Hello one and all

This is seriously about the third time I have tried to post. It just wasn't freaking working. And now it is again. So. A quick update.
Yes I have changed my profile pic. And my 'handle' back to MG.
This is because:
a. it was time for a change
b. mean people on facebook might find me and be mean.
I know this sounds ridiculous and it is but hey. I've got to move with the times.
So what'cha reading? I'm battling through The Book of Rachael by Leslie Cannold and my feeling is that a brilliant idea has been wasted. It's a good effort though I suppose.
Last night I went to see Gail Dines talk at Melbourne Uni.
Gail Dines is the anti-porn crusader who needs a spandex suit of her own such is her fight against the pornification of society. She has written a book called 'Pornland' and in it she dissects the industry and the damage. And when she talks about porn she's not talking about what is now seen as 'porn lite' (ie simple images of people having sex, what people over 30 think of as porn, you know, pool cleaner-moustache-'70s bush) she is talking about 'body punishing' extreme stuff, like multiple penetrations, double anal, fellatio so rigorous to make the woman gag and even vomit (there are fetish sites catering to this shit) and worse. It's all there with a click of a button and kids are curious and they are looking at it. At work, we heard the story of a boy, 15 or 16, had his first sexual experience and thought he had to do anal, oral and vaginal sex all on the first time. There are kids out there watching this stuff before they have even kissed someone else.
Is this wowserism? She doesn't talk about censorship or banning. She talks about exposing the machine, the capitalist machine, that is behind porn and the pornification of society. She talks about education and exposing this stuff for the skewed respresentation of sex that it is.
So much good stuff last night, so much interesting stuff in the book. Not for the fainthearted but if you have kids, this is something you will need to talk to them about. She told her teenage son 'if you are going to look at porn, you need to know you will be handing over the development of your sexuality to this industry. Scary stuff.
Wow this was going to be a light catch up. To bed now.
Stay warm.

Sunday update

Hello all


Had a computer crisis last night seemed like it was dead but luckily, and thanks to Clokey, it resurrected. I had backed up all important stuff, so would have survived if it didn't rise like the Phoenix today. But it has. So that has to be good. You'll also notice I've changed my profile pic and name (back to MG.) This is just because I was a little nervous about trolls finding my peaceful little plot here. Also I'm considering making an effort to be a little more writerly here. I've done the social commentary in the past, and the news articles and politics, world events etc. but at the moment I am not interested in any (or many) of those things and it's All Things Writing.


When I started this blog back in, when was it, 2005?? Egads. It was a general, broad survey of all that interested me. This has narrowed down to a virtual pinpoint. I'm not interested any more, or at the moment, in many things. So I am going to indulge myself, and hopefully not lose any of the people who are kind enough to swing by, and follow my heart. Which is books, more books. Literary analysis and critique. Book reviews. Stuff about writers. Stuff about me and my process.

I intend to build another blogroll; I haven't had one for years. Not quite sure why I got rid of it, I think it was because seeing it made me think I had to do the rounds, and visit them all and read. It was far too time consuming. What I would like to do now, though, is make a roll of blogs and spots which fit into my new parameters. Slowly, slowly.


I'll keep up with the diaries though, as planned to 31/12/89. There's a lot to come.

Today, I'm going to see Water for Elephants with Princess, or she's coming with me. She wasn't that keen (she wants to see the new one with Gynnifer Goodwin (sp?) and Kate Hudson but I told her I need to see the elephant one, for research purposes. I had read one good review, then one bad one, then someone told me Margaret P said it was good, captivating from first minute to last and Miss Reece's best role? So, that's enough for me. It has a circus in it. Also enough for me.

Speaking of circuses (circii?) there is a new book out by Mark St Leon, on the history of Australian circuses. Don't have the title to hand, but I clipped the article in the paper last weekend. Suffice to say, I will be buying it this week.


Mum still hasn't bought a place yet, but there is one that we LOVE and I hope she gets it. She has to move out of her place in a couple of weeks, and go and stay with my sis. We shall survive the pain. If anyone had told us ten years ago that in 2011 our mum would be selling her flat, boxing up all her stuff, putting it in storage and buying a new place, we would have been seriously doubtful. If anyone had told us that in the last ten years she would have had THREE overseas trips (plus another to come this year, family holiday to Bali yayyyyyy) then we would have said 'tell them they're dreamin'.'

But if anyone had told us she would have a gentleman caller who would infuse her with energy and delight, we would have said 'you are seriously fucked, fuck off.'

Life is extraordinary and there to be embraced.


A dear friend of mine had a dreadful year last year, with cancer. She too has done amazing things since. She gave me a copy of the affirmations she is doing and which have helped not only her, but her brother and sister as well (they were having rough times, no luck etc.) I don't care what anyone says about this being woo-woo. The power of positive thinking cannot be underestimated.

I can't find the piece of paper though, so I can't transcribe them here. Will do when they come to hand again.


Happy Sunday to you.

Hello! Is there anybody out there?

I return shame-faced to my much-neglected little plot. I have tried to post a couple of times but became frustrated by blogger not uploading pics or videos or whatever, and so have sworn and closed down the screen.

But also, I confess, I have been unfaithful to blogger and any remaining readers (all two of you?) by becoming embroiled in a couple of facebook pages, on a particular social issue. For the first time I have seen trolling, and been abused, and threatened by faceless peeps who are really very nasty. It's all winding down though, and I have just spent some minutes going through some of my old booky posts and thinking to myself 'oh it's really just so much more urbane and pleasant over here.'

So I henceforth vow to crank up the old engine and get going once more over here.

To kick-start, I have been reading as usual:

Under the Knife, Andrea Goldsmith. Am enjoying it heaps.

The Low Road, Chris Womersley (half way through this one, it's ok, don't love it like I loved Bereft, short-listed for the Miles Franklin. Hope it wins.)

The Book of Rachael, Leslie Cannold. (Half way through, it's interesting but not my usual read.)

Vampire Academy series - 6 books, as part of keeping up with Princess's reading world

How Fiction Works, James Wood

To read: 1915, Roger McxDonald (who wrote one of the other shortlisted M Franklin books, When Colts Ran. I also have that, haven't read it yet.)

Faulks on Fiction

Utopian Man, Lisa Lang

The Paris Wife, Paula McLain.

For research: Gallipoli, Les Carlyon.

*

My writing is going well. Have just made more revisions to MS #1. it's with an agent at the moment, who has had it for ages, but she is doing me and the person who recommended me to her a favour so I have to be patient but it's hard.

MS #2 I am writing sporadically but mainly researching/reading, thinking a lot. It's kind of formed in my mind (a new and strange experience) but I'm not rushing to get it out. Slowly slowly. It will take a long time to finish this one I think.

*

The family is all fine. We had a fairly awesome Good Friday yesterday and I'm thinking it needs to become a regular thing that we - have brunch all together at the table, take the dog to the park, play a boardgame all together, eat take away food (Indian last night, but could be Chinese next year) and then watch Life of Brian. Again.

*

Let me know your news.

All good if a little quiet

I've been busy and things have been distracting me, not the least Kurt and Blaine from Glee.

What a wonderful scene when they kissed on Monday night's show.

I'm having blogger trouble with uploading videos; haven't the time or inclination to update my technology to allow this and my IT guy is never around. Or if he is, he's watching tv or doing his own tech blah de blah thangs.

Otherwise things are ok. Yep busy. But yep good.

What news have you? I'm feeling out of touch.

Bloody hell

Oh, Japan now?

I have friends in Osaka, so they are ok but in-laws via my bro in Tokyo. Don't have any news yet.

What the fuck is going on?

My kids are the tsunami-generation. Hell they are the Disaster Generation. Forget Y or whatever they are up to.

It's just too awful to really contemplate for too long. Sorry, I have disaster-fatigue.

*

In other news, it's the long weekend (yay) and it's a nice day (also yay) and the long-running movie education of Princess is now entering the Horror Genre. We are about ready to head off to the video store, this is the list (we won't get all these...):

Silence of the Lambs - I know it's R but it's a good movie and I might pre-watch again (ages since I've seen it) then could maybe struggle through it again with her. We shall see. I don't want to break my no-R-ratings for another couple of years... But if we are to break it, shouldn't it be for Leo in Basketball Diaries rather than Ant Hopkins in SOTL?

The Omen - CLASSIC and she must watch it.

The Exorcist - another R rating that I won't let her watch but I wouldn't mind revisiting myself.

Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street

And then a few I've not seen or even heard of that she has heard of:

2012
Zombieland
Orphan

And then Clokes said The Vanishing is very scary. I think I've seen it and if it's the one I'm thinking of, not so?? But can revisit.

Last night we watched Sixth Sense and The Shining. She thought The Shining was funny/piss weak. Loved the Sixth Sense.

*

I am planning to work on my project this weekend, amongst horror movies. It's not a genre I love but she seems to be curious so rather than leaving her alone with it I am happy to watch them with her. She is particularly interested in Wolf Creek and I have said no. In fact, Wolf Creek was the last contemporary horror movie I saw; it completely put me off the genre. The Ring I couldn't watch with the sound up and without fast forwarding then rewinding and Blair Witch I watched from behind a cushion with the sound down. I am pretty wimpy when it comes to horror.

