Saturday, September 07, 2013


I can't promise much I don't think but let's see what evolves?

Well, let's get started with a sausage sizzle, some Cheezels and a beer, yes?


Fuck. It's happening isn't it?

3:46PM Ramon has arrived; Alex has made an 'enquiry' about my sister. The party has started! Sarah is here all the way from Albany too. Geelong seem to be struggling a little, and I have just come back from getting Princess and a few friends after their rained-out picnic. And because they gorged on crap (as well as all the chicken sandwiches I made), it means there are leftovers for the football people down the back of the house:


 So. I guess we wait?

Couldn't find cheese in a biscuit.

But I have dance music Alex:

And non-reluctant dancing dude:


Anonymous said...

Party. Woo.

Just think of me as that surly, hard-faced sheila who started drinking at breakfast and could go to water at any moment. Can't have a party without one of those, eh?

Watching Rolly & Virg this morning. It's a funny thing, this all-day election "coverage". There's not anything happening to actually "cover", and everyone's absolutely certain that Abbott's a shoe-in, so there's not even a hyped-up sense of faux tension. It's just this meandering conversation that swings between "what happened to Labor?" and "What'll the ALP opposition be like under Shorten?".

I can't put my finger on it, but the coverage of this entire campaign has had a weird feeling about it. Less serious? More cynical and snarky?

Oh, they're having a go at that Julian Assange video. Piss off. Like him or not, that video was bloody great.

Be nice if there was coverage from a sort of modern political version of Roy & H.G. or something, that I could switch to. At least they know how to get that kind of back-handed mockery right. Mmmm, yeah, that'd really go down well right now.

sarah toa said...

Right there with you Alex and Melba, in spirit anyway.

Anonymous said...

Hey Sarah, good to have your spirit with us. We'll probably need all the spirits we can get by the end of the night.

What's your body up to today? Voted yet? How did it go?

Melba said...

Well just got back from voting. Accosted by blowsy Sex Party brunette. Took Greens literature, saw GetUp were there, stopped and had a chat to them, took their literature. Waved away Mister Liberal (I take delight in doing that. YOu know how some people take all the papers and others take none, trying to be secretive? I'm not like that.

Ms Sex Party says: Do you know our policies? (When I say no thanks to her brochure).

Me: Yes I know your policies.



Mr Liberal: Oh they don't have anyone here.


So it's done.

I'm trying to decide two more things for the day, or three.

1. What do I drink tonight?
2. Do I attempt moderation or not?
3. Do I stay up at my sister's place for the night?

Numbers two and three are linked.

Anonymous said...

How does your sister swing?

Anonymous said...

... by which I mean, what are her political leanings?

Because that's important for making these decisions.

That wasn't an attempt at a Don reference. Honest.

Anonymous said...

Just saw some "man-on-the-street" interviews from Melbourne.

Is your footy team in the finals or something, Melbs?

Looks like Tone has started his victory rounds already. Rudd has shut himself away to brood.

Both got heckled by pro-refugee protestors when they went to vote.

Fuck, the ABC coverage has been bland since Virge & Rolly signed off. Get to the fucking count already!

Anonymous said...

Went and had a look at Twitter to try and find some life and colour. 'cause that's where you go for this stuff now, innit? #1950HereWeCome gave a couple of laughs.

Catherine Deveny: All women must surrender their bank accounts and drivers licences on Monday before they put the washing on the line

Debbie Frail (profile pic of indigenous woman): Monday sweepn dirt floor in my humpy while mission manager give me 1lb flour 1lb sugar 1lb tea

Not bad, but I still don't see what all the fuss is about (re: twitter).

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Sup, comrades

Anonymous said...

Glad you could make it Ramon. I've been here raving to myself like a fuckin' lunatic.

How have things been on your end today?

Melba said...


Ramon is in the house. Oh yes.

My sister, Alex, doesn't swing if you mean between the two major parties. She's like me. Staunch ALP-cum-disillusioned person now voting for Greens. Not sure if she'd go as far as Wikileaks.

Yes, Geelong are playing in Finals right now. Just behind Freo I think it is. I'm not watching.

Will update pics as we go along. Maybe.

And I link I just saw on twitter. Disgraceful Coalition responses contained therein.

Melba said...

Oh the link. Check it:

Arts and Entertainment

Anonymous said...

In that case, staying with your sis might not be a bad thing. Emotional support and not much chance of a punch-up.

