Monday, September 04, 2006

put simply

who is the best hairdresser in melbourne?

apologies to male readers who have recently started joining me here. if you are going to hang out at all with me, you need to just put up with my occasional girly-whinges. bevis copes, i don't know, maybe you could email him for tips.

no, i really want to know. who is the best?

i think i have come up with a "final solution" for my hair. readers who have been with me for a while will know of my hair iss-ews.

think phyllis diller on a good day.

no. it's not that bad.


i embrace its "volume" and ignore the "strength"*

hairdressers have told me they have never seen such thick hair. the most direct one, a man but not gay, told me it's like horse's hair. i laughed it off but inside, yes i died a little. they have fucked up the colouring, they have fucked up the cutting, they have complained about the weight of it, the way they always run out of colour and have to re-load the little trolley.

i have had a brilliant idea about what to do with it, which i will keep to myself for the moment.

but can you tell me?

who is the best hairdresser in melbourne?

i don't care about cost. i need someone who can take me in their capable, professional, experienced hands, and tell me, nay assure me, they won't fuck up my hair when i explain to them my bold plan.

other bits and pieces:

1. what do you say to an-almost-ten-year-old child when they tell you they want to make their will, and want their "body to be burned" and half the ashes to be scattered at a particular park in istanbul and the other half "you can keep, mummy."

2. what the fuck are howard and costello on about with their fomenting of fear of muslims etc?

3. does fomenting mean what i think it means? i can't be bothered looking it up.

4. are optus going to charge me another late-payment fee, because now i haven't paid the last late-payment fee by the due time?

5. i confess to being possibly the only person who has never, until now, watched an entire ep. of sex in the city. you see, i read about it when it was headed our way, in um around 1998? and rubbed my hands together and cackled at the thought of it, knowing i would adore it. then i went overseas and they didn't have it on the tv where i went. when i came back a year later my world had been turned upside down, and i'd missed a year's worth of shows. the other night we got the first shows on dvd. i am really really loving it.

6. princess has gone to camp. for two nights. it'll be a piece of cake considering how i coped in january. remember those days, dear readers?

7. removed

8. i went out with a group of girlfriends on friday night. we ate indian and then went to a bar. our bar bill was $460. we were only slightly out of control. only one of us vomitted the next day and it wasn't me. i had to co-host an 8th birthday party. boys. football. say no more.

9. i'm cooking spaghetti bolognaise tonight. i'm off wheat and dairy, but the soy milk looked very strange in my coffee this morning. we'll see how long it lasts.

* euphemism for "similar to horse's hair"


LadyCracker said...

I can't help with much of that but yes, SPILL THE BEANS on the alternate identity

MelbourneGirl said...

you know, i think i'll take that bit out. sorry. it might cause trouble. but in a quiet way i'll tell you later.

MelbourneGirl said...

ps surely you know of a good hairdresser?

i might have to just settle for recommendations of good/excellent. forget "the best".

Mma Crankypants said...

Dean at Diva in Westgarth.
Try him, you won't be disappointed, I never am.

LadyCracker said...

My experiences at hairdressers rabge from awful to blood curdling. Truly

Another Outspoken Female said...

When my hairdresser stopped cutting in order to run his empire I almost cried - I'd been seeing him since 1987, we'd gone through so much together, it was the longest relationship I've ever had!

However another gemette is the delighful Justin Golightly (yes his real name, did she know she was having a gay boychild?) at (where else?) Salon Golightly in the Manchester Unity building in the city.

Good luck, from another "full volumed" woman!

kathrynoh said...

Heading Out on Brunswick St.

And I've never watched an entire episode of Sex and the city either.

Dxxxx said...

I can only recommend my lovely gal Raquel but Ballina is an awful long way to travel. Although it would be great to see you!!!! I have never watched Sex in the City and am quite proud of the fact. I never watched Melrose Place either.
I am ever so curious as to no.7. You know i need to know stuff about alternate identities...
And the best soy milk is called "So Milky" (lite we get) i can't remember who makes it, but it's not awful and brown and chalky and yuk like some, it is really nice.

Anonymous said...

Little Buddha
88a Smith Street

The only place i'll trust to cut my hair, and I live in Brisbane.

MelbourneGirl said...

are you female, anon? sorry, but it does make a difference.

or does it?

maybe not.

so you travel for a haircut? that's a bit personal i know, but...

sahara said...

Natalie at Oxhey and Bushey on Brunswick St. I'm seriously considering flying back from London for her to cut my hair - here you have to pay at least $500 for someone who understands the concept of 'layering'. Oh please dear gods, let her still be there when I come back for holidays!!