Enjoy the long weekend.

Good news

Gathered my cowardly guts together and called my NZ friend's sister who lives in Melbourne. They are all fine but it was a teary moment to hear a native Christchurch girl talking about her city; she sounded exhausted.
So it's a relief for me and us but still so terrible for so many.
*
In an effort to cheer myself up, I've been watching An Idiot Abroad, Ricky Gervais's new show. I must admit to a new-found appreciation for Mr Gervais after a fairly long hiatus (mine, not his.)
I don't know that I would call Karl Pilkington an idiot but the series is certainly amusing, interesting and Ricky's laugh is the most outrageous - in a top 3 ever heard during my lifetime, but I still wouldn't place it at Number 1.
After the Golden Globes scandal I googled around looking for stuff on him, and found the series, as well as The Ricky Gervais Show, which is a series of podcasts he, Stephen Merchant (co-writer on The Office and Extras) and Karl P, then with a cartoon created to overlay it.
If I may, I'd suggest you watch some of the podcasts first, then Idiot. That way you'll get a good intro to the character that is Karl Pilkington, as well as the dynamic between the three of them (basically Ricky and Stephen just want to laugh at Karl.)
Oh and Oscars tomorrow night. Can't wait.

Worried. Waiting.

I have dear friends in Christchurch, and the place they live is Spreydon which also comes up as Canterbury on maps, and Cashmere. These a suburbs that also are being mentioned in the news.

I've emailed her and hope to hear back soon. I'm too scared to call her sister who lives here in Melbourne.

I can't believe she and I were in the 1999 Istanbul quake together where 20,000+ died.
It must be so terrifying for them.

AOF I hope all your people are ok. You haven't anything on your blog.

Thinking of everyone who needs someone to think about them right now, and feeling damn hopeless.

Off to the mountains

We are leaving now for the mountains to go to a wedding tomorrow.

Funny thing is, I am on wifely strike. Have been since Monday and I don't think he knows what's going on, other than I am a bit moody.

I haven't cooked anything since then, I haven't washed his clothes, I have been doing things like he does (leaving things out on the bench, water cups around the place, my shoes here and there.) I've been doing things for the kids but not for him. (Apart from the cooking. I had to explain to Princess that it's not permament, just until he realises something and makes one teeny, tiny change. Then I'll go back to normal.)

My mum is coming to look after the brood and I have cooked some cauliflower soup to leave and there's bolognaise sauce in the fridge from Monday night. That bolognaise sauce was the catalyst for the strike, I might explain later but for now, let me away to a four-hour silent and tense car journey.

Methinks I'll try and read but then I'll feel sick.

Back Sunday night. Have a good weekend all.

Bliss turns to disappointment

Is the universe telling me something?
So I was really excited to take delivery of a package from overseas this morning.
Behold:

Is it not the most beautiful watch you've ever seen? I don't wear a watch, haven't done for many years and haven't mostly for my whole life.
But when I saw this in one of those glossy magazines at the hairdresser, I thought oh watch, you will be mine.
Came home. Jumped on the Internette. Ordered. Rubbed my hands together.
That was only a week ago. Today it arrived. Special wrapping. A big box, a ribbon. Two ribbons actuelement. Inside, tissue paper so beautifully folded. Inside that scrunched tissue paper, to make a nest and in the middle of that nest, the watch box. In that, the yellow beauty on a little pillow. All so divine.
I gasped. I noticed a tag on it saying 'Cannot be returned if this tag has been removed.' Thought to myself check it before removing tag.
Checked the watch and one of the plastic links in the band is busted. Cracked on one side, and with a chip out of it on the other.
NOOOOOOOOOO.
At least their return policy is solid and they even include a pre-paid DHL docket for you to send it back.
SO with a heavy heart, the watch goes back to London-Town. And they send me another.
It had better be fucking perfect.
Look at it again. Look how beautiful.

Turkey September 2010

view top balcony

my favourite hill

day boat trip

Kas 13.9.10

Woken at 6.15am by call to prayer. So beautiful, so sublime. And close. Are we on God's own mountain? Surely this is Eden, or Nirvana or Paradise. Or whichever place you want to call it.

Ali's house is a masterpiece, a work of art constructed, realised (I see) through sheer incredible creativity and single-minded persistence.

It stands three storeys tall. Made out of wooden boards on the floors and ceiling, huge cut round logs from the forest, stained brown. Big chunks of sandstone, the boulders placed as a wall with cement in between to hold it all together. Tiles. Marble surfaces. Windows that are huge and breezy. One tower (the Resi Tower) has no internal staircase, it's like a crazy Aspen ski lodge with huge rooms on each level. There's a central external staircase, wrought iron with balastrades. The other tower (house) has kitchen on the ground floor, Ali's room on the top and a lounge in the middle. Huge open fireplaces.

Two kittens appeared out of the night when we went down there before bed. Princess was to dream of a name for the white one last night.

*

Now, later in the evening. Princess is across the way, falling asleep on the floor with her nene (Turkish grandmother), 'watching' the news. They had an election yesterday and Meyve (nene) was calling Erdogan a dog.

Today we went out on a boat. Princess had cake for her birthday. We swam, had a gorgeous lunch. It got windy, poor Meyve got sea-sick and had to lie down and couldn't eat anything. It's amazing how (Son #3) is like her personal attendant. Also Son #4 and Ali as well (Son #2). Princess said it has been strange to see her dad laughing with his brothers. I've always liked #3 - he's the most normal of them all perhaps.

Meyve is the same as always. It's like no time has passed. We have 'talked' about all the children and grandchildren, she gave Princess a lovely gold blue eye necklace for her birthday.

Ali is still at work (?). Not sure about dinner but he said we'd have another celebration tonight because his mum was so sick on the boat. She's 62 which means she was 42 when I first met her. Younger than I am now and already with married adult children.

*

Woken this morning by call to prayer, then I could hear roosters, dogs and some sort of bell (goats?) And a single, sudden loud moo.

*

There's a woman beating a tree with a stick to make the almonds fall. The goats came running from another area along the road and she talked to them.

*

Driving in the car last night from Antalya (airport) to Kas. Hurtling. Getting out of Antalya, Ali was driving CRAZY. Almost missed the turnoff, screeched the tyres as we made the corner.

*

Son #3's name translates to Sky King. I feel sorry for him, he has to spend all his time with her.

He's trapped. He's 35. He's nice but she treats him like a wife. We are eating, he's in the kitchen doing the dishes. Preparing the meal. My god.

*

Princess got sunburned today. She is regretful. Might teach her a lesson. Not that it's ok to let her burn but there was attitude when I tried to tell her to put cream on. She has picked up on how the family (ie Meyve) sound like they are angry and arguing even when they are just talking.

*

There's a sheep's head in the fridge. It's still got its teeth in.

*

Tues 14/8/10

What was going to be a quiet day, ie just hanging around the villa didn't happen. Maybe tomorrow? We got up early. I woke again before 6am for toilet, then mosque call to prayer. Then sunrise. Mum gave me her torch to read with. Princess woke, we read some Hercule...

Then down to breakfast. Made fruit salad, bread and honey (honeycomb the others bought from the side of the road while they were driving here). Coffee.

Had a swim. Moved mum into downstairs room. Looks great. Ali and Princess rigged up a reading light for mum out of an old wooden milk churn.

Went to town. Sat in the shop. Went to supermarket, bakery and fruit and veg shop. Went to lunch me, Ali, Princess and mum. Had manti (Turkish ravioli) and the best dessert - kadifye. So delicious.

Ali and #3 are making something (a table?). We have a mosquito net for tonight (not up yet). We are having kofte for dinner.

I want a few days of just being here - doing nothing, going nowhere. Just swimming, resting and enjoying this fantastic place. What a house, it is simply amazing

There's talk of Meyve and #3 going to #4's flat because she wants to watch tv and Ali's tv is on the 3rd floor. 'Hard for anyone to look after her there.' That is, I guess, carry food to her and cold water.

She does nothing. Hasn't yet. Sits at the table when ready to eat and people bring her things and wait on her. She cracked a few almonds today for mum and Princess. We are sitting with her, spending time with her but communication is hard so often it's just silence (and her Turkish is mixed with Arabic and with a heavy accent so it's hard for me to follow her.)

*

Thurs 16.9.10

8am. Rejigged mosquito net last night, it worked well but my old bites are re-itching. Princess still asleep, all is quiet outside except for the roosters and occasional dogs. No people bashing the almond trees like yesterday morning. At 7am yesterday there were loud voices and a woman was right in the middle of the tree just outside our front door. I could see her through the window near our bathroom.

We got up, had breakfast, Meyve already sitting in place downstairs. The night before there'd seemed to be an argument/fight between her and #3? Or a 'situation.' Loud talking (different to the usual loud talking). In the morning, he didn't appear until later and told me he was going into Kas and did I need anything. I asked for rice and bread. He said he wouldn't come back until the evening I said that was okay. Then after Meyve said she didn't know where #3 was, I said he'd gone to Kas. She spent some time on the outside platform and mum sat there too. I took mum a breakfast plate and they 'chatted.'