I would choose something with fairly low alcohol content, because there will probably be an urge to hit it hard.

Melba said...

A punch up. God. We have never had a punch up in our family. Ever. My ex-husband was the person to do that sort of thing, but still he never did with anyone in my family. We are all too civilised/reserved. We don't even get into arguments much.

About staying, yeah, but I'd only stay if I drank too much to drive and I don't want to drink too much to drive and don't want to stay. Neither of those 'don't wants' however are guaranteed to prevent me from doing either of those things.

I think you know what I'm saying.

Also being 'up there' in 'that environment' where she and my bro-in-law can hit it hard, means that I get carried along because I'm not strong enough, once I get a taste, to be moderate.

So. Maybe champagne. And lots of sparkling water and a firm decision to drive home.

I will check in on that.

What are you doing in between comments?

Melba said...

Alex, Ramon's having a party too. but it seems it might be a dud party. No defamation. (!) And an anti-wikileak sentiment too.

Anonymous said...

So now we've got two parties going. Bugger me.

I know exactly what you mean by getting swept along and getting out of control once you get a taste. It's why I've been dry for the last few years. Am seriously tempted to run down the bottle-o though.

I'm listening to the ABC's shit coverage and doodling new avatar ideas. Since the current one will be useless tomorrow. You?

Melba said...

Flicking around social media stuff, checking footy score, doing a little editing.

I've been very dry recently, on a health kick, so don't want to spoil my good run tonight. Last time I was at their house and stayed the night I had a hangover the next day PLUS a terrible night's sleep. It's better if I come home, I know that BUT if I end up having a fun time and dancing to Rage then I have the option to stay. I think I'll play it loose.

Looks like cats might lose but they're not out if they do. The people down the back of the house are going for Freo cause then it's better for Collingwood.


Will you new avatar still include the word "cunt"?

[Heading to Ramon's. See if there's any food.]

Melba said...

It's a dud at TSFKA. And Geelong lost. Blech.

Oh well. Need to start thinking about moving locations. Will drive north, avoid Punt Road. It would be funny, if I knew where Ramon lived I could knock on his door and scare the shit out of him.

Anonymous said...

Ask and you shall receive, it seems. Little cuz from down the road just swung by with a carton of goldies.

"Hey, auntie Alley. Goin' out with some mates. I know you're off the grog, but I saw the news and thought you might need these".

Bless her little heart. This might get ugly. Thankfully they're only mid-strength.

Just heard the Cats lost. Sorry to hear it's looking like a doubly shit night for you.

Haven't got a new avatar idea with a "cunt" in it yet. Few "fucks" though. The night is young.

Anything interesting going on at Ramon's. I might have a few drinks and head over there to try and dance awkwardly with some reluctant fellas.

squib said...

Since I filled out the wrong form and therefore can't vote, I'm just here for the Cheezels. There's a shop here that sells oz food but they are ALL OUT OF Arnott's cheese shapes, so what am I supposed to do, eh? I notice they sell Cheese In A Biskit - are these even remotely the same? I don't know. PS. I always gave the Liberal flyer hander outers the cold shoulder too Melbs, along with a hmmphy glare like how *dare* you approach me

Anonymous said...

Ah, just saw your last comment. Bugger. Well, might go over for a look anyway.

You reckon Ramon would be at home on a night like this?

Anonymous said...

Squib, I seem to remember chicken in a biscuit being alright. Dunno about cheese.

Looks like you timed your overseas departure just right. I hear New Zealand passed new legislation the other day to make it much harder to patent software. Might have to consider a long working holiday with my rellies there.

What's happening in you neck of the woods, by the way?

Anonymous said...

Also heard WA might buck the national trend and swing back toward the ALP, so I don't blame you for anything, Squib.

Melba said...

Ramon said he would be home drunk. I thought. There's not even any music on over there, Alex, so I don't know about dancing at all, let alone awkwardly. Without music it would defo be awkward.

HEY SQUIB! I have chicken in a biscuit and cheese in a biscuit.

'We have both types.' (Pick the movie reference.)

See the pics in the main post.

squib said...

well I've not heard the woodpecker for a while but the owl is back... because my neck of the woods really is a wood. Things still sucking big time on the housing front, thinking of buying a damp, dodgy cottage that no one wants (just needs new roof,lecky, pipes, bathrooms, kitchen, boiler,windows, paint job, carpet ripping up, walls knocking through, small extension and a hooj retaining wall...)

