japan part 2

i came across some notes i'd made and shoved in one of my books from japan-times.

this is a list i made, early on during my stay. there are two sheets of paper, with a line drawn down the middle. on one side, the heading "strange or bad things" and on the other "positives".

note how i somehow equalled "strange" with "bad". i don't think i think like that any more. now i like the strange, i embrace the quirky, i seek out the odd.

i guess i've grown up.

strange or bad things:

• staring on trains, everywhere!
  rude to eat or drink in public
• slow walking
• banks, post offices, etc really slow, inefficient
• sniffing and hawking
• pissing on the street
• women let men sit down on trains. men don't give their seats to the elderly
• squat toilets
• women laugh and eat behind their hands
• no public affection
• fruit and vegies so expensive
• no birds (but they have crows)
• crazy drivers, no footpaths
• people don't give way on the street. Bump into people, don't say sorry.
• 180% squashing on trains
• no brown bread
• pins and needles from sitting on the floor too long
• cold showers
• hard pillows
• bikes ridden on pedestrian walk
• so inquisitive, want to know everything
• pollution
• over-packaging of food
• flowers expensive, $1 for a single stem (eg daisy)
• tasteless toothpaste
• newspapers expensive, ¥120-160 for flimsy 6-10 sheets
• $6-7 for a beer in bars
• long-staying gaijin turn Japanese
• Cosmopolitan mag costs $15
• no ovens
• Tokyo suicide line
• Japanese game shows
• 1 yen coins - nuisance
• no pepper in restaurants
• sewer smells on street
• only hair colour in shops is black
• separate slippers for balconies and toilets
• people sleeping on trains
• gloved train stuffers
• gloved taxi drivers with automatic doors and pristine white seat covers
• vending machines (condoms, beer, wine, cigarettes, batteries, porn movies, hamburgers, hot and cold drinks. Beer open until 11, 11.30, midnight.
• taped "I've been working on the railroad" soundtrack on the Hanshin train line
• short ironing boards
• tiny houses/flats
• kids go to school 6 days
• militant boys black school uniforms with brass buttons and inch-long haircuts
• girls' bucked teeth
• old men wearing pantyhose
• alcohol stench on trains
• cooking with gas only
• if moving into a new flat, you give 3-4 neighbours white towels and soaps
• take gifts if invited to a meal
• suit system: begin a new job with a company, start with blue suit. colour graded thereafter.
• men: affected speech where their intonation goes down saying "horrrrr" when responding to something amazing or interesting or unbelievable
• women: affected speech where their intonation goes up saying "mmmmm" like a plane taking off, in the same instances as above.
• family sleeping together eg. mother, father, 13-year-old daughter, all in one room.
• all the men have a little wallet/carry bag
• women carry one small shoulder bag and one large store paper bag with handles carried in crook of arm
• women have amazing skin - so youthful
• overstaffing in shops
• tiny shorts on boys - hight-cut and horrible
• taking shoes off everywhere
• pandering to children, especially boys
• 98% literacy but everybody reads comics on trains, even businessmen

positives:

• tissue packs handed out on streat
• trains efficient
• clean
• safe
• food
• cheap shoes
• cheap cigarettes
• companies pay for employees' transportation
• gomi system
• nice pastries
• cheap ice creams (nice)
• tap water okay
• cheap spirits
• food presentation in restaurants is superb
• bentos
• hot towels
• heated toilet seats
• mood lighting (3 phase, including candle light)
• sliced bread is so thick, the equivalent of 2 slices at home
• consumer society
• everyone well groomed and nicely dressed
• nice yoghurt
• specially marked arrows, circles and triangles on platforms at train stations. Depending on which train is arriving, you stand at a certain symbol to line up. Everybody follows the system.

interesting how most of my positive points are to do with food, drink and other vices. i love the appearance of "cheap shoes" at number 6 on the list. and free tissue packs at number 1.

japan's wonderful englishes*

* with apologies to our dearly departed friend, gianluca di milano.

i've worked out a way to blog about the trip without boring everyone, including myself, senseless.

i hope.

i will pick a photo from the holiday and use it as a springboard to get myself started.

and let's start with japan - osaka to be precise, and creap.





