A bit later #3 and #4 turned up, sat a while. We took some photos then they all went out somewhere, to another village to visit #4's friends. Mum had commented on Meyve's headscarf - a pretty, handmade floral cotton scarf with edging in delicate lace flowers. Beautiful. Meyve gave it to her. Said she had many back home, mum was so thrilled, it was a gorgeous moment.

We swam and sunbaked. It's so beautiful in the pool. Ali came around 6pm bringing chicken and showed me how to start the BBQ with a gas flame thrower! We made salad, rice and had a nice meal just me, mum and Princess.

The white cat has a name now. First she was Pamuk (means 'cotton') then Eylul (September) and now Ayse. She has a little nazar boncuk (blue eye) collar and two bowls for water and food. P is feeding her, she's a sweet and very affectionate kittne. Some other cats hang araound but we only like Ayse.

*

Meyve and #3 kept saying they were scared in this house - it was too big and empty of people for them. I think mum's a bit nervous but we can lock our doors so it's fine. Not sure where the keys are for the front door though, I was unable to lock the middle section door to the stairs. I had a snooze yesterday afternoon which was nice, and P taught mum scopa (Italian card game.)

*

Fri 17.9.10

The worker from the shop just arrived and carried in a plate of rice pudding. We (me and P) are sitting downstairs outside at the table platform. The guy put the pudding down and is now leaving.

As P said, he drove all that way to deliver us rice pudding.

Yesterday at the shop we were ready to leave. Ali tried to push me into driving the Jeep. I said no and had to repeat it a few times. Finally #4 drove us but I don't think he was too happy about it.

*

Sunday 19.9.10

We went and had a late lunch with Ali at a kebab place. It was hot yesterday we just wanted to swim. Ali again was saying why don't I want to drive the jeep. I told him I'm scared of heights - it's not the Jeep it's the high road and I might not be able to drive even a normal car. He accepted it and understood. There is a history with this Jeep.

Weird how I am developing such a phobia. Long time coming I guess? So #4 drove us back up the mountain. It's so fucking high in parts and the road pretty narrow. Either way we go, it's full on in parts.

*

Ali told me and P that he was having people over for a BBQ today. He had mentioned a barbecue the day before but I'd thought that was jus tus. He hadn't said anything about customers. So P and I tidied up and cleaned everywhere because he said he wanted to show people the house. They arrived, lovely people. One though mum was Ali's mother because she was wearing Meyve's scarf. It was a nice day, beautiful food, the best thing was stir fry chicken, rice and peppers, and Adana kebabs. Salad. Bread. Wine. Swimming. Even singing and clapping care of #4's friend as they sat on the platform by the pool.

*

It really is beautiful countryside here. Biblical. Rocky and dry with the almond trees a particular shade of green. Soft, lilting breezes and the sound of tonking goat bells.

Have I mentioned the hill I'm going to climb? There is a hill. I'm hoping with no fences but as there is a cluster of houses on the side I'm thinnking maybe no fence. Mentioned it to mum this morning and she said she doesn't want me climbing the hill by myself. But I do want to go by myself. I want to walk up it and sit there and look down. It is a very attractive hill.

*

4.30pm Sat 25.9.10

Princess upset this morning re cat situation. (Last night we even had a puppy come to visit. Just appeared from nowhere...) She and Ali are having a few difficulties as well with him wanting her to go to the beach with him and her saying ok but wanting to meet him there later. H drove the Jeep up here last night so that it would be here this morning for me to practise. The 'make practice' consisted of me driving back to the main road and along further up the mountain to the petrol station. Then I drove back again and that was enough to get me back in the saddle.

Driving home this afternoon there were goats on either side of part of the cliff road. Mum did very well, kept relaxed. It's a shuddering jalopy of a car.

*

Next morning now, 6.45am Monday. Call to prayer was so beautiful today. I want to tape it before we go.

Then the roosters started. And someone is now doing something with wood (building?) in a house quite a way away but the sound is carrying so it sounds like it's in our back garden.

Couldn't sleep well, the thing with Ali bothered me. Couldn't fall asleep, then didn't sleep well.

*

Now it's Wed 29.9.10

Peaceful house - empty house. Need to update from Monday.

The others went kayaking. Mum and I stayed here. Quite windy and overcast but still warm. The wind increased until around 2.30 - 3.00pm I was thinking 'gale force.' Upstairs I lay and read and wrote and the wind was keening. Amazing sound, made me think of the Mistral in the south of France.

*

Now it's 40 minutes later we are at the beach. There are loaves of bread along the shoreline, and chunks adrift in the water. Just went for a quick swim with P. Nice and cool and refreshing. The pool back at the house is a murky olive green. Ali hasn't chlorinated since just before P came. H and I brushed the sides yesterday but it's revolting today. I must get Ali to show me how to chlorinate and how to do the vacuum. Then I can do it every 2 or 3 days.

The night they went kayaking, we were getting dinner ready. Ali arrived with two people who he introduced as his friends from Istanbul. (A man and a woman.) He took them upstairs. They were up there a little while and we were all thinking different things (he's showing them the house, he's giving them something?) Then he came down and said they were staying the night, in his room, and that he would stay at #4's.

Fine, I said. Would they like to join us for dinner?

No, he said. They are shy.

Ok. So we carried on. Ate, played a game of Boggle. Went to bed around 9.30 or 10pm. Next morning they came down, had some breakfast. Then Mustafa got in his van to go to Kas and there was the sound of tyres spinning and then he came back saying there was a problem with his car and he'd called Ali and #4 was coming to help. #4 came and drank some tea then they got a tractor from somewhere to pull the car out. Meanwhile, I had tried to engage the woman, Nadia. She was unresponsive, I'm thinking 'she's pissed off, she's been brought to a house in a village and didn't know we'd be here.' Anyway, later once the car was out, Mustafa left and Nadia and me and P were in the lounge. We put on the tv, chatted a little. She warmed up. Found out she's from Uzbekistan, has been in Istanbul 5 years. They have a carpet shop in Sultanahmet. And they were on a driving tour to buy stock (Konya, Gazientep, Urfa, Mersin etc.) and then to Marmaris from here.

So then I asked if she wanted to play Okey (tile rummy.) She didn't know how to play but wanted to learn. So I taught her and it broke the ice, made good practice for P's Turkish.

Later, Pablo and I went on our walk up The Hill. It was a great walk, I loved it. I knew I would. The landscape was beautiful. Harsh, rubbly, very rocky. All the fencing was of stone, high in some places but lower in others so you could climb across. Dry plants including some tall, vertical flowers that I'd noticed but not really looked at. Rabbit droppings, and larger spoor - goats?

One paddock we walked through was littered with lots of rocks that looked like small heads. Volcanic rock? With holes for eyes, they were amazing. Pablo and I spent a little time choosing a rock to keep. I chose two and later let Princess take one. They are cool and kind of chalky and orangey. The colour of the soil was very red-orange, like Central Australia. Interesting. Dramatic. We walked in the direction of The Hill. Climbed about 1/2 way up, didn't think we had enough time to do the whole thing. It started to get more difficult and scrubby bushes made it hard to walk. We made our way back okay via what might have been an old, now-dry river bed with terraced steps downwards. The whole way Pablo walked carrying a bit of PVC piping from Ali's house 'in case we met bad dogs.'

On the way home we passed a house and two cats joined us. They walked with us like dogs. Back on the main road, some goats, we saw a dilapidated jeep, the cats were still with us. We picked some of the vertical flowers to take back. And I found and carried a big egg-shaped rock which I have put in Ali's garden.

H, mum and I had planned to go to Kas for dinner after the walk BUT Mustafa had arrived while we were on our walk. He had heaps of food and was going to cook for us.

We still went into town, he needed some onions and eggplant, we got wine, beer, sutlac and dondurma. We raced home before the ice cream melted.

Mustafa worked like a madman in the kitchen, cigarette dangling, drinking tea manically. He made Adana kebabs, eggplant and mince kebabs, salsa bowls, salad, chicken drumettes and wings, pide. Cooked in a frenzy on the BBQ, the cats launching themselves at the skewers laid out across an old wooden wheelbarrow. We had to lock Efer (small fearless black kitten) in our bathroom until after we'd eaten.

When Mustafa served it all out - by hand - he plated up a piece of bread, a line of 4 chicken pieces, portion of Adana kebab, cooked tomato and some onion. Amazingly delicious, like restaurant fare.

He had his Adana and other sis (skewers) in this amazing, metal rounded 'quiver' with a cap, like a silver poster tube but made of metal. It was beautiful.

SO we ate and then they went to bed. We had planned some Sound of Music hijinks but didn't do it. Pablo and I sat up a while singing 'the worst songs in the world'.

*

Woke early this morning to see off the others. Pablo gave his last spoon of breakfast yoghurt to Efer. (Efer was hilarious yesterday - wanted to go in the pool, went on the lilo, I put a towel down for his claws, they are so sharp!) The others left and shortly after Mustafa and Nadia went to leave.

How is the car? I said. All okay?

I hope, Mustafa said. Inshallah.

We laughed.