Never thought I'd say this but I'm just so proud to be a sandgroper

Melbs, read your story - really great and well done again, you. I don't know the movie, er should I? Chicken's out cos I'm pescatarian. For 25 years now. Sometimes when I'm making rolls for Squib family I have to fight a weird urge to stuff a roast beef slice in my gob but that's my low iron talking

Anonymous said...

You should never be ashamed of being from WA. Loved it when I was there. Reckon I'll probably go back for me twilight years.

Me mum and dad have been watchin' these pommy home reno' shows when they come to visit (which is often) and I can't believe how much people pay for tiny, shitty houses.

Must be gettin' tipsy. Me "g's" are droppin' off and I've forgotten how to use the word "my".

Also, got me doubts about whether there's any actual chicken in chick in a buscuit.

Anonymous said...

I just noticed there's stuff bein' added to the post as we go. Fairy bread looks good. Tone does not.

Alex has made an 'enquiry' about my sister.

Since I've been gettin' in shape and musclin' up, and I haven't had a bloke on me arm in a few years, it's become a more-than-behind-my-back joke in my family that I'm a closet lesbian.*

Looks like I've just successfully extended that to me online persona as well. Good'o.

*Not that I'm bothered in the slightest.

sarah toa said...

I'm having a party on my own. Lit the fire. I was supposed to be heading way out bush to Cranbrook (you know it Alex?) to camp and commiserate with mates.
But it is raining, the sky is crying serious, and I hate driving 40 minutes in the rain to sit in the rain, so I messaged them and said I was bailing. I just don't want to get out of these ugg boots. And I got my period this morning.
They messaged back and sent a photograph of their camp complete with three fires and yummy male I have been eyeing lately. Agh.

I voted this morn (I love your blowsy reference Melba. I really like that word.)below the line like a good thing. Unfortunately when I got to the end of the 62 candidates I only got to number 61. Fuck.
But I did get to show Stormboy the local lineup, which was cool because he will be a voter in the next election.
"Have you ever seen a bigger list of cranks?" I asked him.

sarah toa said...

And yay to the Westies! Though our ALP guy for O Connor has been very mysterious the last few weeks. I didn't even know who the candidate was until about 2 days ago. One of my friends at the local abc said he never answers her calls or entreaties. Strange behaviour for a pollie.
Hi Squib. :~)

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear you mighta missed out on havin' somethin' good on a night like tonight, Sarah; but hey, party on with us, eh?

Me rellies in the south-west corner are mostly in the satellite regions around Freo, but I'm acquainted with Cranbrook. I dunno if I'd describe it as "way out bush". Big state. Lotsa desert country.

Glad to hear you take your preferences seriously. I think I heard Greeny the election guru on Ch 2 once say that even if you fuck up your form a little bit, they'll count your preferences up 'til the point you made the mistake. Dunno if that's actually true, though. Anyone know for sure?


The whole "dodge the press" thing seems to have made TA PM. So I wouldn't knock it at this point.

Anonymous said...

Started flicking through the channels:

ABC: Dry. Dour. Depressing.
Se7en: Feels like brekky news.
Nein: Fuck off.
Ten: Hey, Hey, It's Saturday.

Caught an interview with Beattie. Possibly the only seat in the country that I'm happy to see Labor lose. Still have no idea why they brought him in. The man is loathed up here in QLD. Would be like running Eddie O'Bied (spelling?) in NSW.

Anonymous said...

Ugh, just realised 7 has Paul Howes, Christopher Pyne & Alexander Downer on the same panel. Apparently they don't want people to watch.

Anonymous said...

Jesus, Barnaby Rubble has taken New England. Come on NSW. You're better than that.

Anonymous said...

And Katter might lose to the fuckin' LNP, as well. Oh, come on QLD; you too.

Anonymous said...

But Sophie Mirabella still on the ropes.

Thank you VIC.

sarah toa said...

Here is my rant.

sarah toa said...

I really hope they count my prefs Alex. I was a bit appalled with myself on getting to #61 and finding no spare square to mark.

Anonymous said...

Had a read of that Sarah. Intended to leave this comment over at your place, but you're using one on those blogspot templates that disagrees with my default browser settings. Not your problem. I'm just too wated to fiddle with browser things. Sorry.

Wow, I'm amazed you're such a good writer. In general, but mainly just under the circumstances. I'm almost a half-carton into my sorrows and barely coherent. I feel like I'm lowering the tone here. Sorry about that.

