Friday, February 08, 2008

when the celebs come out and endorse american politicians

if you were an american presidential candidate, who would give you more endorsement credibility?

george or ric?

babs or jenna?

i was amused by a piece in the age yesterday, which detailed who the celebrities are rooting for in the current u.s. presidential nominee primaries.

check the list:

hillary clinton - barb streisand, steven spielberg, jack nicholson, carly simon, janet jackson, hugh hefner, magic johnson, jerry springer and jenna jameson.

pretty predictable apart from the pornographers. mildly interesting.

then for barack there is oprah, gorgeous george, will smith, halle berry, stevie wonder, robert de niro, forrest whittaker, kathleen turner, toni morrison, gene wilder, ethel kennedy and maria shriver.

also pretty predictable.

for john mc cain there is arnold schwarzenegger (married to maria shriver, oooh, potential republican vs democrat election-night tension there), sly stallone, tom selleck, rip torn, general norman schwarzkopf and screenwriter joe eszterhas (sliver, showgirls, basic instinct.) i can see a bit of a theme here, tough guy macho mixed with sexploitation-type b-grade movies.
and then there's that scary wife, featured today at rywhm.

for me, the most interesting candidate is mike huckabee. firstly there's that surname, which none of us can hear or read without imagining this:

then there is the fact that mike huckabee reminds me of gomer pyle:

no really, he does.

look again.

for mike huckabee there is chuck norris and his wife on youtube telling people to vote for huckabee, rocker ted nugent and pro wrestler ric "the nature boy" flair.

who looks like this:

and whose wiki file includes the following fascinating information:

Finishing and signature moves
Signature illegal moves
Various roll-ups while holding tights or with his feet on the ropes
Eye poke
Low blow
Thumb to the eye
Testicular claw

Other signatures

Throwing an object down (such as his suit jacket or Mick Foley's autobiography, due to their rivalry) and subsequently dropping an elbow onto it.

The "Flair Flop", where after being pummeled (usually in the corner), he will confidently stride out and look to have regained his composure, only to flop flat on his face.

After being floored to the mat, holds his hands up whilst kneeling down submissively and begs his opponent not to strike him (often yelling "Nooo!" in the process); thus catching them off-guard, and usually then resulting in a low blow or a thumb to the eyes.

Being caught and thrown off the top turnbuckle whenever he tries a move from there.

Being thrown towards the turnbuckle, flipping over the top rope and landing on the apron, followed by one of two things: 1. Flair runs along the apron to the next available corner, climbs to the top rope where, almost always, he will be grabbed by his opponent and body slammed back into the ring; or 2. Flair runs along the apron towards the next corner, but is clotheslined (either by his opponent or an opposing partner in a tag match) before he gets to the corner.

"The Nature Boy" Ric Flair
Naitch (Short for "Nature Boy")
The Dirtiest Player in the Game
The Man
Limousine ridin', jet flying, kiss stealin', wheelin' dealing, son of a gun
Space Mountain
The Sixty-Minute Man

i rest my case. surely there can be no better candidate.

also, i was thinking if celebs were to come out of the woodwork here in australia and endorse political candidates, who would they be?

a few thoughts i had. for mark "bad boy" latham, hiding just off-stage where we didn't see them, might have been chopper read, mick gatto and joe korp?

for john howard, perhaps eddie mcguire, guy sebastian and darryl somers?
i don't know. any suggestions for current politico dudes?


Magical_M said...

Jim Nabors! Of course! I knew he reminded me of someone.

I really hope that you google image searched for that album cover and didn't scan it from your collection...

I do vaguely recall a Jim Nabors album being in my dad's record collection though which has made me feel all woozy.

Best go and make a cuppa.


PS - I just don't understand why Martin Sheen didn't step up to the plate for nomination. He did a great job of it for six seasons, surely the transition couldn't be that difficult?

I'm not Craig said...

It's a shame that P Costello and J Howard are no longer together, as they missed a great opportunity to get Grant Denyer to endorse them. They could have appeared on his new show, It Takes Two (to steer this party to electoral oblivion).

Natalie Bassingthwaite could have also endorsed them for their famous performance as members of a certain conga line.

I join magical_m in wondering why Martin Sheen didn't contest this round of primaries (I'm even more curious as to why Fred Thompson did. The man was in "Days of Thunder", for goodness. And his character's name was 'Big John').

I think it's because the American people would have been too concerned about his failing health. Also even Americans know that you can't vote for a president who has already served two terms in office.

Either that or he thought his wife might get cross if he ran off with Rizzo from Grease to go campaigning.

I really need to stop this now.

Otherwise it might get silly.