He went out to the car and backed it over the edge of the ditch again and it got stuck. As soon as I saw where it had ended up, I knew he couldn't drive for shit! He called Ali and came into the house telling me Ali said for me to drive the Jeep and pull him out. We tried that (mum being Mrs Jessop and peeping through the gaps in the pool fence.) We broke the rope and then a strap thing no way was it going to work.

I looked under his car, it was totally fucked. Huge rocks that we couldn't hope to move by hand, and THE CHASSIS WAS RESTING ON THEM. FLUSH. At least one of his tyres was spinning in the air but still...

So he went and got the same farmer and tractor. Came back, hurtling along the road. And it eventually pulled the van out but not before several failed attempts and me thinking the fucking tractor was going to flip and kill the farmer. Then we had to get a spade and fill the 2 big holes made by the tractor tyres spinning in the rubble of Ali's driveway (unsealed.) Finally they went with me waving goodbye, but not before he had almost driven the van off the driveway edge again and I had to stand behind him and direct him

*

So we're at the shop. P and Ali sitting in the front section having mercimek soup together just like they did when she was one and two and three. I've just had some here in the back. DELISH.

*

3.12pm Same day. Back at the villa. It's really windy, the lilo has blown over the pool fence twice so I've put it in the downstairs room. Little Efer is complaining about the wind but he'll be on his own in less than 2 weeks and Ali really doesn't like him so he probably will be even more on his own.

Got the tick out. Yay. Used dishwashing liquid on a cotton ball and it backed out, then I picked it up with tweezers. Ayse then had a green, soapy head. She was very good while we did it, Princess held her and patted her and it was quick and easy. Texted Ali NOT to get the tablet from the vet.

Wonder if it will rain. Hope so, pretty cool. Then it might be swimming weather tomorrow. Pool is being treated anyway today and we'll vac and swim tomorrow I hope.

So I'm upstairs on the bed. If it rains I have to get Ali's mattress in. It's outside airing. I've already brought his clothes horse in, it had fallen over up on his balcony and stuff was on the ground. I'm glad we didn't drive up in this weather. Too, too, too windy. We have leftovers for dinner, I'll make koftes, rice, we have chicken etc. Salad, salsa.

*

Saturday 2.10.10

Down at the shop, fan on, a little humid/warm but windy, overcast, looks like rain.

Ali was showing the house to the Californian Meditationiste. We were told to be out by 2.30pm and we can go back at 5pm. P is checking email, we just had coffees and some food at the square. Really nice food but the service awful. Brothers, one set of twins and a younger bro I reckon. He went to pick basil for the dishes and gave me a sprig on the way back past our table. They were checking P out but I claim him as my beau!

Ayse (cat) we think was/is on heat. Hence the 'wound' and bleeding. As P said: 'I don't think it's a wound, it's her vagina. One, it's in the middle, two, Cem [a third cat] was trying to mount her.'

Yesterday we swam in the morning. The pool is beautiful and crystal clear now. Went to Friday Market. Bought some food, some dvds, and fake designer t-shirts for Clokes. Ate gozleme, then #4 picked us up which was nice. Ate sardines and pasta last night, almost finished Lord Edgware Dies.

*

10.20pm Same day. We ended up playing OKEY in the shop. Me, mum, Princess and the worker (Eyup.) I was playing pretty badly, Eyup was correcting us and helping us on a couple of things with the game.

*

Now it's Tuesday 5.10.10

It's about 8.50am we are leaving in 10 minutes to go to Meis. Have to put the passports in at 9.30am and the boat leaves at 10. It will cost 40TL to go and come.

Catch up Sunday - Ali didn't go into the shop as normal. Sunday afternoon he left when Eyup drove up and told him that customers were coming. Eyup had called Ali's phone but of course it was upstairs and he didn't hear it ringing. P and I went down with him in the Jeep. Customers didn't arrive, P and I sat in the shop.

Monday, we got up early again so P could go diving. We got to the shop just before 9am. Ali took us to the marina, we got on the boat and had a pleasant couple of hours, P did a 'discovery dive' - with an instructor got kitted up with wetsuit, weight vest, flippers, mask and oxygen tank. Went into the water, practised de-pressurising, hand signals, then went down for about 20 mins. She said it was really good and would like to do it again. She was pretty nervous beforehand.

*

So we went to Meis (Greek island about 20 mins away by ferry.) There was a big group of expats who weren't particularly friendly to us apart from a Norwegian woman. Meis was beautiful, we visited the ehtnographic museum, lots of people from Meis went to Melbourne after the second world war. At the museum there were great displays and a film about the history. Did some shopping. Caught the boat back, hilarious when the boat workers handed around a tray of white wine and kept giving refills out of the wine box bladder. We were knackered. Had to wait for our passports to be returned, they just kind of put them on a table in the cafe for people to rummage through.

*

Wednesday.

There was something wrong with Ayse this morning. Her jaw seemed to have disappeared. Was pulled back, there was a little bit of blood but I thought it can't be gone because there would be more blood. She was kind of sitting really weird and looked really Evil, and pulling at her tongue with her paws. P was so distressed, it was awful to watch. P was crying and I was saying I had to go to the shop to help Ali. We'd had a nice moment before he went to work on the platform. Peaceful and quiet with all the cats. Then whatever happened to Ayse happened really quickly. I told P she had to decide whether to stay (mum was staying) or come with me. We drove down the mountain, her crying most of the way. Asking if Ayse would die, asking what we should do, feeling really, really bad that she'd been unable to even look at her because she was so scary ('What kind of mother am I?' she said.)

As we were driving I had the thought maybe something had happened to her collar, maybe somehow it had hooked her jaw. We rang mum (after much fucking around with phones) and asked her if she could bear to try and look and see if the cat's jaw was hooked back.

IT WAS! So she said she'd try and cut it off.

Then we had a 3pm appointment with the Muhtar's office to get all sorts of things prepared and stamped. I had to provide a passport photos, so we got some done and I look really sad. It was pretty upsetting but the photos made me laugh and cheered me up. I drove home to get mum and brought her back down for dinner. Then drove home in full dark for the first time. It was ok. Also forgot to mention, after signing and lodging all the papers, I think for property settlement and also I have appointed a lawyer to act on my behalf here and also Ali and I have both appointed a friend of his to act on P's behalf to 'do something' which is make an offer to buy the house from #4 because it's in #4's name. So the idea is the house will be transferred into P's name. Strange but true. I hope it fixed the problem but I doubt it will.

*

The day before we leave. One final boat trip, P wanted me to go. I was happy to stay home but she pushed so I went for her. Mum stayed home. We got up early to be at the boat at 9.30 because Ali said the last two times we were late. But there was no sign of him. P went to ask Ali and he said the boat was leaving 10.30 but that we should go at 9.30.

Drove down. We went for a quick walk to get a new t-shirt for P because the one she had one was dirty. By the time we got back, Ali had customers. We walked to the boat. We got on.

We set off. Ali was already on board, I hadn't noticed him sneak on and take position on the front deck. And then entailed a weird day.

And so it went on. I had a good chat to the grandmother, and her husband. Enjoyed time with the two expat women. It got very rough going back, we have video. The grandmother's sunglasses went off the boat. So did the little boy's BenTen watch, Ali went back to found it. I was nervous going back, we had to motor fast over the waves.

Back at the shop it was hard to get away. Had a beer with the girls. Then others came back from the photo shoot (long story). We finally got away, said our goodbyes, to #4 and Eyup.

But no time to go and say goodbye to anyone else. P was unhappy but I knew it was getting to 7.30pmish and I knew mum would be worried, she didn't have a phone so we couldn't call her.

Drove up the mountain, mum annoyed/worried. Made me annoyed.

We had fish and calamari for dinner. I started throwing back the wine. P disappointed we hadn't said goodbye to other people.

I asked her if she'd said goodbye to her uncle #4 and Eyup. I told mum and her that Eyup hadn't let go of my hand and #4 pulled me in for a big bear hug.

P started crying again.

Okay, I said. I'll stop drinking. Let's have our dinner. Start packing. And we'll drive back down at 10pm and say our goodbyes properly.

P was happy. So we did that. Mum came too. One last time, down the mountain. Saw S at his shop. Said goodbye. Saw F at her shop. Said goodbye. Parked at Ali's shop. Mum went to the cafe for a coffee. P and I to the fabric shop to buy a couple more towels. The girls from the boat saw us in there and so we went to the restaurant they were having dinner at and saw them once more. Was nice. Said goodbye to Y at his shop. #4 was at the barber but P said goodbye to Eyup and then Ali drove us home.

We packed. Slept at 1.30am. Up at 3.30am, driver picked us up at 4am. We drove through a storm with lightning to get to Antalya airport. We caught all our planes and got back home, back to reality.

Wah wah wee wah

So, my mum sold her apartment and might buy in the CBD. Funkarama.

She also has a gentleman caller, she met at the Third Age. They study Shakespeare and do choir together and now they go to the pictures and hold hands and swim at the beach. It's a beautiful thing and a great reminder to live in the now, live every day, grab life with both hands and give it a big hearty kiss on the lips.

