this week's six feet under. only one to go.

last night i watched most of sfu from behind my hands, and a cushion off the couch. i was convinced really bad things were going to happen.
there was a toing and froing of maya between brenda who has clearly been all over the place since nate's death six weeks previously. ruth wanted to keep maya, george pleaded on her behalf, brenda agreed, then changed her mind.
ruth had a conversation with george, and said "we could raise her [maya] couldn't we?"
he gallantly ignored the "we" and what it implied, and agreed that yes, they could.
brenda was having weird dreams about billy; especially after nate appeared and told her she and billy could "be together" in all senses of the expression, that they should as they belong together, that they could go away somewhere new and set up as a couple and fuck. that last word just hung in the air. so confronting. then brenda has a dream, only of course the viewer doesn't know it's a dream. she enters billy's room (he is staying with her) he's in bed. they end up hugging, he is naked, she looks at him, he suggests she touches it, she does. they kiss. so twisted but so well done. so like a dream.
claire is going off the rails. she is drunk all the time, or stoned. drives and totals her car. so we see the end of this beautiful beast, one of the visual icons of this show for me:








in another scene she confronts two women leaving the funeral parlour, who have just been making arrangements for their son and brother. we know the dead man was young, a returned soldier, legless and missing one arm. he was horrifically injured. we know also his sister helped him kill himself. on the back of the mother's vehicle, a huge petrol guzzling suv, is a sticker that says "support our troops".
claire catches sight of this while she is drunk; she lets rip a poisonous invective against the two women, ranting that it's because of cars like this that america has invaded iraq, for oil, also that the support the troops sticker is misguided, people are dying over there, she screamed, iraqis, children, women, etc etc.
she has no idea that their son and brother was a soldier and was dead.
it was a wonderful scene, and hard to watch.
also hard to watch claire spitting abuse at the kindly ted who has been her rock the last couple of episodes. a man not more than an acquaintance but clearly a decent person who has supported her and been there for her, and, we hoped, a potential long-term, happily-ever-after future husband. claire pushed him away, told him to fuck off, told him he was a jerk etc.
david continues to lose it with his panic attacks. it's just all spinning out of control and i really fear for next week. i won't be able to watch it until probably tuesday night. and then i will mourn its finishing.
and move onto something else.

my fingers are not as long, nor as skinny, as kate moss'

[warning: this post contains text about six feet under, particularly the episode shown this week. it also contains text about chimney sweeping.]
okay. i am coming down to the wire with my thesis. i cancelled an appointment with my supevisor today so i can write. my days are messy; yesterday the chimney sweep plus my mother managed to combine and suck all the hours from my window of opportunity between school-drop-off at 9am and pick-up at 3.30pm. the hours fly, as they are now. and i have no excuse about blogging do i. the chimney sweep is not making me do it. but i have to have the right mental state in place to sit and write and think clearly about structure and flow and coherence. to be coherent is extremely difficult.
and here i am blogging. i've painted my nails bright red, which is something i don't usually do. toenails, yes. fingernails, no. but i wanted to approximate the kate moss look, you know girls, when she has short nails, but they are red. and they look fucking awesome with her long, skinny fingers. my fingers are not as long, nor as skinny, as kate moss'. it's funny how much i want to put another s after moss' like this: moss's.
to business.
three words.
SIX






FEET











UNDER.








