Monday, October 10, 2005

my hair

[consider this a whisper: it's been a tough week in our family because of a death. i have been grappling with how to balance my blogging. when i write full-on posts it seems people don't comment. perhaps they are too confronted? or it's boring? i am just trying to connect. i am reading other people's blogs and they are great. perhaps that's where i can find my comfort. and not expect to find it here. here can be where i purge... perhaps. anyway today i am writing on the superficial. it's not so scary for people perhaps. hair. we all have it.]

i have got the thickest hair. any hairdresser i have ever been to comments like this:

"you have got SO much hair"

or sometimes this:

"your hair is SO thick"

my favourite hairdresser jeff called it horse's hair the first time i went to him. luckily he picked me and my sense of humour, and my reasonably unshakeable self-esteem. this is why i still go to him, because he knows hair, his wife has hair like mine, and he knows how to cut it.

however, i have been growing it long the last four years or so, so he hasn't been cutting it, just colouring it. then when i became a full-time student 18 months ago, i started to do the colouring myself. it's not great, but it works for me. i even cut it myself the other day. i had all these dried ends so i divided my hair [dry] as if i was to plait it, then pulled one clump forward over my shoulder, snip with these huge shears. same with the other clump. [i can hear girls wailing in horror right now]. but it looks fine. and got rid of those nasty ends. and it didn't cost.

then on saturday i went to a girlfriend's hairdresser just for a wash and blow. she blowdried it the best i've ever had. it is flat. it is sleek. it is shiny. everything that my normal hair is not.

everyone says how good it looks. how young i look. princess keeps saying i should get it done like this every week. i see in her eyes how she wants her mummy to have nice hair like the other mummies. instead of horse's hair.

so i am duly not washing it until it becomes so itchy, until my scalp is screaming.

care to hair-share? what have you done to your hair?


Janet said...

Post, please post. If your blog is where you vent, then don't hold back. People may not comment, but it is still out there. Writing is cathartic, it helps you to own the feelings you're having.

My sincerest condolences on the loss you've suffered, I sent a prayer your way when I read of it. But I didn't comment because I couldn't summon the eloquence appropriate for a heartfelt, respectful response, to the beautiful expression of grief you shared with us.

And I too, have thick, unmanageable hair, though I keep it shoulder length so it's easier to maintain.

elaine said...

MG, I feel priveleged that you share with us and would hate you to think I don't care. I do. I didn't comment because I didn't know what to write without it sounding trite and shallow...

I have a wonderful relationship with my hairdresser. I sit down and he asks what I'm liking and what I'm not about my current hair situation (my hair is quite fine but there is A LOT of it, it is currently short with flicky bits and faded red) then he cuts and colours. He doesn't even tell me what he's going to do anymore. I sit, he plays, we chatter away, I hand over $140.

It's very liberating and self indulgent to not have to make any decisions about my hair (aside from when to get it cut next). Ah Kon...

sublime-ation said...

I have the same prob, thick hair, and it's fine as dreads if it gets longer than my shoulders...I am always on the search for a really good hairdresser.
I normally get my friend to cut it, who at least knows what I like.
Elaine your h.d sounds great...

Dxxxx said...

MG - What Janet & Pegs said about commenting on your "full on" posts... it is hard to know what to say to offer comfort and to not sound like a tosser. But know that even if we don't comment - we do feel for you and send love your way.

And i vouch i have the thickest hair of all of us. EVERY SINGLE hairdresser i have ever been to IN MY LIFE says i have the thickest hair they have ever seen. It is not only thick as in each hair is thick like a horse's hair but there is also A LOT of it. It such a pain in the arse to do anything with. But better than being bald, no doubt :)


MelbourneGirl said...

thank you lovely ladies. i just returned from lunch with my bro and ma. he is heading back interstate after a very torrid few days of grief. your words mean a lot. sometimes you can feel so alone. and sometimes it's too easy to double-think everything i write here. usually i just go for it, let it come naturally. i think i will just have to continue in this vein. i can only be me [how 16 years old!]

now, to business.

dxxxx. i feel we may need a hair-off at some stage. i am prepared to bet you that i have the thickest hair. like you, mine is not only individually thick but it is COARSE. now there's a word you didn't use. i'll see your 'thickness' and raise you one 'coarse'. also i have a lot of it.

it's interesting what this type of post brings out.

i am considering other body parts for similar treatment.

kisses to you all, except you anon, and your infernal work-at-home-website.

Dxxxx said...

Ahh... the hair-off - YOU'RE ON.

I will be in Melbourne in 26 sleeps ...not that I'm counting or anything ;)... do you accept the challenge?

(or will you be off in India or some other such place like ms pegs??)


BEVIS said...

