last night i watched most of sfu from behind my hands, and a cushion off the couch. i was convinced really bad things were going to happen.
there was a toing and froing of maya between brenda who has clearly been all over the place since nate's death six weeks previously. ruth wanted to keep maya, george pleaded on her behalf, brenda agreed, then changed her mind.
ruth had a conversation with george, and said "we could raise her [maya] couldn't we?"
he gallantly ignored the "we" and what it implied, and agreed that yes, they could.
brenda was having weird dreams about billy; especially after nate appeared and told her she and billy could "be together" in all senses of the expression, that they should as they belong together, that they could go away somewhere new and set up as a couple and fuck. that last word just hung in the air. so confronting. then brenda has a dream, only of course the viewer doesn't know it's a dream. she enters billy's room (he is staying with her) he's in bed. they end up hugging, he is naked, she looks at him, he suggests she touches it, she does. they kiss. so twisted but so well done. so like a dream.
claire is going off the rails. she is drunk all the time, or stoned. drives and totals her car. so we see the end of this beautiful beast, one of the visual icons of this show for me:
in another scene she confronts two women leaving the funeral parlour, who have just been making arrangements for their son and brother. we know the dead man was young, a returned soldier, legless and missing one arm. he was horrifically injured. we know also his sister helped him kill himself. on the back of the mother's vehicle, a huge petrol guzzling suv, is a sticker that says "support our troops".
claire catches sight of this while she is drunk; she lets rip a poisonous invective against the two women, ranting that it's because of cars like this that america has invaded iraq, for oil, also that the support the troops sticker is misguided, people are dying over there, she screamed, iraqis, children, women, etc etc.
she has no idea that their son and brother was a soldier and was dead.
it was a wonderful scene, and hard to watch.
also hard to watch claire spitting abuse at the kindly ted who has been her rock the last couple of episodes. a man not more than an acquaintance but clearly a decent person who has supported her and been there for her, and, we hoped, a potential long-term, happily-ever-after future husband. claire pushed him away, told him to fuck off, told him he was a jerk etc.
david continues to lose it with his panic attacks. it's just all spinning out of control and i really fear for next week. i won't be able to watch it until probably tuesday night. and then i will mourn its finishing.
and move onto something else.