how to make disney on ice skaters fall over

first - wait until the first scene which might be the aladdin section

turn to friend who has seen disney on ice four times before

ask: has anyone ever fallen?

hear the reply: no, i’ve never seen it happen

then wait: soon, aladdin will trip on the ice and kind of half fall but recover quite well

feel sick and know it was your fault

think: i shouldn’t have said anything,
think: it’s because i’m here

say: it's because i'm here
hear the reply from friend: it's never happened before

then a bit later, as ariel [from little mermaid] starts to skate/dance with whoever her prince is, try not to think: i wonder if it will happen again.

it does.

watch: ariel hits the ice as she is doing some sort of spin with her prince. he has her by the hands and was giving her a whizzy whirl [no, no!! your inner voice screams]. she loses her balance and her legs are kind of dragged on the ice. she gets wet tights and a red flush along her chest.

now sit there, really tense, keeping all thoughts from mind.

imagine: ariel swearing you fuck at her prince backstage.

spend rest of performance not daring to breathe and deciding never to go to ice show again.