Long-term readers will know my mum was diagnosed with cancer in 2000. She fought it and sometimes it didn't go away, and sometimes it did, only to come back again. That's the type of cancer she has/had. It's one of the 'better ones' to have if you're going to have cancer. Not nasty like breast or ovarian.

The most recent relapse was early last year, then it went away very quickly after only 1 or 2 chemo rounds. We had planned to go to Turkey and that became doubtful. However once she finished treatment the doc said ok and we went.

We went to Turkey in Sept/Oct and when mum came back it was action stations. Within a month or two she was 'dating' this lovely gentleman and seriously talking about putting her flat on the market. Bim bam, it's done. Sold yesterday.

She is moving from St Kilda to, like I said, CBD or St Kilda Road.

She is an inspiration.

Night night QLD

Feel bad going to bed while northern QLD is about to get hit by something quite terrible.

To my QLD friends, hang in there.

x

2011

I've heard a few people say 2010 was a terrible year for them, personally. For me it was fine. I've had my own annus horribilae (any Latin people, please correct that abomination of a conjugation). Things for me are settled now and I have to say a la Larry David: pretty, pretty, pretty good.

I haven't been blogging so much because I've been doing my 'real writing.' But I don't want to let this spot go, I know I have put it out there that I will still be blogging in my 80s. There's always plenty of material. I have to keep it short and sharp I think. And maybe not talk about films and tv and books so much.

Heh.

We are now watching True Blood, and it's so stimulating that I can't go to sleep within two and a half hours of watching an episode. But fuck me, how boring is Bill? And unattractive? Sheesh.

We finished Lost. The ending, again. Sheesh. Nowhere near as moving as the final episode of Six Feet Under. Methinks I need to revisit that. And Dexter, we are behind a season.

I'm half-way through re-reading Dirt Music by Tim Winton. I like it heaps better than Breath I've decided. I got sidetracked from it, though, by Russell Brand's My Booky Wook (which I just finished yesterday) after having read My Booky Wook 2.

I also picked up a copy of Marcel Proust's Remembrance of Things Past. What a tome and seemingly so digressive. Not sure how I will tolerate it. But at least I've got it, along with other great unread/partially read classics (The Brothers Karamazov, Anna Karenina, Ulysses and some of Old Hem old chap old man.) I think as I get older I realise my reading cannot be hard work. I want to fall into a book, not scale it like a mountain. But I DO NOT WANT to read shit. I am struggling with a Jodi Picoult book en ce moment as well, my oldest daughter has just read it and because she doesn't read much and I want to encourage her, I thought I would read it and we would discuss. Not sure if I'll finish it. Too many characters, too much cliche, too wordy. Give me MJ Hyland any day. God I can't wait for her next book.

*

I'll do a diaries over the weekend. Try to pick up the pace there and do them once a week.

Happy Very Hot Day tomorrow, fellow Melburnians.

Movies and books

Books and movies.

Some of you will remember that I often like to educate Princess in the ways of movies that I have loved or that I have though significant at the time even though a re-look sometimes makes me shake my head and think 'what the fuck was I thinking?'

A prime example of this is The Highlander (1984). When I first saw it, I thought it was fabulous. Now we need to consider the context - Harry Potter free and before good digital special effects, it was pre-Terminator 2 (1991) but post Terminator 1 (1984).

When I watched it again with Princess and Clokes (who had never seen it!) it was so scarring to the eyes of my daughter (by way of terrible special effects, bad fight scenes and all-round badness) that we had to turn it off half way through. I was embarrassed. How could I have gotten it so wrong?

That was earlier in the school holidays. Now, whenever I trot out another '80s movie Princess's first question is 'are the special effects.' My dignity is only assuaged by the fact she doesn't physically make the hand-quote movements.

Eighties movies that have impressed her thus far are:

St Elmo's Fire (largely because of Rob Lowe's face) and About Last Night (his torso.)

She quite liked Pretty in Pink despite the absence of any parts of Rob Lowe's anatomy, and watching it now I had a new-found appreciation for the character of the Duckman. I think back then he was too out there for me. I always liked the boring characters, the Andrew McCarthys, if you will.

We also had a Tom Cruise retrospect. Risky Business (she liked, she said he was hot. I was surprised, I never thought him attractive even back then. I'd forgotten how sexy the sex scenes are, oh well, she's fourteen now.) Top Gun, The Firm and we are trying to get Jerry Maguire. It's obviously a popular movie because it's never in the shop.

Other things we have watched:

Some 30 Rock.
Vampire Diaries - 1st season. Once the first season was nearing an end I'd become a bit meh about it but she loves it.
Notting Hill - she liked it
Sleepless in Seattle - not so keen on it, she said it was 'alright' but because we'd watched When Harry Met Sally first (which she loved for the humour) I think Sleepless was a bit soppy and sad.
My Best Friend's Wedding - she confirmed my memory that the best scenes were the Cameron Diaz karaoke as well as Rupert thingo's scenes. Julia Roberts's character was appalling and we both hated her. There's Something About Mary - she liked it. Who wouldn't?

Now to John Cusack. I have always loved Cusack and like others for me the love began with one movie - The Sure Thing. There was also Say Anything. I can't remember which one I saw first but they are both good, with TST better overall. What a wonderful movie. Wonderful.

We watched Stand By Me and she loved it. LOVED IT. Which is good because it is so awesome.

We watched Almost Famous which I enjoyed more this time than when I saw it previously.

And for some contemporary viewing, we watched Superbad and Thirteen. I was prepared for Superbad to be, well, super bad, but I loved it. What a glimpse into the male brain. But what fantastic characters they were, and the party scenes with sex and alcohol, there are some really fine messages there. It wasn't like American Pie at all (which is just fucking stupid.) Thirteen was about two 13-year-old girls. Confronting and frightening and not at all funny. Holly Hunter was good, the kids were good who played the girls, they were 13 and 14 when they filmed.

SO if it sounds like all I've been doing is lying around watching movies you'd be pretty right. I went back to work a couple of weeks ago but just 2 short days a week. We went to the pool once, we have't been away, I've been painting shelves today, not much writing going on really, I haven't got the space. Reading: at the moment I'm reading Russell Brand's Booky Wooky 2. It was on special at Borders and I just grabbed it. Unlike the rest of the world I haven't really known much about him. I knew of him but didn't realise what the fuss was about. Clokes and I saw Get Him to the Greek recently and talk about charisma. The Man Has Charisma. Is it the androgyny? The height? The chains and belts and leather? I don't know but you know what. The man can write. He is clearly quite brilliant and he could be a writer if he wanted to. I reckon.

I bought Peter Carey's My Life as a Fake and Theft: A Love Story. Also Camus's The Plague and The Fall. Also I'm mid-way through Rosalie Ham's Summer at Mount Hope (like it more than her first The Dressmaker) and have also gotten myself a copy of Winton's Dirt Music. Read it years ago but it was a borrowed copy. Time to re-read I think.

So that's about it.

Oh we are also still working through Lost. We are in the final season, about 8 eps to go? Princess has lost interest (heh) and I know it's gotten silly BUT I JUST WANT TO SEE HOW IT ENDS.

Ciao ciao.

Christmas Vortex

So I'm running a bath, yes right now. On 27 December 2010 I am running a hot bubble bath. What is with this weather?

It's been a really strange few days. I got sucked into the St Kilda Scandal vortex that is the internet forums and facebook sites. I've been doing my best to try and bring education to the masses about the age of consent and other 'topical' issues, as well as trying to encourage people to be less trollish and more compassionate.

Last night I watched Gangs of New York with Princess. It did not improve on second viewing.

And Christmas Day sucked balls. It was the least festive Christmas evah and by the time I went to sleep I wasn't talking to Clokes and he was starting to realise that maybe me complaining about it to him and then him NOT SAYING ANYTHING LIKE You know babe, sorry I know how you're feeling, the food was great was not the right way for him to play it.

That's all it would take. A little rub on the arm and a sorry, the food was delicious, thank you. Which he did the next morning after he noticed I still wasn't talking to him. But me spelling it out and then not getting any support? Hmmm.

Christmas has been complicated for me since the age of 14. It's the bane of many a child of divorce. But try adding a blended family into the mix and it becomes hell. Diarama when I can be bothered.
Hope all your Christmas Days were better than mine.

PS And I haven't even mentioned my father and the pathetic phone call Christmas afternoon, that I had to make after lack of contact for two weeks, and weak way he goes AWOL at Christmas most years.
See? The fourteen-year-old sad and disappointed little girl is still inside of me. BATH TIME!

Nude saints scandale

I'm all over it. It's an interesting case of sexual politics, media feeding, scorned woman, stupid doofus men.

But what's really shocking (though not surprising) is the speedy willingness of people in forums and commenters on news articles who want to call her skank, ho, slut.

And woman are their own worst enemies.

Why is a man called a 'legend' if he is sexually successful?

Why is a woman called a 'slut' if she acts the same way?

I have to say I admire her for standing up to what would be an intimidating and powerful behemoth (AFL, a bunch of grown men with money and power, Demetriou etc.) The vitriol and support she has on the Internet seems almost balanced so far; depends on the forum. Her formspring is loaded with supportive comments, her facebook everyone is mostly slagging her off. I've read her twitter as well, and seen the photos and her video responses to what's been going on.

