Sunday, July 14, 2013

I'm back, and talk about feral

1. I have a dreadlock and while that in itself is pretty rank, what's even ranker is I didn't realise until yesterday. YESTERDAY. This is a thing that's as thick as a sausage and is so tightly bound up it makes that section of my hair look a full 4 inches shorter.* Today I intend to get in the shower with plenty of conditioner and a wide-tooth comb. And take care of it. I promise.

2. I have no clean underwear. Which means I own precisely 15 pairs of undies.

3. I just realised both my bras need a wash too. And I'm teaching in two days. And I've already done three loads of washing. Maybe I can wear my sports bra.

4. My bowels were bad for a full ten days then they started to go to normal, very quickly. The good thing is that I didn't drink alcohol for that time. The bad thing is I couldn't try the Tuna Tartare and artichoke salad until yesterday.

5. I didn't get sunburned which is good cause I'm getting a thingy cut out on Friday from my back. It's the second thingy, it's not a bad thingy, just one of those basal cell thingies.

6. We watched the Tour every night on the Eurosport station. Commentators Carlton Kirby (come to think of it, I didn't get to see what he looks like.) To google...

Hey, exactly what I imagined.

 And Sean Kelly, we did see. He is hilarious and made us laugh every time he was on.

That's Sean on the left below, he rocks when he speaks and does not have eye contact with anyone other than the road when he talks. We love him. On the right hand side is the unintelligible someone else who does interviews and then there's a really annoying girl who gets flirty eyes with the spunky riders, especially Marcel Kittel.

Princess loved sprinter Sagan last year but has dropped him to go for Kittel. I think this is partly because Sagan has a bad facial hair situation going on, and partly because Kittel looks like this:

 Princess: He's a hot Aryan. I love him.

Come on, she's 16. This is to be expected, I suppose.

The other big thing was we realised that Cadel's chin cleft is angled which is very disconcerting. I am still hopeful he will 'do something' but Princess has moved on.

So tonight we have to make do with SBS, and two hours later. It's going to be tough but I'm determined. This week is mountain week and it will be exciting and then on Saturday we have our usual TdeF meal with my sis and bro-in-law all the talk is chamois and sticky bibons, who is pottier (Carlton versus Phil Liggett) and who has the calves which can best be compared to the size and hardness of frozen chickens (probably Andre Greipel.) We will eat, I think, duck cassoulet, eat some French cheese and drink some French wine. Dessert is undecided but I will let you know, bien sur.

* I had dreadlocks in my early 20s for a period of about 6 months. I just stopped brushing my hair and kept washing it and they started. I thought I'd have to get them cut out when I was sick of them but in fact managed to comb them out. It took all day, in sessions, and much patience. When I told this to Princess she almost gagged and physically recoiled when I made her touch my dreadlock.

P: OH, you were one of those people.
Me: I was one of those people BEFORE those people existed.
P: Those people have always existed, Mum.


M said...

I'm really impressed you were able to comb out your dreds!

Love the holiday underwear situation. I've just realised the same about my undies. I have one pair left for tomorrow. I suppose I should get washing..

Anonymous said...

Good to hear everything went so well (except for the bowels), and you didn't once get assaulted, robbed, molested or poisoned.

Questions and comments:

Maybe I can wear my sports bra.

So long as it fits good and is comfortable, why not? Sports bras are one of mankind's greatest inventions.

Also, you own fifteen pair of underdacks but only three bras?

a really annoying girl who gets flirty eyes with the spunky riders

... eh? I might know what you meant if I saw it, but I dunno. It reminds me of sitting in pubs listening to pissed mates saying shit like "If that bitch keeps looking at him like that I'm gonna fuckin' sort her out". Might be that I'm just crap at decoding body language, too.

Sagan has a bad facial hair situation going on

Yeah, what's the go with all that these days? I grew up around bearded blokes and prefer a bit of fur to the hairless look, but so many young fellas these days seem incapable of growing anything proper. Is it all the low-level radiation we have today or what?

Princess: He's a hot Aryan. I love him.

That had me holding my sides. He's far too young and pretty for me to find him appealing, but I can see the attraction for a sixteen-year-old.

we realised that Cadel's chin cleft is angled which is very disconcerting. I am still hopeful he will 'do something'

About his chin?

I never had dreads, but I did have very, very long hair. In hindsight, maintaining it seems like such a time-consuming pain in the arse. Shaved head was much more liberating.

Melba said...

Hi Alex let me answer your questions. I managed the bra situation, I think I just didn't wash and wore the dirty one(s). Yes I have two non-sports bra bras. And all those undies. None of them match. I have a black bra and a flesh-coloured one. They suit all my needs and get washed once a week or every two weeks. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG? I am a bit of grub, I've said that before. I can get quite feral.