I wanted to say how sad I was to read your 'whisper' section at the top of your blog ... and then I got really angry when I saw the first comment that was oh-so-tastefully left here for you!


And here I've been talking about new life on my own blog for the past couple of days - I'm sorry if it seemed disrespectful or heartless! Not the intention I assure you. I hope you're doing OK.

Anyway, I also agree with your long and interesting posts being great reads. You get more comments than I do, so no more complaining from you! You're just (understandably) blue.

(Just like Gonzo, except with a smaller nose. ... Of course, I'm only guessing, here.)

Ahem. So, please don't give up on your blog. We love it and need it and we all love to read it (there's a little poem for you).


Oh, and as for hair - that newborn on my blog has quite a lot for a baby who's just a few hours old, wouldn't you say? Freaky.

MelbourneGirl said...

dxxx. no i will not be anywhere more exotic than melb uni library or at home in 26 sleeps. oh my god. do i meet my first blogger???

don't know if i can resist a hair-off. at least it would give us something to talk about for at least an hour.

bevis. i wasn't wanting to make anyone feel bad. you DO comment, you are one of my faithfuls. it was just an attack of the doubts and yes also feeling blue. and yes, like gonzo a bit. no, i don't have a beak like him. not that it matters!

and new life. that is what it is ALL about. birth and death and love in between. it was not insensitive or anything for you to be talking about new life. it made me smile to see all the sailor-hat kids, then the real one with the rug o'hair. princess was like that when she was born. simply gorgeous.

i am not a depressive type in my real world. i guess here it's easier to be more candid. which is good.

so, thank you all again.

[goes off to bathroom to measure width in mms of hair follicle. googles to see if there is any guinness book of records measurement, to see if she is in ballpark for challenge with dxxx. worries about how to spell 'guinness' one 'n' or 2. cotton?]

Chai said...

Wife? I thought all male hairdressers were gay? I know mine is. BTW, condolences.

MelbourneGirl said...

[still trying to measure, it's really hard, the light isn't strong enough.

realises has mis-spelled dxxxx. used 3 x's instead of 4. has done this before. has told self not to do again. hopes dxxxx doesn't mind and will not withraw from hair-off.]

oh and hi janet, sublime-ation and ccang. and still, fuck you anonymous

MelbourneGirl said...

ccang, thank you. my hairdresser is not gay. and he is male. i know, i know it's amazing.

Clokeeeey! said...

My last hd was male, married, had his 3 daughters working at the salon and his wife also cuts hair.

I have been refused service by an old school barber due to the thickness of my hair. Not willing to hair off as I know my dad's hair is thicker.

I have a Clokeeey Web site. It pretty much covers Clokeeey related stuff.

[always wanted to do that]

MelbourneGirl said...

but where's your link clokes?

i have a hair site, it pretty much covers hair-related stuff.

Dxxxx said...

HA HA ♥ you guys

MG the Sunday 6 Nov is the best day for me for the hair-off / bloggerati meet. Maybe we could corner the elusive Cotton as well..


MelbourneGirl said...

i think that day is ok dxxxx. will check diary which is in other room and get back to you.

have a good day

sublime-ation said...

Hi back MG. Btw, me and my best friend used to have hair frizz-offs when we were kids cause we both had thick hair: you brush your hair upside down then flip your head up: biggest hair wins.
Hers was always bigger than mine...p'haps you guys could test like that?

BEVIS said...

I am so turning up to the library at Melbourne Uni on 6th November to check this out! ...

(Assuming that's where you'll meet.)

MelbourneGirl said...

sublime, hey i used to do that too. perhaps that could be one of the measures? after a few drinks i think.

bevis, i don't think it'll be in the library. that might be too embarrassing. i think it needs to be somewhere where alcohol is served. it will be nerve wracking -meeting another blogger, or several, as well as having a Hair Off.

any other suggestions for hair-thickness measures? how about the thickness of a pony tail? or a tally of hairs that get stuck on the wall of the shower after a wash and condition (i always seem to have enough for a wig just there) or we could have a judge (bevis?) try to run his fingers through from scalp to tips and measure where his hands get stuck. then whoever's hair he gets his fingers through further, then that person LOSES points.

are you following me?

apols. to mrs bevis. just tell her our hair is thick and coarse and she won't be jealous. it's not as if it's soft and shiny and pantene-lovely (i'm speaking for myself here dxxx.)

MelbourneGirl said...

again with the dxxx


LadyCracker said...

I love you MG, you are my blogger to turn to when I do not know what to do about new mothering. Please stay with us.
and sorry about your loss. Ouch.

xx LC

Dxxxx said...

