Sunday, March 29, 2009

so maybe i've got myself a stalker?

i know i shouldn't joke, but today the doorbell rang and there on the doorstep was joe.

he had some literature for me to read. it contains information which is basically conspiracy theory stuff, and incoherently written holocaust denial-type stuff.


so, i'm an idiot for telling my neighbour exactly where i live. if i disappear, you'll know what happened. but seriously, i think he likes me.

okay. so, maybe i shouldn't have indulged him and been so friendly on the street, and i have to work out what will be the point where i let him know i don't share his ideas? i was joking with clokes that i would sleep with him for a million bucks. clokes thought that was too low, but i said no way, i would, i wouldn't even stop to think. it's funny, we might joke about it, but i see a little spark of worry in clokes' eye.

also, something weird and a bit spooky. whenever someone comes to the door, and it can be anyone, gigi is always there trying to push past me to say hello. she is so annoying like that. well, today, she didn't want a bar of joe. i felt her come and take a look from behind me, and then she went back to lie down or whatever.

she knows. she knows who he is and what his anti-semitic inclinations are.

so he told me to read the stuff, a couple of very thin news-sheets and a newsletter, it's for my "personal protection" (all sorts of stuff about banking, and political manipulations etc, particularly hard on dick cheney, and alot of stuff about gaza) and when i offered to return it when i finished - hoping to get the number of where he lives - he said to give it to a friend.

sure, spread the goodness.

when i asked him how he was coping with the grand prix planes overhead, he said "it's not loud enough!" [funny] and "it's like they want us to get used to them, for when there's the next war..." [not so funny].

i swear, this guy is pretty full on, but he's softly spoken and genteel and likeable; he has a sneaky charisma that i find myself responding to. i like his jaunty cap, it's like a baker boy, and you know what, he has the bluest eyes, and they're not old-man eyes. there's not a blood vessel, no filminess, no rheumy milkiness. very, very weird.

so that's my wrap up for sunday night. i was going to post about the things i cooked today (awesome lunchtime pasta with slut sauce (puttanesca) including truffle oil that we got in florence and which has a use-by date of tuesday; also a chicken and leek pie for dinner - also awesome; about princess returning from her weekend in sydney (she ate at icebergs, it wasn't so great she said but her dad managed to bluff his way into the private area) but i can't be bothered. i'm tired, my grammar is shite, i want to go to bed now and either read the january '09 marie clair i found in one of the rubbish bins downstairs this morning or the gathering by anne enright, which i'm really enjoying. i'm hoping it doesn't disappoint plot-wise, but gee she does write quite beautifully.

happy sunday night, dear reader.



jo_blue said...

Joe does sound a bit intense, but the gigi didn't growl did she, so maybe he's harmless. Dogs know these things, I think. If Joe was dangerous, the gigi'd be up and around trying to protect you. Still, I'd keep him at arms length.

Take care.


Glad Princess is back with you.

Perseus said...

Sounds like he's in the CEC (Citizens Electoral Council). They contest every election and I take great delight in putting them below even One Nation.

Personally, I have no time for conspiracy theorists. They make me stabby.

Melba said...

Jo - Gigi wouldn't growl at anyone, unless they were wearing a possum suit. And as for protecting me? She'd push me out of the way, making me fall over, in her haste to get to the rapist/murderer for a pat!

Perseus, you are spot on. The two news-sheets are CEC.

What is it about conspiracy theorists exactly that make you stabby? Some, like people who say the holocaust didn't happen, make me angry, but others who believe in aliens and that the governments are keeping it all from us, I don't really care either way about them.

Melba said...

And so you wouldn't fuck one for a cool mill?

Perseus said...

If she was hot, I'd fuck a conspiracy theorist for a ham sandwich.

But that's not the point.

They pollute the intellectual world.

There is a very serious concern that in 100 years, the holocaust's occurrence may be thought to be questionable because of the strong PR work of nutcases like Joe.

That's why historians refuse to debate holocaust deniers... because it infers there is a debate to be had. When really, there is not. It happened.

sublime-ation said...

Well, we all know Gigi has good taste in humans, remember how much she loved Ro?
So I think her polite dismissal of him speaks volumes.
This post is better without Icebergs anyway (not discounting Princess), it's got a great a view, that's all.

Melba said...

Ok, then I will have to rethink my affair with him, Persey. I agree completely with the "do-not-engage" principle with holocaust deniers and Jew haters. Thanks for your moral/sexual guidance. I must be completely blameless when I face the Maker. Just a little atheistic joke there. I've had a glass of wine, sorry.

And Icebergs, Princess wasn't that impressed. She's like that 12 year old kid in New York who reviews restaurants I read about today - "I think the octopus is being overpowered by the other flavours in this dish" - complete prat but really funny. I clipped the article.

On Ali and his girlfriend, because I know Sublime you are interested and you have the background: she is gorgeous, like some wonderful gypsy dancer with long swishing skirts, a nose ring, long black hair, arched brows, flashing eyes, she is so beautiful and I'm quite pissed off that my ex-husband can still pull such a chick at the age of 41. But he's a real spunk too.

She's also very nice and earthy and we were hugging and kissing on hellos and goodbyes within about 1 minute of meeting and he's out in the cold. Some sort of perverse revenge there on my case? YES.

groverjones said...

Hello from Killarney,

I, too, had a ravioli puttanesca, made from fresh pasta from Cork market. Fantastic, but trying to park a 3m tall campervan in Cork is another story.

Your Nazi sounds lik But e a well-meaning sort of evil bastard, of the 'when the world finally sees sense, they'll all agree with me' ilk. I'd probably go there with Mrs Goebbels for a cool $1m.

Also, I am reading The Gathering too. Ms Grover got it as a thank you when she finished work over here, and I stole it. It's a great read in the first 80 pages.

If you can get a hold of Milleen's Cheese (try Richmond Hill) give it a go. we went there today but couldn't get any due to pregnancies and soft cheese restrictions. The guy who makes it is a retired philosophy professor. It's pongy and gooey. Mmmmm!

squib said...

I have a (VERY) close relative who is a conspiracy theorist. I think this person is mentally ill

Talking of which, I have a dear old friend of the family who keeps sending me Awake! and Watchtower magazines. She sent me SIX last time. I was going to make them into a papier mache bowl and send it back but my mum said I'm not allowed :(

I think it would be tres kitsch and groovy myself

volcano said...

maybe your dog is secretly jewish?

and you should totally fuck him for a mill. what a novelty hook up, 'the old rich closet nazi neighbour who is responsible for me living my life in relative comfort for the next many years'!