I hope she comes through it ok. I'm embarrassed for Riewoldt, that people like me have seen his junk. He looks furious in the still photos, and he would be. No matter how she got the pictures, what on earth was he thinking? It's a posed photo but he's fully nude standing there next to another guy (wearing jeans and no shirt, holding out a wrapped condom) and in front of someone with a camera.

What was he thinking?

What's the definition of "spy"?

My Macquarie Dictionary 3rd Edn says:

1. one who keeps secret watch on the action of others

2. one employed by a government to obtain secret or intelligence, especially with reference to military or naval affairs of other governments


So the reason Mark Arbib is not being described as a spy by The Age is because:

1. we don't know whether he was in the employ of the US Government

2. we don't know how secret his observations were

3. he wasn't obtaining and passing on military or naval information; simply the internal workings of Labor party politics

4. he would sue The Age for defamation.

And is a spy someone who works for an enemy or opposite entity? That could also be a reason he can't be called a spy.

So informant then?

My Oxford Dictionary and Thesaurus defines informant as:

See informer.

1. a person who informs against another
2. a person who informs or advises

1. informant, tell-tale, taleteller, stool-pigeon, US tattle-tale, colloq. supergrass, weasel, hist. beagle, sl. snitch, finger, squealer, nose, shopper, Austral. sl. fizgig, shelf, Brit. sl. grass, nark, Brit. school sl. sneak, esp. US sl. ratfink, US sl, fink, stoolie, US & Austral. sl. dog; traitor, betrayer, fifth-columnist, spy, rat, colloq. mole.
2. informant, source, reporter, correspondent, communicator, consultant, adviser, counsel, counsellor, guide, mentor.

Under the entry for "inform" -
2. turn informer, name names, colloq. scream, sl. sing, squeak, squeal, Brit. school sl. sneak (inform against or on), accuse, incriminate, inculpate, implicate, identify, betray, denounce, colloq. tell on, rat on, blow the whistle on, split on.

I'd settle for rat. It's pretty low and seems different to a sharing of resources which one might expect allied governments to engage in. I reckon it stinks and it stinks even more that he was one of the people who 'handled' the Rudd toppling.

How do we feel, knowing that one of our senators is in such close contact (for want of a better expression) with the US Embassy, and who might be influence by them and therefore influence our government?

I think it stinks.

Obligatory Julian Assange post

I'm not a little disturbed by the fact that there has been American communication (seedy? manipulative? undercover? pushy? instrumental? meddlesome?) with Mark Arbib who was instrumental in bringing down Rudd.

I'm also quite disturbed by Julia Gillard making the statement she did about Assange; using words like illegal in one breath while in another saying it wasn't clear whether it was illegal. Shades of David Hicks in a way; our country deciding a person is a Bad Guy without trial and leaving them to the mighty forces overseas.

What are we? A fucking back-water? New Zealand has bigger balls than we do.

I think I've voted for the ALP for the last time. I cannot respect a government who doesn't do the right thing and say the rights things in these circumstances. That's the only thread that kept me in ALP's camp, and while I swung out occasionally to vote Greens, last election I voted Labor.

Gillard's no better than Howard or any other of the tools that preceded her. Where's her integrity, strength, ability to drive us properly? The car is careening all over the road and it is so disappointing. I'm let down, disappointed but somehow, unsurprised.

I'm not someone who thinks Assange OR HICKS are heroes. But they were both hung out to dry and we didn't do anything about it. Sure, we give them access to consular support like with any other citizen arrested overseas. Like we would have with Chambers and Barlow (Hawke also made a plea for compassion that they not be executed), and Corby and the Stupido Nines or whatever they're called. (no one bothered pleading for them that I know of.) I know Australia cannot interfere with foreign law but we can still make strong statements that show us as evolved and intelligent. No wonder people think we are idiots, stupid, dumbos, soft.

We have to get over our post-colonial shakes and realise that we can keep close ties with the countries that matter while also retaining our independence of thought and speech. And respect.
If not, ie if America is strong-arming us, well that just supports the rhetoric that they are the bully boys of the world. Maybe we can't have it both ways. Maybe we can't stand up for what's right without bending over and taking it up the arse.

But really, do we have to be an accessory to America's world domination? Do we want to be friend with them? Do we need to? Can't we pull away a bit more and be more like Switzerland? (Or New Zealand.)

Lorem ipsum, ipsum dorum, dolores sorum, factotum necessitatum.

Two posts, one day.

I'm a bit behind the times here probably cause I don't read any music stuff at all, or entertainment/celeb stuff these days.


But was sad to hear of the death of Ari Up from the Slits. These girls were original Fuck You girls back in the late '70s to early '80s.





For me, they represented women who did their own thing and weren't worried about being judged or criticised or labelled as unsexy, unfeminine, uncouth. All the uns.


I had the album above - Cut. For me I think it was all about the cover, I don't think I ever fully loved any of their songs. Just had a quick listen on youtube - discordant, all over the place and terrible production. Oh well. Great album cover.

Let me play you (again I think) another of my faves from that time. I just loved The Damned and this video is pretty good, and it's their best song. I normally don't like these types of videos that just show still photography but this is pretty good.

Wednesday Panic

Panic is looking for and not finding Volume 22 of my diaries which I am going to rely on for a project and also which contains intimate and every detail of my life from 3.13am Friday 20 April 1990, scribed as I sat on the plane (seat 16A) at Bangkok airport waiting to fly to Athens, until 5.10pm Friday 29 June, 1990.

Relief is finding it.

Thank fucking god.

Tuesday Happy Spree

Happiness today is my new short hair being commented upon, and then the drop-jaw looks when I say "oh, I did it myself."

Happiness today is two slices of cold watermelon as soon as I get home from work.

Happiness today is knowing we will have simple pasta for dinner. Requires no more thought.

Happiness today is knowing I have an excellent book to read. Room, by Emma Donoghue. Have read a few pages and I was instantly transfixed.

Happiness is not working tomorrow.

Happiness is the Bento Box I had for lunch today.

Happiness is the colour of my nails. OPI Cajun Shrimp. The prettiest red for summer.

Happiness is having knocked out a deal with two of my kids re walking the dog. Yes it involves money but what the hell. She gets walked, they make some money and everyone is happy.

Happiness is knowing we watch some Lost tonight.

Happiness is knowing we also watch some Big Bang tonight.

Happiness is knowing the caterer is booked for my mum's upcoming 70th birthday party.

Happiness is knowing what my next story is, and having done some good stuff yesterday.

Happiness is knowing I have the heart of an ox (not quite the cardiologist's words) and lungs of steel. So the feeling I've been having in my chest is neither lungs nor heart. Next stop - gastroenterologist.

Happiness is knowing my honey is taking me somewhere nice on the weekend.

Happiness is anticipating the Royal Wedding. I can't help it. I LOVE IT.

Happiness is having the piano tuned tomorrow.

Happiness is mopping the kitchen floor tomorrow. I'm serious.

Happiness is snatching 40 minutes or so outside on the trampoline to soak up some rays. Tomorrow.

Happiness is knowing I could sleep in tomorrow, although I won't. Too much to do.

Monday-itis antidote

It's simple don't go to work.

No, it's not that simple. I'm working Friday so I've done a day swap HOWEVER it means I didn't have to heave out of bed and do the nomal Monday morning thang. It did mean, though, that I had to:

- still get up at 7am to check on Princess and do a "go-to-school-or-not" assessment. She stayed home. She has been having night sweats for three nights, had a raging temp on Sat night (or was it Friday?) and has a sore throat and headache. I swear, the girl has no immune system, and part of me worries about that one time a friend breastfed her (without my permission, I might add) when she was <1 year old, and another part of me worries about all the champagne I drank before I knew I was pregnant (Christmas/NYE in Sydney) not to mention the hessian sack of oysters I ate from Merimbula after coming home. Too much zinc can affect foetal development? So I'm takingher to the doc. We did go on Friday and were told that there was a tiny spot on one tonsil - maybe it's tonsilitis now?

- go to my mother's and help her change her sheets as well as dust some up high spots at her place

BUT it also means I've got the papers and can read them over lunch, I can now do some writing AND it also means I was able to spend more time finessing my new hair. Yesterday I chopped it off (it was mid-way down my back and bush like no other) while now it's a bit Blondie, shoulder-length messy bob with some longer bits at the front and a bit shorter at the back. I've done a pretty fine job if I may say so. Secret #1 - dressmaker shears for dealing with the bulk during stage one. Secret #2 - nail scissors for shaping. I read once that Sharon Stone cuts her own hair at the front with nail scissors. I've got pretty wild hair so it's ok to do this; I wouldn't recommend for people with normal hair. But I've saved a bunch of money and have a good story to tell.

So that's about it. Busy few weeks coming up. The Little Man finishes primary school, the two girls finish Year 8 and Year 9 respectively. We have birthdays galore in December, and next weekend Clokes is taking moi to Nobu. We had a reservation at Bistro Vue and I said no. I'm an incorrigible snob (I didn't want to go because it's the "lesser of the two" though truth be told the menu suited me better - no foam that I could see; but also they do early and late sittings and I didn't want to be rushed. So hah. Cancel that baby.)

