Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Not feeling so wonderful.

No time for diaries, no time for poetry, no time for rants or musings.

It's true what they say about renovations. Even though mine are going fairly well, it seems interminable and the stress is laid out across my shoulders like some fat cat.

It's true what they say about blended families. FUCKING HARD WORK.

It's true what they say about trying to be a writer. Prepare for lots of disappointment and heartache.

Dropping my ms into an assessor tonight. Which is good. Didn't get into the course I wanted. Which is bad.

Everywhere I turn, I am assaulted with noise and I really don't like it. Skipping buddhism class today and going back to bed to read.

How are you?


jo_blue said...

Big hugs to you Melba. Going back to bed is a wonderful idea. I think I use this strategy a couple of times a week. Lucky me!


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Anonymous said...

gday melba
glad you at least posted. Been wondering...
these things in your life will change of course and in the interim can you "show us ya diary."
just a little bit.
Dave of Footscray

Wishediwastheprincess said...

Argh. I remember the hell of blended families. It's hard for all the obvious ones and a bunch of not-so-obvious ones. (Ever fall in love with your stepbrother? I didn't think so. Try breaking up with him afterwards for some serious suckage.)

If it's any consolation, it will pass with time. They will grow up and get out of your life, and you'll be able to get back to the things you want more time for now.

Chin up, going back to bed is a good plan for a day or so. Chocolate and wine also helps if you don't over-indulge.


Another Outspoken Female said...

Wondered where you are gone. Missing reading the diary but no pressure.

Renovations are hell. Can't comment on blended families except to commiserate (and muse on the last comment, falling in love with a step-brother, very Brady Bunch!)

Have you still got your job?

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magical_m said...

Big hugs and hope things start to improve! If you need a coffee or a vino or three, let me know.


Melba said...

Hello all you lovely people. Thanks for your kind words.

I'm ok. News on mum is good, it's not in her bone marrow so working out how to biopsy the cells... Suggestion is it might be different to previous.

Yes AOF I still have my job, which is good. On contract until August, then in Sept am taking Princess to Turkey for a visit. Something nice to look forward to. Have invited my mum, I hope she comes, seems we might be able to stay in Ali's village house (if it's ready: 5 bedrooms, almond orchard, swimming pool. Anyone else wanna come?) But I'll be working during the days so you'll just have to amuse yourselves in the orchard and er, the pool. We could make it like something out of Stealing Beauty. How nice.)

The blended family comment. I am such an ungrateful cow. Because the children are divine, I AM THE PROBLEM. Maybe I wasn't meant to be mother to three? I am like that old actress - who was it, Garbo? - "I just want to be left alone." It's overwhelming sometimes but I do my best.

Will try to diarise later today but I have a thumping headache now (coffee withdrawal I think, why are they the worst types of headaches?) and my friend is coming over shortly. I am going to feed him breakfast and give him coffee then we go out and do more renovation stuff. Fridays are our own personal Groundhog Day and it's doing me in. Our plasterer is being a charming shit (not doing the work, has broken some stuff) and he's one of those people who talks and is amiable and responsive but when you listen to his words, actually really listen, he's not saying much at all. I've heard about such people before and never met one or noticed.

So wish me luck as I head out on another Friday that is sure to go exactly like the previous 4. We WON'T find the tiles, but we will laugh a lot and that is a good thing.

Perseus said...

Hugs from me as well.

Don;t worry about Buddhism class. As you may recall, I was a Buddhist Monk. I'll teach you everything you need to know in under ten minutes. I'll throw in a chant at no extra charge.

Melba said...

Hey Perseus. I think I know everything there is to know about buddhism.

The thing is remembering it.

And doing it.

Just Do It.

Fucking Nike stole the best tag-line in the world. I had that written up on my roof when I was a teenager, way way before they used it.