The dreadlock is gone, by the way. It only took a disappointing half hour to comb out. Failed Rasta.

The other (more) annoying thing about the flirty girl was her questions were so inane and stupid. I don't know why she was even in the job. Don't worry, I wasn't being protective and jealous of Kittel.

Speaking of Kittel, we haven't seen him since then. Too many mountains, he hasn't been sighted.

Funny about Cadel's chin - no, not about his chin. Do something about the mountains and the race but now, all these days later I can report: he hasn't done anything. About anything. He commented that going in the Italian Tour probably wasn't a good idea (or following it with the French Tour; he came second in the Italian race and it only finished a few weeks before the French one I think. He's too tired.)

I've never had a shaved head. Pray do tell more.

Anonymous said...

Two weeks worth of knickers seems about right and I wouldn't worry about matching anything. I mean, generally, anyone who's going to see you in your undies isn't going to be critiquing your fashion sense, right? And if they are, fuck 'em.

But two (of even three) bras just sounded like a low number to me.

Coming from a climate and lifestyle where profuse perspiration was the norm, I've always been in the habit of tossing mine into the dirty-clothes at the end of each day.

I suppose you get more wears out of them before they lose their shape if you wash them less; so I can see the economic rationale, as long as it doesn't mean having something strapped to your body that's encrusted with dirt and salt and smells like week-old arm-pit or stale arse-crack.

It makes me wonder how far I am from the usual on this. I'd be interested in knowing how other ladies weigh in.

On the shaved head; I did that after many years of having hair that was very very long. I guess it would have been around the early 90s, when there seemed to be a lot of women in popular culture with short or shaved hair (Sinead O'Connor, Roxette, and most notably for me, Sigourney Weaver) so it wasn't, like, ground-breaking or anything. But anyway, it was so nice not to have to brush knots out of it, or pluck great slimy messes out of the drains, and most importantly, it was so much cooler in summer, that I've pretty much kept it short ever since. I would suggest for anyone to try it at least once in their lives.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Annie Lennox was another one. Sure there where others, too.

Melba said...

So how many bras do you have, Alex? I always thought 2 or 3 normal ones was adequate, and certainly never throw them in the dirty linen after one wear! Undies yes, bras no. Now I'm wondering if I'm doing it wrong.

In my younger years when I cared about having appealing underwear, I used to have day-to-day items which would be non-sexy undies and non-sexy bras, and these were mix and match, meaning never were in pairs. But a black bra, a white bra maybe and a flesh-coloured. Then a sports bra. And then any number of 'sets' - matching bra and undies. These days though when I don't care and there's no 'displaying' going on, I don't wear anything fancy other than maybe a pair of control pants if I go out somewhere nice and want/care that my stomach be a *little* bit sucked in.

You know this stuff is all very interesting. Now, please, your inventory.


Demi Moore was another one. She was in a movie GI Jane and shaved her head for real. A friend of my daughter's wanted to shave her head for cancer, asked the school if it was okay and was told no, it was not okay. I thought this was pretty bad. The reasoning: then everyone will do it. He has no idea that teenage girls will not shave their heads. Boys, possibly, but what's wrong with that anyway? It's a bit of a conservative school in some ways, even though it has the rep for being more 'out there.'

Melba said...

And Hi M and welcome. Sorry lost your comment there.

I have the feeling we know each other. I looked at your blog, you've been around a while and I recognise your avatar pic. Has your name changed? Thanks for visiting and commenting.

Anonymous said...

I remember GI Jane, but I think that might've come out a bit latter on.

Having to talk to the school about shaving your head seems strange to me. Even in my day, I don't think it would've been any of the school's concern. But then, I went to state school. Boarding school might be different. I remember my brothers talking about stricter regulations to do with appearance.

I also have the "nice" black, white & beige numbers for wearing with the "nice" clothes, sitting up the "nice" end of my cupboard -- that I never really wear, because I can't be arsed looking "nice" anymore, even when I probably should. I have a couple of really good sports bras for running and other "high-bounce" activities. Then I have about a dozen cheaper, comfortable-but-less-robust sports-type bras for general day-to-day use. Admittedly, some of those are probably getting past their used-by date.

I dunno, maybe I'm the one that's doing something wrong, but then, I do exercise every day, and I'm usually a ball of sweat by the time I hop in the shower. I don't think I'd want to be putting anything back on the next morning. It is interesting to hear what other people do differently though.

Anonymous said...

Also saw this today.

Thought you might appreciate it, if you haven't seen it already.

Melba said...

Wow that video. Hadn't seen it. Just wow. Good luck to her, what a kid.

re our bras, I think, like everything women do, we should be able to manage our bras our way? Power to women, free choice about bras. And that.