Wednesday, August 15, 2007

dedicated to i'm not craig, as per an earlier request

INC, luckily for you i have found a helpful little notebook in which i wrote all my bad poetry. so you don't need to wait until the late '80s in my currently crawling-like-a-snail retro look through my diaries.

The titles are exactly what I have written in the notebook. I have had a sense of humour forever.


You threw me a glance,
And then another.
Soon the rooms were spinning -
Looks and eye-space colliding.
Yet tentative moods would
Encroach, time always
Dying too soon.
Not enough. Never enough.
Fluttering fantasies flying in
My mind. Warm thoughts and
Groin girding notions.
Fabulous fancies of
You and I.
Splendid loving and cautious* caresses.

* Not sure why I used this word here. Perhaps I meant tentative?

But this one following is the one you really wanted. It is truly Bad Poetry.


Viking-Man, who are you?
Are you a child, fleece for hair?
Forget-me-not eyes and
Huge, Huge feet.
A look slides onto your face.
Pensive eyes, chin in hand,
You look into eternity
Seeking answers for a question
You do not ask.
Go on, I dare you to ask
That question that baroomps* your
Look my way, seriously now.
Fully consider me.
Roll me around your tongue.
Chew on me
(Don't spit me out!)
Suck my juice**
Breathe my perfume
Then take the plunge.
Go on. Swallow me.
For I have you.


* Baroomps???

** !?!

Sorry people. But it is funny.

Even funnier is that this man is now known to quite a few in the RRR and music community. Including a couple of bloggerettes.

so there you are, INC. i believe you owe me One Bad Poem.


gigglewick said...

I love your punctuation.

I LOVE it.

Also "groin girding" and "huge, huge feet".


I'm not Craig said...

That. Is. Amazing.

Thank you for a much needed cheering up in the middle of a somewhat less than fun week (I have spent rather a lot of it in the Family Court - never good)

I will have to go and hunt through old diaries for some of my high school poetry (or, if you wish to be truly appalled, some early attempts at lyrics) and post them so people can marvel at just how bad some of that stuff was.

I assure you, none of it is nearly as good as "Viking Man"

MelbourneGirl said...

yes i'm partial to groin girding too gw. i wasn't 17 when i wrote that. more early 20s and you can see me just taking off there with the imagery.

thanks inc. i look forward to some lyrics.

I'm not Craig said...

Bad lyrics, part one, posted over at my blog as promised.

Just for you.

sublime-ation said...

ick! more bodily juices than an Erica Jong poem.

Wonderful, MG. I salute you.

MelbourneGirl said...

it was around this time that i was reading, or had read, a lot of erica jong. didn't know she wrote poetry, but her novels are ace.