Monday, December 22, 2008

yuletide yuyu

my blogger christmas list is very small this year. compared to past good times, when i've given gifts, it's dwindled to a very select group of beautiful people. i'm only buying for regular bloggers, so all you people who have dropped out and have real lives, no present for you!

because my list is so small, i have spent more on each person.

i hope you enjoy.

first, a good friend of mine, jo_blue. jo is a sweetheart, i've known her for 20 years this year. she's a good friend, and her favourite colour is blue. so for dear jo, some beautiful blueness to put around the house in malaysia.

that's a toilet seat, left. not some crazy percussion instrument.

i don't know if you like blue cheese, but i'll eat it while i watch you open your pressies...

finally, a big blue TICK for you my friend. you are a good person, don't ever forget that. and keep up the blogging.


next, quite urgently, perseus q.

perseus wants a wife, so i got him one.

i decided not to stuff around with girlfriends, and having to return (or re-gift) etc.

just cut to the chase, no?
but she looks a little clean and conventional, doesn't she, so i got him a goth girl as well.

i think they'd all get on? im thinking while the wife is polishing the tureen, goth-girl and perse can, you know, smoke.

i'm also throwing in a womb chair and a librarian and a pirate. stocking stuffers, you know.

the pirate came without clothes, persey, you'll have to get her some of those.

thanks for your atheistic comradeship, as well as your wonderful, WONDERFUL book reviews/dating exposes this year. you are my favourite new friend.


next is the girl with many names. i think of her as alabama, but her real name is saskia. she writes poetry and while i generally don't like poetry, i like hers. she is a breath of sea air, a fluttery leaf on the wind, a dreamy slip of female. she has seaweed hair, and deep ocean eyes.

if i sound like i'm a little in love with her, well so be it.

for saskia, the pretty poetess, who loves the ocean, i got her the seven seas. it wasn't as hard as you might think. anything for my saskia.

1. the indian ocean

2. the black sea

3. the caspian sea

4. the adriatic sea

5. the persian gulf

6. the red sea

7. the mediterranean sea

all that watery goodness, wrapped up in some blue and green cellophane.

knock yourself out, darling girl. happy, safe swimming this summer.


next on my chrissy list is AOF, another outspoken female. in gift-giving times past, i made the mistake of saying i would cook her a roast of some sort, but NOW I KNOW SHE IS VEGETARIAN, i will shout her a trip to the us so she can go to the top-10 vegan and vego restaurants, and eat herself silly. it's a ticket for two, so she can take not boyfriend. i'll look after her cats for her, water her plants, all that.

princess and i met aof earlier this year, which was a delight. i do like meeting bloggers. but not the freaky ones. just the nice ones.

oh, almost forgot. a stocking stuffer for you as well.

any book or podcast or essay of germaine's that you don't already have.
plus a glass of wine, it seems.

ah, my favouritest blogger. he is such a nice person, and if "nice" is a questionable word to use (shades of middle'dom, and all that) well, stuff you, disliker of nice. nice is a good word, and i am reclaiming it and using it for my dear friend INC.

i thought and i thought and i thought about what to get INC. you know, he has it all. he has a lovely wife and two beautiful boys. they have a house, they have fun-times, lots of laughs and they use "dude" all the time.

what more does this man need?

he has his religious faith, he has his intelligence and wonderful writerly ways.

but you know what he doesn't have?

a job that he likes. hell, a job that he loves.

so, for INC i am giving him that job.

it's in this box, INC. open it and tell me what it is. it's a magic box, you see. perhaps it contains the tools of being a cartoon-creator, an x-box games designer, a pilot, a traindriver, a tennis coach? because even though i know you quite well, i don't know what it is you would like to do most with the rest of your working life.

perhaps it contains a lawyer's hat - but a different type of lawyer.

happy christmas inc.

and last but certainly not least, my oldest blog-buddy, meaning i've known this dude online for as long as i've had my blog which i think is 3 1/2 years. he also takes the award for travelling the largest distance along the continuum of blogging regularity - from most frequent and prolific blogger, to "person least-likely to have a new post on his blog."

but i know he's around, indeed he has even visited these parts recently.

it's BEVIS.

bevis and i go way back. we've had stoushes, and warm, fuzzy feel-good moments. heck, i came runner-up in his big blogger competition, he was here when clokes and i got engaged, he was here when my house got broken into (two houses ago), i was here for the birth of his TWO children. so i've loved him long-time.

for bevis, i give him some time:

some magic dust

and a robot that can take his place in the family hustle and bustle every now and then so he can sneak off and resume his bloggy goodness more often.

for anyone else i haven't bought for, this box is for you.
open it and tell me what it is:
thanks for reading everyone. have a happy, safe chrissy and new year. i'll be around but transmission will be down for a couple of weeks or so.


I'm not Craig said...

I really have no idea how to even begin to express my gratitude for this most lovely of posts. Or, for that matter, for your friendship, which means more to me than you could possibly know or imagine.

As for what's in the box, it's a career as the bass player for a stunningly successful and well paid band. I'm not sure which band that would be, but there would have to be some some solid blues-based funking going on in the rhythm section.

If that doesn't work out, a career where I get to help people who really need it and feed my children, rather than having to choose one or the other, would be just about right.

Have a truly perfect Christmas, my friend. I'll look forward to more of your awesome writing, and hopefully some more picnics, in the new year.

jo_blue said...

What a great post. I'm so touched. You write wonderfully and you're so funny. You can eat the cheese (I'll just have a little taste) and I'll drive the car to wherever you'd like to take yourself for a holiday!

Have a wonderful Christmas, won't you. I'm hoping to catch up in person next Christmas.


Perseus said...

That's the best present I got this year, and that even includes the foot massage from Miscellaneous / Melody (which came in the form of an IOU).

Thank you for my present, and thank you for your blog, especially the Diaramas, and thank you for you.

Love and kisses,

Another Outspoken Female said...

Belated thanks and yuletide salutations. I have been in the land of the long white cloud (actually it was unusually fine 80% of the time, that's global warming for you).

I can't wait to start my vegan tour of the world. Most thoughtful (will you mind if I sneak in a little seafood too).

But that glass of wine to toast new friendships would be nice at anytime.

Hope the new year is kind to you and your family (with a special wish for your beautiful princess - that it is a smooth journey through the troubled waters of adolescence).

BEVIS said...

I feel EXTRA special to have been included in this list, despite my obvious shortfallings in the blogosphere of late.

I am slowly finding the time (thank you for that wonderful gift!) to get back into "I Blogged Myself" (although I think "TV Is My Life" will remain in a permanent state of 'retirement'), and if not for a truly monumental next post I'm working on in draft format at the moment, I'd be up-to-date.

You just wait; when this one I'm currently working on is done, the others in line will all shoot through really quickly, and suddenly I'll be 'current' like the rest of you lovely people.

But enough about me. I trust your Christmas was wonderful and delightful, MG, and that everyone in your happy little household got what they wanted/needed/deserved.


(And don't think I didn't notice you using all caps for my name, you big flirt, you!)