I don't think I could bring myself to not call Abbott a cunt. I don't care about the logic. I've got a lot of pleasure from pricks over the years too and I wouldn't think twice about using that word derogitoriorially either. Fuck him.

That comic's ace by the way. I love comics. Fancy myself as a wannabe cartoonist a bit even. Is it yours?

Melba said...

This is the first time I've been able to check in. Fucken Internet. In a room w 5 ppl who went to uni w Sophie Mirabella + they all hate!

sarah toa said...

Sorry you couldn't leave a comment.
Still raining here. Second bottle and my uke mates have gone into radio silence. I'm unsure if this is because their mobile phones have been killed by rain/they are drunk/they are in the bush and don't give a shit.
My hypothesis? The latter. Lucky bastards.

sarah toa said...

Comic? Got it off Loon Pond.

sarah toa said...

What a fucking day.

Anonymous said...

In a room w 5 ppl who went to uni w Sophie Mirabella + they all hate!

I knew she was a nasty cow.

How goes it at your sister's Melbs?

Had a quick squiz at your blog Sarah. Will have to have a better look when I've sobered up. Might even be able to leave a decent comment or two.

Ugh, love Kruddy or hate him, he gives a decent speech, even in defeat. Abbott sounds like a cunt. A complete cunt (grammatic logic be damned).

Our prime minister for at least the next three years is going to be a complete cunt.

Melba said...

Just managed to log in again. Well. Fuck that yes? To expecting anything more. No dancing yet, how about Palmer. I have drunk too my Champers. Princess came up here on the bus. I am trying to find that satire clip w the Red Wedding to show everyone!

Anonymous said...

Oh god, they've started talking about how magnificent John Howard was and how Tony is the natural continuation of that.



You know, it's not like I was loving the ALP or thought the Libs would never get back in or some shit. If it'd been Turnbull or someone, no big whoop.

But I've loathed this bastard since he was health minister. In 2008, when he was winging about how he couldn't make ends meet with the money he was making in opposition, I thought he'd bugger off into the private sector and sponge off contracts from Liberal state govt contracts like Costello did.

But he didn't.

Now he's the fucking PM.


Anonymous said...

You mean the Assange music vid, Melbs?

It's here

Anonymous said...

how about Palmer.

Going on the figures I'm seeing now, I can't believe how well he's done.

Even though I don't like Katter as an individual, I would have much prefered his party to get up in QLD, because I much prefer his general economic vision.

I hope if the numbers do shake out in a way that leaves Palmer with seats -- useful seats; that he does something useful with them. At this point, I don't really trust the fat cunt.

I still hope his man in Flinder ... Flander ... Watchacallit, can knock of Mal Brough though.

Anonymous said...

Lisening to Greeny on Ch2:

Labour/Greens will lose balance of power in the senate. That balance will fall to a disparate group of independents and minor parties.

This should bring back the debate about electoral reform.

There he goes again with that elitist shit about wiping the little guy out of having a political voice.

Personally, I'm happy about Nicky X keeping his seat. Don't mind that bloke at all.

Ramon Insertnamehere said...

Drunk and grumpy.

Sleeping all day tomorrow.

Will be in touch.

sarah toa said...

Jesus wept. I've just watched the.
Bloody hell.
(More expletives)

Anonymous said...

sounds like you've almost had as much as me there, Sarah.

My thoughts exaclly.

Anonymous said...

10th & final night for Kerry O'Brien?

Sounds like he's winding down his career. Sorta sad about that.

Bit disappointed Sales wasn't on board this time around. Didn't mind the absence of what's-his-face though. The bloke with the black hair who does the politics on 730 report now. Who took over from Brisseldon. You know who I mean.

Anonymous said...

Antony Green is slagging off Julian Assange on ABC.

Are Greeny and Ramon related? Are they one in the same? Shocked.

Anonymous said...

Not sure if I got this right, but it looks like the early predictions were bollocks and WA went as blue as any other state.

Sorry about that Sarh, Squib, Suze, any other gropers out there.

Melba said...

Hello just got home to normal internet conditions.

Well, that was pretty fucking predictable but how about Palmer?

Found the yes Red Wedding video and showed it to them, and they enjoyed. Man what a night, caught a taxi home, bed now. Ciao ciao. Glad everyone seemed to enjoy the party and thanks Alex for taking over host duties while I was AWOL.

