to bed, varieties if any. and also, if you wouldn't mind, an indication of whether you are catholic or not.

is that too much to ask? forget the religion bit if it offends thee.

and i promise i'm not a pervert. i'm just curious. and a compulsive researcher.

have a great weekend.

* i thought maybe they've been trained to keep as many layers of fabric between themselves and their hands at all times. whereas, in my family, non-practising church of englanders, anglicans now? my parents walked around in the nude, well from shower to bedroom. there was no coyness. to the point where one of my childhood gags with the kids down the street was to mimic my dad and his swinging penis. the penis was simulated first with fingers, then with a ruler until finally the joke got out of control and i remember doing the dad walk with a rake swinging from side to side. of course, there was a silly noise that went with this visual. kind of a duh-duh-duh in time to the swinging movement. i hasten to add the neighbours never SAW dad's nude walk, as performed by him; but it was my duty to reveal all sorts of secret-family business to my friends. what is princess telling her friends about me? actually, i was reading her homework book and she was putting words in sentences. this was one of her sentences:

smooth. My dad's hair is soft and smooth but my mum's hair isn't.

so don't tell me i'm not connected here, that i'm living an inauthentic life. repeat after me, yes i am authentic, yes we are authentic.

I resent the shallowness of the critics who say that if you sit in front of a computer and participate in online conversations worldwide you are not leading an authentic life. I question the premise that one person can judge the authenticity of another person's life. Millions of people passively watch television all day long. Don't tell me that having an email relationship with someone on the other side of the world is less authentic than sitting alone and watching the tube. For many people, this new medium is a way of breaking out of the virtual world they already live in. [Howard Rheingold]

you go, howard. that's all i can say.

two more people

i have been mulling over sublime-ation all week. it has bothered me that i couldn't think of a suitable and pleasing (to me) image of her in my head.

something came to me tonight as i drove across town. i was seeing mirka mora, but the young mirka, standing outside her apartment in collins street in the 1950s. she looks such a parisienne and so so exotic in staid old melbourne.








this is a shot from the time, the opening of her cafe/restaurant with her husband georges. you can see her just to the left of the window, with hand up to face.









but i couldn't find the shot i wanted.

so this will have to do. the sophia:









now i am happy, at peace, at rest. i hope sublime is too.






i'm still working on bevis. another elusive person, bevis. i wasn't happy with macaulay, and perhaps he wasn't either as he hasn't been by to comment. i doubt this will be any better but i'm trying to visualise him going on the fairly detailed pointers he has given.

forgive me bevis, if this annoys you. you know i love you.

copy-cat from ballarat

this is where i put in photos of people who i think represent you in some way. note the words "some way". this is like a disclaimer where i then have redress when you complain or disagree.
i am not writing it in red. i am just putting it here, so you read it almost by accident...

like bevis said, don't take it personally, it's just a bit of fun.

and don't think this is necessarily exactly how i see you, and it's not necessarily about looks.

for some of you it's impossible to visualise anything other than your bio pic thingies. but i've done my best. i have to say for some reason sublime-ation was the hardest to do. i am still thinking about her. or you. sorry sublime. it's something about your name i think.

oh, and i've also chosen actors, or celebrities, to make it something a little different.



first up is myself. because i'm an incredibly complex character, and none of you are, i am a hybrid of the following:




i wear specs like janeane, but mine are nicer. elaine is fairly close and she has big hair too, and i turn into uma once a month. you work it out.





princess gets two:





a beautiful blend of taylor's looks and hermione's brains.




gianluca di milano


or



i can't quite decide. still thinking about it.





gregory surlyboy




surly. hope this dude is bad enough for you. i believe he has a big one?





ms fits



i'm fairly certain bevis was onto something with the plaits for ms fits.





clokey

i think these two are inter-changeable.

capey

or perhaps this one for clokey?





elaine



i think i know what elaine looks like, but not really.




locket




i can't get audrey out of my head for locket, so this is someone else gamine and cute.




cotton





cotton is vulnerable and cagey at the same time. but very sweet and lovely.




bevis






i had much trouble seeing bevis as anything other than a little green frog




ladycracker






i know lc likes liv. plus i also know how lc looks.




tuppence





i'm seeing those cute little bags under the eyes for tuppence that selma has. don't ask why, i just am. they are really adorable.




anna a spades




i see anna with dark hair but think she would dress like chloe. for some reason. or have the chloe attitude.



roguemaze




luckily rm is away en ce moment so won't get pissed off when he sees this. this i believe to be the closest of all my pictures.



he should just be glad i didn't use this pic:





[laughs and wets pants]




chai

chai was hard but i think this fits. i loved astro boy when i was a kid.

aleks





aleks is also mia so hopefully won't rise like the phoenix to correct me about why he isn't like che. wrong political persuasion, wrong angle on the beret, i'm sure.





magical_m






not sure where this came from. call it a gut feeling. isn't she cute?





fluffy





i know what fluffy looks like too, so this is more of an attitude pic. and the cat thing. geddit? but squeaky instead of fluffy.






la nadine













not really scarlett per se i'm talking about here.
boy they take up space. but aren't they just the best baps around?

la's i mean.





dxxxx







i've met dxxxx and she struck me as a cool rock chick.




darcy





darcy is kick-arse with her lemon trees, gardening commitments, pet ownership and auditions. 'nuff said.