Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Looking looking looking

Things that are pretty much a deal-breaker for me when looking at houses to buy.
- spa baths
- hot tubs
- pools
- gazebos
- feature walls
- sponged feature walls
- low ceilings
- stupid fucking floorplans
- cross-hatch parquetry flooring
- any parquetry flooring really, other than the very tasteful, very expensive type, which is rare
- floating floorboards
- aluminium window frames
- vertical venetians
- gravel or stones on pathways or driveways
- wood panel bathrooms
- slate flooring
Sorry if I've offended you, but really no one will know if you have any or all of these in your house. Most are cosmetic and can be dealt with, but things like this


you know the owners are thinking it's a major feature, especially when it's the hero shot for the ad.
Suburbs we are looking at circle Melbourne. It's too fucking hard and it's giving me a headache and I think I need to eat some cake. Luckily, there is some in the fridge, thanks to Princess turning 13.
I am mother of a teenager. How did that happen?

11 comments:

eat my shorts said...

I'm with you on the sponged feature walls & wood panel bathrooms. I also hate that suede effect paint.

At the moment I'm finding myself looking at residential rentals in the UK because I'm planning on working & living there early next year - there's some pearlers there, ay.

I remember when I turned a teenager chronologically. I don't think I actually acted like a teenager until I was seventeen though. Luckily for me I'd moved out of home for uni, so my poor unwitting parents didn't have to witness it.

groverjones said...

Woohoo! None of the above, although our driveway is cutting it a bit fine for being called gravel. We compromised on accepting black and white alternating floor tiles making our hall and kitchen look like a chess board - until I started looking at houses I didn't know how many things I didn't like.

jo_blue said...

We've currently got floors made of the type of parquetry that lifts up when you walk on it. I think it's called 'very old'. And my pet hate in houses are aluminium windows and anything painted in 'mission' brown.

Wishing you luck in your house finding endeavours.

many hugs

The Man at the Pub said...

Balinese style gazebos can be burned to the ground in 5 minutes.

We're looking to buy too. Due to the aesthetics of 'the others', I think we have to make a few compromises.

suze2000 said...

Spiral staircases. Ever tried to negotiate one while drunk? Or for that matter, with a sprained ankle (that you got while trying to go down it while drunk)?

Tiny living rooms.

Electric stove tops.

Gravity-fed HWS. (yes, this can be changed, but so can a bunch of things that you aren't going to want to once you move in and have no money, like the floating floor) We learnt this the hard way, having never seen or even heard of one before we moved in here. Two years of drip-fed showers. :P

Pool/spa. Fuck cleaning those things. Not worth it at all.

No yard. Even if it's 4sq m of concrete-enclosed prison, you must be able to sit outside somewhere and enjoy the few days in Summer where you don't want to die of the heat.

No bathtub. Who told (male) builders we can do without one? Not me. :P

squib said...

I hate parquetry and feature walls too

We filled in our pool and put a spa in the corner but it's tres chic. Dark green, set low in jarrah decking, surrounded by plants, under the stars. And it runs on a heat pump

I'm not Craig said...

How do you feel about gravel in garden beds? With very little else in said garden beds except for huge freakin' rocks and about two not very happy plants?

Fortunately, HB & I spent most of last weekend hauling 3 cubic metres of soil from the driveway to the garden beds and digging it in, and removing all the rocks, so now our front garden actually looks like a garden and hence it is safe for you to come and visit.

While you're here, you could collect the book that I bought for you in January but can't send you because I don't know your address.

Good luck with the house hunting and a huge belated happy birthday to your lovely Princess.

I'm not Craig said...

I should add that I love that gazebo. They have one just like it at the Werribee Open Range Zoo.

Melba said...

Yes INC but the one at Werribee Zoo has a funny closed-circuit tv that takes your photos as you are marvelling at the "African Villagio."

I do love it so there.

We would be very happy to visit you and your gravel. Weather is improving, would be loverly to see you. Email??? Clokes says let's do it, and it would be fab. We can come to you with cheese and vino.

Melba said...

I also meant to add shade sails. Of any type in any location. Especially at the front of the house like some lame carport.

Melba said...

AND RED TAN BARK.

THE EVIL.