Kymmy said...

MG, as a fellow 'double colour' and 'an hour to finish off'* gal, would it be acceptable to ask for a report back when you test out the new hairdresser?

*Okay, I didn't want to say 'horse-haired' as I want that little part of me inside to live!

I'm not Craig said...

What alternate identity? Why do I never read these posts before they get edited? This is going to bug me.

My wife uses a hairdresser who works from home in Templestowe. She did my wife's hair for our wedding and we have been using her ever since (so, a little over five years). She is amazing and charges a fraction of what you would expect. I have temporarily forgotten her last name but if you want to know more let me know.

If I have correctly guessed from previous posts which part of Melbourne you live in, then Templestowe would be a hell of a drive, but then again we don't live anywhere near Templestowe either and we never have. This woman is a genius and well worth travelling for.

I would say "tell her I sent you" but that could only lead to confusion, as she may have morethan one customer whose husband is not called Craig.

sublime-ation said...

Barberella Hair in Gertrude St have been the only hairdressers I've ever been to in Melbs that didn't either give me a mullet or generally over-layer my thick hair.
My cutter there's called Anna. She isn't chatty but she does a good job.

I will never leave them.

Plus they have really good magazines.

SATC, tragically, got me through writing my book. I just couldn't watch anything longer or more intellectual at that time. Despite its probs, it has its moments.

MelbourneGirl said...

wow thanks everyone. i will use this information carefully and report back when i have proceeded with my plan.

and about the other identity. suffice to say it's not me, it's someone else so i thought, after impulsively listing it, to remove it so i don't get into trouble.

for get into trouble i probably would have gotten.

is that a sentence?

it is now.

Kungfujen said...

Go and see Natalie at Oxhey Bushey on Brunswick Street. Worth every penny ($75 worth of pennies, actually).

obtuse-a said...

Beware Heading Out - 6 hours for head hairdresser to lighten hair + $450 = Brindle Betty Bad Bad

arte or medusa on carlisle st

Rowena said...

I may be too late but:

Nicole at Kabuki in Grattan St, Carlton
Eddie at Mioche, Block Place, City.

Although I know I should have many issues with Sex and the City, I still think it's the best show that's ever been on TV. Seriously. Loved it to bits.

ccm said...

simrod hair in st kilda. bri is really good . i have thick crazy hair as well and she is the only hairdresser i know who cn do something with it.

Grant Edmunds said...

u shd just shave ur pubes but b carfull it gets itchy


luv grant

gigglewick said...


Just watch out for the international jet-set trendsetting allure of Toni and Guy.

They gave me a "fashion" mullet. I had to have stern words with the "stylist" to make him cut off the mullet ends which was so wispy as to infer "rat's tail".

Ew. Plus with a six month old grizzlewick I was not inclined (at the time) to spend 45 minutes on my hair every morning, something their cuts seem to require.

And all that for the bargain-basement price of $200.

MelbourneGirl said...

thanks again everyone. never too late, ro. it seems there are people out there who would like to know this as well.

horse-head people of melbourne, unite.

i may try the st kilda one, as it's closest. i may do a ring-around, as my "final solution" does not involve just a cut. or a colour.

and no pubes involved, grant but thanks for your input, fuk, yeh, ha ha.

Anonymous said...

right. not a lady myself but hear from several voluminously haired lady friends that the best place in melbourne for such hair to be tamed is a little place called '68 degrees in the shade' (in flemington). tough to get a booking but worth every god damn cent (apparently).

Anonymous said...

Female, yes.
I travel to Melbourne ever 2months or so for family reasons. So I get it cut then :)

BEVIS said...

fo·ment (f-mnt) Pronunciation Key
tr.v. fo·ment·ed, fo·ment·ing, fo·ments
1. To promote the growth of; incite.
2. To treat (the skin, for example) by fomentation.

I am also annoyed at myself for missing the unedited version of this post. The "removed" and comments relating to it herewith don't make any sense.

As for emailing me for tips on how to cope with MG's girly-whinges: Good luck, fellas. I got nothin'.

I just enjoy whatever dish MG decides to serve up. "It's always delicious!" *

* Quote taken from The Good Food Guide, 1997.

Suse said...

Er, anonymous, it's 96 degrees in the shade (the Pin Oak Crescent, Flemington one), not 68. Not being picky but it could make a difference when trying to find them to book.

I went there for YEARS until we moved across town last Christmas. I haven't found a replacement yet, so may just drive allll the way back.

You need to book way ahead but they're worth it. God I need a haircut now.

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