- oh, one more thing. Is it wrong to feel relieved having almost finished my ex-step-sister's first book (collection of short stories) and realise that we don't write nearly the same, and while I can appreciate her wry humour (she really is alot funnier in her writing than I remember her being as an 11-year-old) and that she is a talented writer and story-teller, she hasn't at all written anything like my book. Not wrong, normal right?

Happy Monday.

Hayfevered

It's a gorgois day out there so may get onto the tramp for a sun sesh HOWEVER in the meantime I have jobs to do, including right now demolishing poached eggs on toast and scanning the papers and drinking coffee. My new way with the coffee (because before I was having a large latte, and it's really alot of milk) is to make it as normal, then put hot water in (using another protrusion on the machine) and then put a shot of hot milk in. It means more cleaning up but tastes good...

I have a card from the PO, looks like it might be one of Ali's carpets. Not sure though.

Have to call the piano tuner again and tell him I need the thing tuned before December. He's a funny thing, very 'mad-musician' - all shambling and vague.

My mobile plan has finished. Does that mean that they automatically adjust the monthly payments to account for the fact I have paid off the handset? No. Apparently I have to tell them. Bastards. They are all bastards. So which phone should I get next? Princess needs a new phone and 'everyone' at her school has iPhones. I've told her she is not getting one and I don't care how outre it will be to not have an iPhone. I've come to hate Apple; they have made all their products so fucking desirable that The People just need to have mac computers and iPhones and iPads. Why do normal people need a fucking mackintosh computer? It's so fucking stupid.

That's about it. At home today oh yay. Will be a bit writerly, just have to get my mind off all the static, including a conversation about sessual relations with animals on another blog. (I've borrowed that term from another blogger, I don't want sick fucks turning up here looking for dog p*rn.)

Speaking about porn, I'm reading Gail Dines' book Pornland. It's about the sexualisation of society and the mainstreaming of porn and how porn on the Internet is becoming more and more hardcore and 'gonzo' (she calls it) and the effects of all of this on us, especially young people who learn about sex on the Internet by watching porn. It's interesting, it's sordid, it's highly academic and my kids think it's a scream that I'm reading something about porn. I tell them it's for work.

Peace out.

Blech

Not liking the rain, my darlings.

Just read in the paper that if it's raining, it must be a Saturday in Melbourne. Yes. At least I managed to get on the trampoline in the backyard yesterday for half an hour of (blazing) sun to try and top up the old Turkish Tan.

Am going out for arvo tea in Prahran with a friend shortly (D from the diaramas) and I'm going to have to wear closed-toe shoes. Fuck.

Last night had date night with Clokes, and we DID walk and I DID wear my new shoes god they are beautiful. We shared a prosciutto pizza (small) and had a steak each. For a small, unpretentious, innocuous place in East St Kilda, the chef sure knows how to cook a steak. My med-rare was exactly that. They could do something about their dessert menu, though. 'Orrible tartufo (from a box) and baci (ditto) and chocolate mousse that they tip into a martini glass behind the bar. Oh sweet jesus.

So I've finished Rose Tremain's The Way I Found Her. You know when you are finishing a novel and the final pages you don't want to read quickly, you want to draw it out and enjoy? Once I'd done that, and stretched the final pages, to the sweet end, ohmyfuckinggod it is so good.

I'm trying to make a list of writerly things, it's so boring and pretentious to go into detail here, I never wanted this blog to be a writer blog, so I shant let it now, BUT I just want to say doing all this other stuff is far harder than writing the thing in the first place. Enough said but it's doing my head in.

Oh an remember I wrote a while back about a few books I had to read, and was reading, and had read, well one of them was Jon Bauer's Rocks in the Belly, which is doing good things and has received some really good reviews. At the time I blogged that I had bought it and was going to read it, I got an email from him to my yahoo address. It was a little funny, that writers google themselves like that. But I've since done some stalking and the guy is funny, unpretentious and down-to-earth so not at all up himself. He's a bit of a spunk too, which doesn't hurt in addition to being a quality writer.

So, in much the same way that years ago I could summon Andrew Landeryou to my blog with a single tap of the keys (Andy, you rascally old self-googler you), Jon if you do venture this way again and haven't read that I loved your book, well I did. And good luck for whatever comes next, though from what I read online you are on you way and don't need luck.

To finish. I am hoping the cafe in Prahran has some nice cake, preferably with some cream in it.

Happy wet Saturday you Melbourne people, and anyone from elsewhere with sunshine, well stuff you, you smug bastard!

Happy Friday

Sorry no diarama today, I am running behind, also have stuff to do. But in the meantime, some bits and pieces:
Loving my new shoes they are too sexy and I can't stop looking at them and touching them and putting them on. Will I be able to wear them out tonight for our date night? Depends if it is pouring with rain at about 7pm. If it's dry, we walk and therefore I can't wear them. If it's wet, we will drive and I WILL wear them. I don't know what to wish for because I kind of like walking to the restaurant. It's romantic.
Bugged by the recent news about a certain school in Ivanhoe not allowing a Year 11 girl to take her female partner to the school dance. There's a lot of 'that's not what we said' and 'this is the reason' and 'no, we are not being discriminatory.' There is anecdotal evidence that past students have been allowed to take female partners (whether to other year level functions, I don't know.) All I know is that the school has come off looking very bad, especially the principal for her unbelievable comment of (paraphrasing): I don't think they have any reason to be upset.
(Actually I just went and found the direct quote, it's even more unbelievable "I don't think it's appropriate they feel discriminated against, and I'm very upset they feel that," she said.
I tell you what. It would be a deal-breaker for me if I knew my kids were at a school which didn't allow same-sex partners at school dances etc. All the reasons this school has given are ridiculous. That is all.Actually it's not all. Loving John Birmingham's response in the paper yesterday. If you've got a spare hour, read the comments as well. Choice. Make that two hours. Just saw they have doubled since I read most of them yesterday. I will catch up on them later.
Loving me for having worked very hard on my writering stuff. But fuck me, synopses are satan's children.
Bugged by the wind and hayfeverishness it is creating. Blech. But I guess at least it's not locusts yet.
Loving me again because I have just organised my wardrobe, and bagged up two hefty orange garbage bags of winter stuff to be stored. I am so ace. I really am.
Loving The Big Bang Theory. My own quite non-physicist theory about the BBT is that Sheldon is the most awesome fictional TV character on at the moment. Perhaps ever! Who is your favourite TV character?

Not liking

Just a quickie cause I'm busy busy busy with other stuff.

1. Hating the maxi dress at the moment. It's a horrible fashion item and I wish it would go away soon. I mean, come on. Two summers?

2. Really don't like the square (or oblong) dinner plate. It's also too horrible for words.

3. Loving left-over rice panfried with diced red capsicum, mushrooms, spring onions and those cute little grape tomatoes. Then crumbled feta over that. Mmmm.

4. Loving a day to myself. I am lucky enough to get two of these per week (in addition to the weekend.) Yes I know. I'm a bit smug about it.

5. Loving Rose Tremain. Am now reading The Way I Found Her. Adored The Road Home. Brilliant writing and characters.

6. Unimpressed by the print media coverage of the Big Race. Talk about bad losers. All the sneaky adjectives attached to the winning horse implying (not really implying, stating) the cup was stolen, snatched, grabbed. And the xenophobic sub-text of previous "foreign" winners also stealing the cup from its rightful owners, Australia. Come the fuck on. Is it not an international race? Attracting international entries? It's things like that which prove we are still just so green and unformed. Embarrassing. But some pretty classy fashione pics in the paper as well, so nice to see that. (Not looking at you Brynne, but you're okay baby. It's your hubby that I'm worried about now, especially his lack of humour. One Dame Edna Everage handled badly.)

7. Unimpressed also with Bronwyn Pike's gaffe. Come on woman.

8. Loving the series of Lost. Have introduced Princess to it, and have created a monster. Clokes and I watched several seasons a few years ago then caught up to the telly. Will watch to the end now. Oh yay.

9. Uninterested by the Neighbours-for-groan-ups, and this week's "shock horror death." Meh, who cares? Have never watched the show but I'm sure I'm right in thinking it's a piece of crapola.

10. Slightly anxious about what I'm sure is on the horizon conversation-wise with Princess. She has been talking about drugs a bit lately, and has (over the years) shifted her knowledge and attitude from one of thinking drug takers are rare, and the scary people you see on the streets, dishevelled, dirty and crazed (we lived in St Kilda for a major part of her formative years) to now knowing that it's a lot more common and there are different types of drugs and a lot of young people try them as part of their growing up development.

She's not yet asked me if I've ever taken them, I must be prepared and I'm not sure what to say. I have to be prepared, for I will not lie, but I don't want to condone them either. And reading in the paper today that alcohol comes in 1st at 77/100 and heroin 2nd at 55/100 (or something) on a list of most harmful drugs is a worry as well. What do you do with that?

IT WILL GET BETTER!

Well I think this is great. The Age reports a coalition of 11 schools that are forming to give the message that they are gay-friendly, that they will not tolerate bullying or persecution of gay and lesbian students.