I'm in a bit of a quandry as I'm due for a hair cut round about now and I always get her to THIN THE HELL OUT OF IT every time ( so there's enough hair on the floor to make many a wig)... but if i do that this/next week.... it could severely hurt my chances in the hair-off...
On the other hand if I don't, i risk having bouffant hair for my trip down south and I really don't fancy that either....

Yes I think somewhere other than the library is a good choice. Maybe some musical accompaniment would be nice. You're the local. I'll let you make the call.


sp. The x's are for the remainder of my name (Donna) if that helps you remember how many to put??

sp2. I intentionally named my post-script above "sp" not "ps" (it's a in-joke) so i am not a dumb-ass ! (Often)

BEVIS said...

Oh no! Dxxxx just went and told us what her real name is! Now we all know what hides behind the Xs!

(Or did she??)

Either way, I don't know that I should be judging such an event. I'm honoured to be put forward as the questioned name in brackets, but I have no fingers. I lost them in a freak finger-losing accident when I was a teen, and even today I type by thumping the stumps of my wrists against the keyboard over and over again until the specific words I'm trying to type end up on the screen.

It's a very prolonged process, and you have no idea how frustrating it is sometimes!

sublime-ation said...

Wow, I'm curious too, Bevy.
For measuring thickness, I think some sort of hand test is in order, the frizz test is too much based on, well, FRIZZINESS, and you cannot tell a head of hair's thickness just by looking at it.
You may need an impartial, unbiased judge.
Dxxxxx, whose secret identity we now maybe know, has a real dilemma on her hands here. Hairdressers seem to want to eliminate all thickness these days, with the influence of contemporary layered styles.
To look sleek or lose a hair-off?

sp. at least we all know how many xx's in an Dxxxx.

sublime-ation said...

ps who the fuck knew you get so many comments on a post called 'My Hair'? You see, we NEED your postings, MG.

MelbourneGirl said...

oh my god.

what to do.

firstly, dxxxx. it is a dilemma. you don't want to lose to me. i can understand this. you also want to be cool and slick when you come down south. this too i understand. you are talking to a woman who is sitting here with iron flat hair, but whose scalp is starting to itch, scream for a clean, but which is being ignored because i am liking having (as bette said in 'beaches') "hair that moves".

it's alright if you want to forfeit. you could bring a photo or a testimonial from a friend or family member.

bevis. i am shocked. i had no idea you were carrying such a disability. or is it that wifey thinks that stroking even pot-scourer hair (again dxxxx, this is me i am speaking for) in a most subjective and impartial and judge-like (without pump) manner is still too much temptation, and so you are lying about having no fingers...

about the venue, for hair-off or even just a drink and a laugh about the hair-off followed by compliments to all present about their coiffs, i am so out of the music scene it is not funny. you do realise i have a nine-year-old child and my groovy days are long gone???

did i say groovy.

i meant phat. or sick. or bad.

and thanks lovely lc. and sublime too. yes, it's always the superficial posts that get the interest. nevermind.

Dxxxx said...

I've heard "hot" is again the new "cool". or something.

Look once you've got 3 decades under your belt, honestly, you're done caring about what's hot & what's not, right? To a point.

And while I may remain footloose & child free, many of my friends are breeders. Kids are great, So i am cool with that. You can be a mum & still be cool. Or phat. Or yeah whatever.



BEVIS said...

A little of Column A, a little of Column B.

Hey, I'm starting to really worry about Cotton. What's going on over there in Cottonwood? I'd say this creepy guy has got him running paranoid. He's removed comments and refuses to tell us why.

I'm enjoying the story, though. Is that wrong?

sublime-ation said...

Hey MG I promise to comment when you next need to vent, splurge, let off steam, WHATEV...I think maybe people do just kind of tacitly doesn't matter, you write what you want.
That's what your blogs for, and it's rockin, phat, sick, hot, cool and groovy, mama.
Alors, hows hair-off shaping?

MelbourneGirl said...

sublime, i love it when people call me mama.

bevis. yes cotton has left a comment above so he is still ok. i think clokey may have pissed cotts off, he said he put a comment which got deleted then the commenting got pulled. i too worry about cotton-socks. especially when he posts as if he is possessed by the devil and i cannae understand what he writes...

dxxxx, thanks for understanding. have you decided what to do about your hair?

Dxxxx said...

No but i think i am going to have to get it trimmed/thinned before I come down. I'd rather lose graciously in a hair-off than come down there looking like poochie.....

We will still be able to compare how thick our hairs are, but if one measurement is thickness of a ponytail, then that one I will probably lose after thinning.

Or will I ???


BEVIS said...

Nice of me to be concerned for him, though.

I'm pretty great like that.

Yay me.

MelbourneGirl said...

ok dxxxx. it will be fun. and yes, bevis. yay you for being so nice.

BEVIS said...


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