Tuesday, July 08, 2008

for my 360th post

let me list the ways:

1. i have a sore eye-socket. left.

2. my right arm is stiff, has been for ages. no i haven't been pumping iron.

3. i am cold.

4. i am eating too much ice cream.

5. i confess three and four may be connected. if not, they are evidence of my foolish, foolish nature.

6. i am housebound with 3 children.

7. i am bored.

8. i am wearing purple, velvet tracksuit pants, with a black skivvie.

9. i just forgot i'm heating the hair straightener in the bathroom.

10. i am going to straighten my hair.

11. then i am going to read the age.

12. we have two copies of the age today, because clokes put the copy bought in the morning on the table in the hall. i went out the back door and didn't see it.

13. last night we watched the first episode of dexter. i liked it except the ending was stupid. i hope it settles down with the stupid endings.

14. MY NAME IS MELBA AND I WILL BUY A MAGAZINE IF IT HAS BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA ON THE COVER.

15. we went back to mirka on friday night and had a bombe each. EACH. decadent and delish.

16. i bought some new undies recently. it hasn't helped.

17. the dog needs a wash.

18. the dog needs a flea treatment.

19. i enjoy the school holidays because i can sleep in. i don't enjoy them because i don't have my quiet space.

20. i need to earn some more money.

21. there is mould growing in the bathroom. see number 20.

22. ali asked if princess can go visit him again this year (either turkey, or the states over christmas. long term readers, this is a mistake, right? but she's older, right? not sure about it.)

23. ah the sun is trying to break through the clouds.

24. the hairstraightener might start to smell soon.

25. big brother is so fucking boring. i hate them all. especially cherry.

26. no, i don't hate them all. but they are all boring.

27. whatever happened to memes? i swear, i got sick of them for a while, but now they are nowhere. sociologically, are memes for newbies? did we all just go through that stage, or are there new ones out there? i'd be up for a meme. i miss meme'ing.

28. i feel that my little corner of blogworld is struggling. i know i can go on and on forever. i'll be blogging until i'm 90 and blind i think. but people who have more to do in their lives, are like living their lives, and falling off the blog-dar. it's ok, i understand, i am not bitter.

29. except for fits. i miss fits. this is what i've had in drafts regarding fits.

* * *

title: on the passing of ms. fits. it still hurts.


this is what happened on the fateful day. the same day as our first anniversary, may 26th, 2008

[melbournegirl is talking to husband clokes on their first anniversary, this evening about 6 o'clock]

mg: i'm devastated

clokes: yeah, i wondered how she'd keep it going. she's so busy.

mg: yeah i know, but it's so sad.

clokes: it's ok. another one'll come along...

mg: NOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!

clokes: yes!

mg: [leaves the room]

* * *

[later that night, during the festive and romantic celebrations]

clokes: are you on the computer?

[silence]

mg: you don't understand

clokes: yes, i do. it's our anniversary.

[sound of handbeater struggling to cream rock-hard western star in the kitchen. the kids are icing a cake.]

* * *

[later]

princess [opening new idea]: ok, this is an article on relationships, you guys need to read it.

mg: i don't need to read it, i've read it already.

princess: well, clokes, you need to, dude.

clokes: don't call me dude!

princess: i call everyone dude.

* * *

i still check her blog. i still hope. i am bereft. an abandoned child. she was my mother-ship. my touchstone. my corner-stone. my hero. my idol. my shiva.

and now she's gone. gone.

other "outlets" are not satisfying. i don't listen to her. i don't read the gg articles. i always forget about the book show. but for me it started with the blog. i need the bloggy goodness of ms fits.

is anyone else feeling this way?

it's a bit freaky, isn't it?

just call me mel.

* * *

30. sun is out now, i feel better. i have purged and now i go to straighten my hair.

48 comments:

BEVIS said...

I think we all have a Ms Fits-sized hole in our hearts.

I'm still here, though. So the two of us can keep kicking on until we're 90, even if no one but the two of us leaves any comments on our posts anymore.

*sound of crickets chirping*

Anyway, regarding # 22: MISTAKE

... although, he IS her father, and it WOULD be an experience she'll most likely treasure all her life, and it ISN'T often that she gets to see him without you being there (which, as we all know, doesn't necessarily make for a harmonious night out), so maybe you SHOULD let her go?

I dunno. You're a wise woman. I'm sure you'll make a better decision about your daughter than some weirdo Muppet freak you've never met.

Or me.

(And how can you POSSIBLY be bored if you're housebound with three children?!? There's so much FUN to be had! Wrap the dog in masking tape, stack all the furniture against the fron door, fill the bathtub with red jelly, put gladwrap on the walls and draw on it in texta so it looks like the wallpaper or paintwork has been graffitied, ... THE LIST IS ENDLESS.)

Have a good day, Mel.

BEVIS said...

PS - The best thing about Big Brother this year was the 'Mole' thing. And they only drew that out for three days. Otherwise ... *snores* ...

BEVIS said...

Also, "fron door" = "front door". Sorry.

Mex said...

i miss fits too! and i dont listen to her or read her anywhere.

apparently there is a book coming. i for one will be stalking her at all the book launches!

Rowena said...

Yep, it still feels completely weird that Fits isn't around. I donnae like it.

As for Cherry, he is one of the biggest scumbags the world has ever seen. And as well as being morally bankrupt, he is utterly dull and utterly charmless.