At work we often get emails/news bulletins about GLBTI issues (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, intersex). A couple of days ago I was forwarded (by my manager) the following. I couldn't watch it at work as it was buffering badly (strange, our computers are so crap yet for work we need to be able to look at porn, watch videos, go on chatroulette, mummy-help-me-I'm-scared-of-that-one-where-can-I-get-a-horse's-head-at-short-notice?)

Isn't it a beautiful day today? Please be accepting of people who are different to you. Young people are killing themselves because people are being shit to them. And if you are a parent and hear your young people saying things like "oh that's so gay" call them on it. Ask them why they say that. Ask them how they would feel if people were saying "oh that's so Adam/Jessica" [insert their own name here.]

Often, they just don't get it , and often they are just saying it without thinking, and may not be homophobic (I know, my daughter falls into this category.) Who gives a fuck if they think you aren't hip, are boring, are old and fuddy-duddyish. It's up to us to teach the younger generation. About this and so many other things.

Yesterday was Wear Purple Day, in acknowledgment of the suicides of young people who are GLBTI. I think it's great that schools like Princes Hill SC are taking a stand. Bloody brilliant.

Being same-sex attracted is not something new. Throughout time, in every country across the world, there have been people who identify as SSA. IN EVERY COUNTRY IN EVERY CULTURE
IN EVERY RELIGION. Just because a culture, religion or society is intolerant, it doesn't mean that people aren't gay or lesbian. It just makes it even harder for them. Studies show consistently that between 8% and 14% of populations are SSA.*






http://www.joelburns.com/

http://www.thetrevorprojecct.org/

* Hillier et al, 1998. Writing Themselves In.

Back home. Oh yeah.

The trip back was long but okay. The jet lag is crap. The weather is crap too. Why oh why.

Work is okay, good to see the folks there. Good to see the fam here as well.

But the weather. Oh crap.

Which is why I'm prolly feeling a tad flat.

The only thing to do is...









... plan the next trip.

here we are

You can see a corner of our pool where we are staying as well as some of the view out from the property. The house is amazing - three stories of eccentric wood and wrought-iron magnificence, with old tombs jutting out of a couple of the walls (those old tombs, you have to work around them), soft curtains that float in the breeze and wagon wheels everywhere (as a light fitting here, on the gate there, in the garden.)

This is the house that Ali built. He has some amazing stories of working with the builders - figuring out how to make the external staircase, problems with the swimming pool tiles lifting off once the water was in there and having to be redone. I can't believe he has done it, and all from his head telling the builders what he wanted and then working out together with them how to make it happen. The whole thing is a towering castle of stone and marble and glass. Simply incredible.

We all have rooms here except Princess and I are sleeping together at the top of the house in a big bed with white mosquito net which is so softly romantic. This isn't just so no child-bride stealers will climb up to take her away. We like sleeping together on holiday, it's special and fun. The weather is hot hot hot but today is breezier and it comes right up the mountains off the sea and is glorious.

Breakfasts are typical Turkish breakfast. Sun-ripened tomatoes that cost less than $2 per kilo and are better than anything you can taste in Australia. Some cucumber, white cheese, soft fresh bread and coffee. Or tea. Or both. Salty black olives and then maybe some pastry to finish. Then in to the pool, then maybe in to town for a wander. Or maybe not.

Friends arrived the other day and they have tootled off to look at some ruins nearby, and my girlfriend seemed a little puzzled that I didn't want to go. There is nothing I want more than to just stay here in this Wesley-esque villa, its garden and pool. And it's platforms amongst the trees that are scattered with cushions and where you can laze and lie and drowse and stretch and not even turn one page of your book.

As soon as we arrived, Princess saw the white kitten. Her baba had been feeding her a little but had he gotten her a collar with a bell and with a string of blue eyes along it? No. Had he gotten her a flea collar, and two types of cat food, wet and dry? So she has collars and food galore and her brother has turned up so he has a bowl of food as well in the mornings and nights, but no collar yet because he won't let her touch him. Once he lets her pat him, he gets the collar.

There is a hill nearby. It is not too big and not too small and the top is a bit rounded and a bit pointed. I want to climb this hill before we leave. I don't know if there are fences or other impediments - dogs, goats, snakes. But this is my deep desire.

Better finish now. The Cats lost and Clokes and the other two kids (the boy especially) are too excited about Collingwood being in the Grand Final. I couldn't care less, not really, other than if they DO win, at least I'm not there. St Kilda is my second team so I wouldn't mind seeing them win...

I'm reading Jonathan Franzen's Freedom. It is an awesome book and I don't want it to finish.

Hope you are all well, can't say I'm missing Melbs but you know. We'll be back soon enough and this will all be but a dream. Trying to live in the moment, fairly easy to do when there's nothing pressing to do other than float in the swimming pool watching the red dragonflies perched along the edge. I've never seen red dragonflies before - they look like prehistoric creatures with enormous eyes and long spiky tails. And red, scarlet, and they glitter.

gone fishing

Farewell dear friends.

See you when we get back.

There will be diarama and news and maybe some photes, and surely plenty of stories to tell.

x

Oh and GO CATS.

a few small things before I go

Hey you
Pretty good about Jules, n'est ce-pas? I'm pleased and will be taking my Julia badge, custom made by squib, to Turkey. It's a bit funny though. Turkey had their first female prime minister back in the early to mid 90s. Her name was Tansu Ciller and she was expected to be a puppet of male politicians but once she got into power, did not bow to anyone. She was well-respected and strong, but then of course fell off the pedestal, I can't remember what about. Everyone falls of their pedestal eventually. Except maybe Mandela.
Watched Invictus the other night. It was terrific and even though it was about rugby, it wasn't about rugby of course. I wonder if Mandela is a secret buddhist because he was showing all sorts of buddhist ways. I was amazed too that it was true to life. The Springboks were crap, he got behind them, they rose above their mediocrity, managed to have whites AND blacks going for them, and beat the All Blacks in the final in 1995. Awesome feel-good movie that doesn't resort to tricks to keep you involved, and there wasn't even one cliche that I could see.
What a beautiful day it is today. I am in a t-shirt and was just down the street, everyone looks happy. I've finished work (may have dug my own grave there yesterday with a couple of ill-advised comments and negative body language) but I'm away now until Mon 11 October and feeling mighty fine about that.
Had breakfast this morning with a dear friend who, with another couple of friends will be meeting us in the south of Turkey to spend some time. A few years ago we had a fantasy of three of us buying a villa in Portugal and while that hasn't happened, we can pretend that Ali's villa on the Mediterranean will suffice. I'm seeing all sorts of scenes from Stealing Beauty but I'm determined Princess will not be seduced by anyone closely resembling a creepy Jeremy Irons.
Is there a role he's played that HASN'T been creepy?
Princess comes back tomorrow from camp. I haven't heard anything so no news is good news. She told me one of her friends was hospitalised on a previous camp (dehydration) and I am expecting her to arrive back slightly hysterical. It will either be all good or all bad, there will be no in between. I hope she had a grouse time.
I won't be blogging in Turkey I don't think, but you never know. Last time I did one from an Internet cafe, so there's a chance. I will if I can.
Stay safe everyone and enjoy the warm sunshine that will no doubt be a fixture, now that we are leaving the country.
Oh, and Go Cats!

Another vigil

So when the miners were underground in Tasmania for ten days or whatever it was, I remember thinking about them as I went about my daily life. I even blogged about it.

All the time they were down there, I was up here doing my normal stuff. Going to the toilet, eating, snuggling into bed, waking and sleeping. Working.

And then there was the other vigil, the waiting for Princess to come back from America. Twenty-six days of hell.

I find myself in a similar situation now. Princess went to camp at 7am on Thursday morning.
It was dry but the deluge was coming. They are west of Melbourne, near the coast and under canvas for seven nights, eight days. Apparently there is a house on the property that I GUESS the teachers will take them to if say, they are completely washed out and having to wring the water out of sleeping bags and dodge falling tree branches?

There is no contact with them until Thursday when they get their phones given back on the bus home, and while I sent her off with the most sublimely packed bag with nothing forgotten, lots of warm stuff in the correct fibres, even hiking boots and thicko socks and as much stroggin* as she could carry, I still find it difficult to push away the thought that while I am snug and safe my babe is lost in the woods somewhere.

Last night, in bed, with my hot water bottle against my stomach, the wind and rain lashing the window, how could I settle down and sleep? We've been to a party, had Father's Day breakfast, slept in clean linen, worked, shopped, read, watched Geelong lose narrowly (not bitter, not bitter) and all the while she is somewhere I can't imagine, can't visualise, possibly up to her ears in mud.

So glad to see the sun today, but the papers are telling me there's worse to come? Cars have been pushed off precipices on the ski mountains, people are being evacuated from flooded towns, and the only thing that is keeping me sane is that she is not in a danger area and she is with professionals. But the next few days will still be long ones.

And next Saturday we leave for Turkey. Ahhhhh.






* hiking snacks, like chocolate, nuts etc. High energy, high protein.

Love this song

Can't embed, it's disabled. This is a great version. 1977, before it got overcooked.

Just wonderful.