Part One - A Man's Intentions Might Seem Dodgy
Woman sends husband to video store to try to get the original Lolita (1960s version with James Mason) and also not-so-great 1997 version with master-creep Jeremy Irons.
Early-teen daughter one says: "Oh, and can you please get Little Mermaid and Cinderella while you're there?" (she is on a Disney nostalgia kick.)
Early-teen daughter two asks for Step Up and Step Up Two. Teen gymnast movies.
Husband comes back embarrassed at standing at the counter and asking for these movies. To try to counter suspicions store clerk might be developing, he also borrows Ruff Tuff and Real which sounds like porn but is in fact a nod to his own retro-nostalgic desires: legends of Australian wrestling dvd featuring Ron Miller, Mario Milano, King Curtis and Larry O'Dea.
He came back, we laughed uproariously, then I said: "Where's the first Lolita? Didn't they have it? It was out??"
Stage Two - The Reclamation of a Husband's Reputation
I called the video store, told them that my husband had just been down there asking for Lolita and could I put my name down for that when it comes in, also for the Little Mermaid.
Everything is again all right in the world.