I'm not Craig said...

1 & 2 See a doctor. Dude.

4. Not possible

8. Awesome

20 & 21 I'm sure we'd all chip in a couple of bucks for some exit mould if you're short

22. Better than having him here, surely? I have no idea. Please do not accept advice from me on that subject

27. This reminds me that it's so long since I wrote a yuyu that several of the people on the list don't blog anymore and will never read them. This is a problem.

28. This is a huge relief. Your feelings towards Fits' blog accurately sum up how I would feel if you ever stopped.

29. I haven't remembered to watch the book show since Christmas 2006. Putting a show on once a month is stupid. I do love the GG articles. As for the youth radio breakfast show, I don't listen much, mostly because it's hard to persuade a bus driver to switch over from Gold FM and crank it up. However, I drove to work on Monday because I was too sick to face freezing cold public transport, so I had the great pleasure of hearing Fits take an otherwise ordinary back announce of a Blues Explosion track and turn it into "He may be moving into silver fox territory but I would still TAP THAT. That was John Spencer"

I still check her blog too. I think we all do.

Perseus said...

I called everyone 'mate' for years. Then I switched to 'love' for girls for about three years. Last year I took up 'dude' for everyone, now I'm back to 'mate' for everyone. There could be a cultural reason for it, but there's not. I'm just shithouse at remembering people's names.

Magical_M said...

1. happy 360th. all milestones must be celebrated. preferably with cake.

2. me too. re fits that is.

3. i am in an internet cafe. yuk. they either smell bad or play bad music or both. whitney houston's "i will always love you" is currently blaring out over the PA. nuff said.

4. on that note, i can stay here no longer. must escape. whitney's just starting on the key change and about to start screeching higher and higher.

5. i'm glad you're still blogging. it inspires me to keep doing it too.

xx

jo_blue said...

re: 22. It's hard to let go. Will she be safe? That's the main question. If you know she will, then OK. Of course, you can't always know that for sure. I'm going to have to face this one too, in the future. I don't know what I will do then. It's a tough one.

Melba said...

dear weirdo muppet freak. thanks for the advice re nmber 22. you do remember don't you the agony of the days when i let her go to america? the drama? the rollercoaster?

well, as i did then, i do now. i asked her whether she wanted to go. i told her i wouldn't be happy about her going to turkey by herself, but i would let her go to america by herself again IF SHE WANTED TO.

she has come up with a plan to maybe go to us for a week then fly back with her dad, as he plans to come here around end feb beginning march. the problem might be that she starts school (year 7, woohoo) and can't miss even a day of sizing up the other studentos.

so that's all to be continued.

and thanks too for the how not to go crazy tips. i used precisely none of them but giggled over all.

*

hey mex, yes the book. it won't be the same. that's all. i miss the regular readings, the excitement of checking to see if there's a new post. all those blog-exclusive compulsions. IT'S A SICKNESS.

i also miss the idea, that i was part of a club, though it had grown exponentially recently - secret at first, then public.

also it was the first blog i ever read. so like that first lover: always a soft and overly idealised memory of them.

*

rowena, cherry is so awful i can't believe it. i use him as a tool (apt??) to instruct my daughters on boys to avoid in a few years.

*

ah, inc, you loverly person. thank you for all your responses. thank you most of all for saying "awesome" when you read about my tracksuit pants (purple) and skivvie (black). that made my day and made me laugh.

re the exit mould, thanks for offering to help me buy some. but i was thinking the bathroom needs a bit of work, in addition to the mould problem. like some tiles and getting the terrazzo spiffed up.

thanks also for even remembering the term yuyu and for trying to get it going. bevis tried too. maybe it's something that needs another look? the memes. maybe we could come up with a new one? i don't know, just need a little spark in my life.

and don't you think it's funny that now you're telling me to see a doctor? ah the sweet irony. if my eye socket is still strange sometime later, i will.

*

hey perseus. i don't like to be called mate by a man. i would prefer love. just so you know. i'd even prefer dude. mate is just so masculine. dude is funny because i just automatically think lebowski.

*

yay m_m. keep up the bloggy goodness.

*

hi jo, re saftey i know we've talked about these issues before. but considering she went a couple of years ago, and came back ok, and considering the order i had put on was taken off ages ago, and i have all her passports (well, both) then i figure it's ok.

i always knew it would be a part of our lives (having a non-Aus ex) but there has to be faith. if not, then he will kidnap her.

anyway, she's old enough to escape, and she's feisty enough to talk him out of it.

*

and so i am done.

Magical_M said...

whilst sitting at work last night, bored out of my brain because they'd taken the laptop away for repairs and i didn't even have a book to read, i jotted down some meme ideas.

i think i've come up with an interesting one. if i can stand the smell of this internet cafe long enough then i'll write it up now.

xo

ps - today they're playing paul young's wherever i lay my hat... i think they're well and truly stuck in the 80s.

Melba said...

m_m. i'm loving imagining you in the internet cafe with the different bad music.

i look forward to reading about the memes. i salute you for taking up the challenge.

go forth, young woman, and create memes.

Magical_M said...

I finally caved and bought new headphones for my iPod so today I am in the internet cafe happily blocking out Roberta Flack and Peabo Bryson with my music.

There is still an overwhelming stench of smelly trainers though.

xo

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