Melba said...

It's the morning after, I am hungover and I have just read through all the comments. Alex you were so funny, your self commentary about your deteriorating language, thanks for cheering me up with that this morning. I'm also so glad that some of you people made each other's acquaintance.

Sarah - you know how people get bed sores when they are bedridden? I wonder if my feet are going to get ugg-sores because I just have worn them so much this winter!

I'm too scared to look at the newspapers. To see that freaking face, and the grin.

How about at the end when the daughters were there. My bro-in-law started shouting about the Robert Palmer video (I told him that was an old joke) and then someone else was singing 'Simply Inelectable' which proved wrong anyway.

So yesterday was a bad day in lots of way. I broke my health kick majorly. I have been very low carb and I had Wonder Bread. WONDER BREAD. Cucumber sandwiches, fairy bread, and I made a butter and vegemite WONDER BREAD sandwich. And that was all just in the afternoon. Then at the party I had a handful of chips, some cheese and crackers, a slice of pizza and a bowl of ice cream. And 5 glasses of champagne which in the 'old days' wouldn't have even hit the sides but these days kills me.

Squib, thanks for popping in all the way from Scotland - the movie reference was Blues Brothers when they talk about both kinds of music - country AND western.

When I got home Clokes was here, depressed more because Collingwood lost than the election I think.

Princess got on a bus and came up to the party last night - did I say that? - because I said there was an attractive 17 year old boy up there.

Argh, and Clive Palmer? Cannot believe.

Kerry O'Brien - someone kept saying how good he looked, how well he's aged, or that he hasn't aged at all. I kept thinking that he looked really old.

We got onto Rage and music shows, my sister danced but I was too depleted. Didn't want to embarrass Princess cause I'd already embarrassed her. Introducing her to the boy. 'He's 17 and in Year 11 too and he's doing history. He likes history!' and then saying to him 'This is the History Girl I was telling you about.'


Anyway, on Abbott, thank god I'm fucking off again out of the country next Saturday. Maybe he'll fuck up and they'll get rid of him really soon. Be interesting to see how the MSM treats him after the honeymoon period's worn off.

It's time for coffee but I don't want to use the machine cause the boy is still asleep and he'll be sad about the footy last night.

I gotta go. Hope everyone has as reasonable Sunday as possible.

Anonymous said...

Just thought I'd pop in, see how everyone pulled up this morning, apologise for my loutish behaviour, offer to help with the clean-up.

Felt surprisingly good in the stomach and brain department this morning, considering I knocked over the better part of the carton. Kidney area of my back feels shockingly tender though.

Phone's been ringing off the hook. All the teacher rellies are calling each other for a whinge. My brothers are all gutted. "A win for fucking Rupert Murdock" one kept saying.

Then I got a weird call from a woman (wrong number) who said she was freaking out and having a panic attack and then hung up. I'm blaming Abbott for that one too.

I never made the connection between Robbert Palmer and the Abbott girls before, but I see it now.

Your mate who reckoned O'Brien hasn't aged musta been having you on. Surely.

When you said P was coming to the party, I sorta wondered how that would go. Ah, even if she's not into politics herself, I'm sure she understands. On a night like that, having your pissed mum give you an embarrasing introduction and then go off for a bit of a dance is pretty par for the course, I reckon.

I feel too hollowed out to do anything, even think. Might spend the rest of the day watching old cartoons.

suze2000 said...

Looks like I missed all the fun while I was on the plane home. (from Vanuatu no less, yes there will be a gloating post to come)

Pretty gutted about the result but not really surprised. More upset about Kerry effectively announcing his retirement. Have decided to try to ignore it as much as possible and get on with life. At least there'll be no more bagging out of Julia Gillard and she at least got the satisfaction of watching Kev lose last night (though it was clear from his speech it's still someone else's fault in his mind).

Melba, as a mortified daughter I just think it's nice that you care that you might have embarrassed Princess. My mum thinks it's funny the way she embarrassed me in front of boys (the worst being when I brought home a greek boy that I was desperately in love with and she got drunk and made greek jokes all night and was loudly indignant when I tried to get her to stop). And she's still annoyed that I rang her and threatened her about embarrassing me at my wedding, but I thought it wasn't without provocation.

Hope everyone feels a bit better this afternoon. I have the post-holiday blues myself.

M said...

I waited until the result was final to start drinking, myself.