"for relaxing coffee time your guest can enjoy its stylish design

stick creap will give you a splendid time"

creap is powdered cream that you put in your coffee, or tea. we saw this when we stayed at my japanese friend's parents' "retirement village" down near kobe. the place was called charming square, and let me tell you, no chance of even one bed sore in this place.

we stayed there a night in one of the guest apartments, it was very luxurious, and we visited the onsite onsen (japanese baths/hot springs) and the dining room, where the food was very kai-seki -traditional kyoto food, presented most beautifully.

in the onsen, i was surrounded by tiny naked old japanese women, one of whom was asking questions to me, through my friend mayumi. i hadn't bought a correct wash-cloth, and i was standing there with a tiny fabric skerrick of nothing, trying to remain as modest as possible while this cute little button of a 90-year-old was asking me about O-su-tu-ralia. you'd think my almost 3 years in japan in the early nineties would have sufficiently cultured-me-up enough to avoid the embarrassing gaijin gaffs that foreigners make in the land of the rising sun.

not so. it took about 3 hours of being in the country before i started feeling that old feeling again. big. awkward. clumsy.

we were there only 4 days or so. we packed in so much. we ate. we drank. we walked, oh god we walked. and we sweated in the humidity. we visited bearing gifts. we nodded. we bowed. princess told me she wouldn't "bow for anyone". then after a few hours of being in a land where everyone bows, she told me she was doing it without knowing, and couldn't stop herself. it's like that there.

we went crazy in a toy store and came home with a whole bunch each of tiny tiny miniature plastic things, like trays of sushi with miniscule chopsticks, all different types of food.














i even bought a plastic display case.

random diary excerpt from japan - friday 17-12-93

----------

Stayed in front of the heater all day, reading Shogun. The descriptions of the courtesans and their "practices" are fascinating. One quote re:

Always remember, that to think bad thoughts is really the easiest thing in the world. If you leave your mind to itself it will spiral you down into ever-increasing unhappiness. To think good thought, however, requires effort... So train your mind to dwell on sweet perfumes, the touch of this silk, the tender raindrops against the shoji, the curve of this flower arrangemenr, the tranquility of dawn. Then, at length, you won't have to make such a great effort, and you will be of value to yourself...*

I like the idea of being simple and aesthetically aware. Japanese are very aesthetically aware, eg. hanami, moon viewing, ikebana, kimono, rock gardens etc.

It feels like the most civilised country on earth; everything is very ordered and precise. But I find it soulless: I like passion and a touch of chaos, emotion and energy. Japan is not like that for me...

Tonight I met Takashi at NHK. We took a taxi to Shinsaibashi, to Hozenji Suji, a famous street of traditional inns and restaurants - narrow cobbled paths, lanterns. It was gorgeous. Our restaurant was a well-known place - we had a private room upstairs and ate mini nabes, fried oysters, sashimi, flounder, wild duck. The food was delicious. After, Mr Ogami had to go home as he's playing golf early tomorrow. Takashi and I went to Hozenji Temple and ate a special dessert - sweet bean soup with mochi - which is said to bring married couples happiness (if shared together). **

At the temple, we prayed*** and I got a fortune. Takashi translated. It was full of warnings. To be careful when travelling. To be careful not to desire something beyond my control. That if I or a friend is ill, it would be difficult to cure. That if I try to take care etc etc I'll be rewarded with limited happiness.

Great. So I tied this piece of paper to the rope to improve my fortune. Then we went and played Pachinko, 1,000 YEN bought maybe 40 or 50 balls. They all disappeared pretty quickly. I saw some people with trays of balls under their seats. The professional Pachinkas (as they're called.)