you will just have to indulge me for the next seven weeks, because for the moment, sfu is my obsession. hear me? obsession.
it's come like a godsend back into my life. there was such a long break between seasons i thought it was lost to me forever. i'd seen it in the video shops but it didn't seem to have the correct shows. then out of the blue, it returns.
for me, sfu is unlike any other show i've ever watched. and i've seen a lot.
so, no big brother [used to watch it and like it until it got too skanky], no survivor, no amazing race. we do watch desperate housewives, and prison break and medium. and neighbours.
neighbours, i love. prison break is ok. like, just ok. not great, but there are characters i do enjoy, such as teabag is just such a thigh-grindingly creepoid. desperate housewives is good for watching bree and lynette, but the others are wearing thin. medium is great but i always feel it should have gone for another hour, and the endings can feel rushed and a bit pat.
last night we watched our taped episode of six feet under. nate and brenda seemed to reach a rapprochement, so i'm hoping that will be the end of the tension. maggie came to dinner with george; i really wonder what the maggie character will do.
seems david and keith are going to adopt a boy who has an older brother as well. we haven't met the brother but there's promise that he might be difficult. but david and keith are getting on so well, i LOVE the dynamic between them. the tender looks, the graceful bowing to each other's preferences.
billy is such a pathetic character, it is so hard to watch; his neediness and his on-the-brink-of-panic is so replusive. claire has such a good head on her shoulders, she is strong and she knows what she will and won't put up with. you can see she can't stand to be near him, and when she was tricked into seeing him not once, but twice, and the second time with the assistance of his mother, you couldn't blame her for just running away from the restaurant when she said she was going to the toilet.
george and ruth looked at a house, in an interesting area of town that is near the market and something else, a museum or gallery? ruth's face looks lighter and george is so loving with her. there was a very subtle after-sex scene, where she looked particularly harrowed and you just knew she had done it for him.
rico spoke about vanessa's private business behind her back to the principal of the kids' school and another mother; a transgression that was unforgivable and completely killed any chance of them getting together. i love the way rico speaks; he is so solemn and precise, and uber courteous. it's delicious.
and finally, a bit of closure about lisa and her death. i was wondering whether it would be mentioned again. it came up in the context of brenda thinking maya should be being told about her "first mommy" and nate was feeling rushed about it. then it all came out, his feelings about the way lisa died, that she'd been having an affair with her brother-in-law, and, shockingly, the thought nate has obviously been nursing that perhaps maya is not his biological child. this is something i had never considered, and brenda said they were also things that she had never thought of.
each episode is so full. i am going to be so bereft when it finishes. unlike arrested development and curb your enthusiasm i feel i have invested so much emotion in this show, in the characters and the stories. they are like family, my family. never has a show so thorougly moved into my mind and taken up residence before.

only eight eps to go of six feet under, don't read it if you don't want to know some stuff

six feet under would have to be one of my favourite shows of all time.
i think when it finishes, i will need the dvd collection. i will miss it, the show, and the people.
check out the hbo website to remind yourself of what has happened thus far, and after this week's episode where nate bashed the blue bird (of happiness?) to death with a broom at his surprise 40th birthday party, i just don't know that it will all be ok in the end.
i know the creator Alan Ball has tried to keep it realistic and resisted some writers wanting to break up relationships so they can write new things. he said
sometimes i exercise veto power. for the longest time there was a lot of energy behind splitting david and keith up and letting david move on, because there was concern that keith was not a good partner for him... i fought that. i just felt that this is what these characters are going through, this is what will solidify them as a couple. a lot of times writers get bored: 'i want a new doll to play with.' i think what's more interesting is trying to maintain a relationship with somebody who's so different. what i'm interested in is seeing these two men who are basically good people with different pathologies trying to make them work... no this show is not about moving on and getting the next new exciting thing to happen. this show is about what it is like to remain in a relationship. this show is about what it is like to remain alive while other people die. you stick it out. you don't just jettison and move on.
[taken from the age green guide, april 13, p.16]






what is going to happen to claire and billy? actually, i think claire can take care of herself. in which case, what is going to happen to billy?







is claire ever going to make things up with ruth? they are so hating each other right now.







david and keith have been getting on so well. are they going to get their baby and be happy?








how significant will george's daughter maggie be? was i imagining a frisson or two between her and nate? he was leaning in for a kiss at his party, was he not?







will we ever find out anything more about lisa? it seemed to jump from when her brother-in-law confessed to nate and then shot himself. that was the end of the season, and then this season there seemed to be a gap, or is that just me?








i just love that kitchen. this isn't a question or a loose end. it's just a statement. i love that kitchen.







will rico and vanessa get back together?










will ruth ever be happy again? will george be ok. a heartbreaking scene this week, involving him and his mother. truly one of the saddest things i have ever seen on film.
and finally:










will nate fucking get his shit together and make a life with brenda? she's already feeling insecure, she has done really well to pull herself together, she's pregnant again after a traumatic miscarriage the day before their wedding. why does he seem to keep repeating the pattern, and behaviour, of a commitment phobe? he's done it all along. is this going to be his fate?
and really, did nate die during season two? is it going to be like some sort of inverted bobby ewing thing or the sixth sense all over again? are they going to fuck with our minds?