Hitoshi called today and asked me if I'd sing at his wedding. I firmly declined. He asked me to make a speech so I said I'd do that. But god only knows why - token whitey? - and it'll probably all be Japanese people, don't know how many will be there or anything. I'll have to learn some appropriate Japanese phrases.

I'm not allowed to put water down the sink or use the shower. Damn. Some pipe problem. Did I write about this oilier? Yeah, I did. God I'm boring. I really wonder if anyone would ever manage to read all their way through the entirety of all my scribblings. I'm sure they'd commit seppuku about 1/2 way through.





* lesson here - do not be dismissive of clavell.

** at that time I was not married to Takashi. I can't even remember who he was, but probably a student of mine from NHK. I remember Mr Ogami. I'm reading this and wondering whether Takashi had hopes of a romance with me? If so, I was completely unaware at the time.


*** this would have been me being polite and "culturally immersed".

honesty

this post was inspired by gianluca's thorough and very apt treatment of english grammar.


when i was living in japan, i taught what we called "pilot's english". this would involve sometimes going to the airport and testing pilot applicants in their level of english. we would sit there, me and two other guys also from australia, called mark and paul. to relieve the tedium of listening to rote interview responses, for hours and hours over a period of days, mark came up with the idea that we teachers were all POWs, being held in japan, and being forced to work in an english school.

this led to us having names, i was nurse melbournegirl, and would have to look out for dysentery and fever and mark was lance corporal. the senior teacher, jay, was the major-general and the director of studies, alex, was the brigadier.

this also led us to leaving elaborate notes for each other in the pigeon holes back at school, some of which i still have. things like:

dear nurse melbournegirl. we're on rations now, and the buggars have extended my contract so i'm here for another year at least. troop morale is at an all-time low. damn this war!

dear lance, supplies of penicillin are getting low, and there's been an outbreak of typhoid. i just don't know how long i can keep going. damn this war!


sometimes we would have the pilot applicants come to the school for the interview. it was one of these that provided me with a memory i've never forgotten.

as part of the interview, we had to ask about interests and hobbies. we would always get the same old fucking answers - i like rock and roll music. i'm interested in baseball and soccer. i enjoy very much playing the guitar.

the applicants would bow into the room, and sometimes bow out of the room, backing away from the table behind which i sat, slowly inching to the exit. it was excruciating to watch.

so here i was in one of the interviews. going through the motions. nothing spectacular about this one, i'm thinking. ordinary, blah, boring.

until we get to the hobbies and interests part of the interview.

me: so, what music do you like?

[stifles yawn. looks out window. wishes window would open. i'm dying here. i can't breathe. i hate japan.]

pilot applicant # 86: do you know billy joh-el?

me [interest piqued]: yes, i do.

pilot applicant # 86: i like billy joh-el.

me: so do i.

pa #86: my fabrite song honesty. do you know honesty?

me: yes, i love honesty.

pa: may i sing it for you?


what could i say, dear readers. of COURSE he could sing it for me.


pilot:
If you search for tenderness
It isn't hard to find
You can have the love you need to live
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind
It always seems to be so hard to give


me and pilot:
Honesty
is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you


i expect him to finish here.

he doesn't.


pilot:
I can always find someone
To say they sympathize
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve
But I don't want some pretty face
To tell me pretty lies
All I want is someone to believe

me and pilot:
Honesty
is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you


now we're done. no, we're not.



pilot:
I can find a lover
I can find a friend
I can have security
Until the bitter end
Anyone can comfort me
With promises again
I know,
I know

When I'm deep inside of me
Don't be too concerned
I won't ask for nothin' while I'm gone
But when I want sincerity
Tell me where else can I turn
Because you're the only one that I depend on

me and pilot:
Honesty is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you


i gave him the top mark. and told him, honestly, that he would make an excellent pilot.