Friday, February 10, 2006

hair angst

i realise it's a while since i complained about my hair. it's been behaving sort of, kind of, alright recently.

until today i went to the hairdresser to fix up the colour, get it thinned out and a blowdry for going out tomorrow night.

did i mention it was a new hairdresser? new place. new colourist. new cutter.

you also need to know my hair has been called horse hair by more than one of these professionals. it's something i live with each and every fucking day, it shits me when they tell me this, but i just smile good naturedly and nod in agreement. when they say it's so thick, i just smile and go "a-ha!" and when they say "oh my god you have SO MUCH HAIR!" then i stab them in the eyes with the metal end of the comb. you know that really dangerous pointy end.

let me just say, when i was young this is the sort of hair i wanted:










and then when i was a bit older it was this:










and then this:










unfortunately, on a bad day, this is what we've got to work with:











that's a joke. you can laugh now.

so, she's doing the cut. that went ok.

then the colour. let me just say it was basically two tone, you know, one of those skanky deals that have even got a name, i read in the paper last week, "top deck". please don't judge me. when i got it done it seemed no one had one, it was cutting edge and unique.

now they are everywhere, and i decided it was time to go... top deck.

so she had to lighten the dark at the back and underneath, and do the roots. then it all went wrong, about 3.25 hours into the session. the colour wasn't right, in fact it was bad. it looked better when i had walked in. so she had to quickly put on some other gunk which burned my scalp to fix the colour. which it did. pretty much.

i am tired of having these marathon sessions at the hairdresser, which cost me a fucking fortune, and always, always seem to go wrong.

why do i do it?

anyway. it's not over yet. i have to go back now for the blowdry, which there wasn't time for before.

at least it will be sleek and smooth and non-phyllis for a week or so. as long as i can leave it and keep out of melbourne's rain. until my scalp is SCREAMING for a wash.

does anyone else take more than three hours at the hairdresser? boys, you can answer too.

18 comments:

Clokeeeey! said...

No, I used to drive more than 45 minutes to and 45 minute back from my hairdresser coz she was good at cutting my hair. The cut itself only took 25 minutes at most.

Chai said...

Horse hair, eh? Big hair is coming back, or was it ever out? Anyway, Adam takes about 25-30 mins on me... I reckon he could do it in 10 as it is really straight forward but then he couldnt justify charging me the amount that he does. But he's just 5 mins walk from where I live. And he gives good scalp massage. First time I went there..., ummm, never mind.
And thanks for the nail polish colour advice plus the pancake advice. I will put it in the fridge first. Self raising or plain?

fluffy said...

Not being one to colour (nowhere to go but lighter and really, fuck the 3 hour bleaching sessions with a pointy stick) I'm tetchy if hairdresser appointments take more than an hour. And if I'm paying more than $70 I'd better have had sex with someone.

sheriff of nothing said...

I used to take more than 3 hours until I started going to the my current hairdresser. They seem to be pretty quick (2 hours most of the time)mand MOST of the time pretty good too.

sublime-ation said...

You know my answer. Dxxxx and I will be both going 'hm, this sounds familiar'. I hate the hairdressers as they take about 4 hours and last time she burnt my scalp so fucking badly I nearly attacked her with a uber-cool Chloe Sevigny type magazine (I now choose my haridressers for their magazines, as they pretty much all do what they want anyway, which is give me a mullet).
So my best friend cut my hair, who normally is good and does what I want (unlike hairdressers), but this time she was I think one spliff over the line cause she FUCKED MY HAIR. She gave me a friggin DOWNY FRINGE. It's been headbands and clips for the past two months, til it grows out enough for me to take it back to the professional House of Pain.
I am not myself.

Riss said...

I try to take as little time as possible at the hairdresser.

I do get the "your hair is so thick - just look at it all" and "look at all those curls - people kill for hair like that" comments and then they proceed to try to comb my hair directly from scalp to ends which, as anyone who has ever tried to comb curly hair would know, is completely the wrong way to do it. Curly hair = knots. Therefore, start at the ends and comb the tangles out and you do less damage.

They never put enough product in my hair and it tends to dry quicker in some areas than others so if they then go and diffuser-dry it tends to go frizzy even though putting in the product and drying with diffuser is supposed to prevent this. *sigh*

I usually just tie it up or put a hat on, go straight home, wet it all again, put my own product in and then dry it properly and I look like me again.

michellesarah said...

There is a hairdressing salon place in my town who is NOTORIOUS for taking forever to get through an appointment. I know people who've been stuck there for 4.5 hrs. It's greed, greed I tells ya! They overextend themselves and then ply you with coffee and extravagant hand gestures to try and placate you into not being so mad even your veejay sweats.

Anyhoo. My current hairdresser is much better, usually 2 hrs for the works, but lately I've just been getting a trim and that's about 1/2 an hr. I was a little disgruntled when I left the other day, I asked for her to 'chop the dead ends off please, but make sure it still goes in a pony tail etc', and came out with the closest thing to a bob I've had since high school. Still, looks quite nice, and does fill the criteria I specified. Perhaps more specific next time? It was longer than my shoulder blades before! Those must've been some killer split ends.

Magical_M said...

I go to the hairdresser about twice a year. It takes me that long to work up the courage (and save up the ridiculous amount they charge).

Funnily enough, my favourite TV show at the moment is "Cutting It" (ABC, Thursday nights).

The last time I had a colour they had to "bleach bath" it. I still don't want to know what that process was... I think I hyper-ventilated my way through it.

Pomgirl said...

I think I have the same kind of hair as riss - lots of curly hair. I always notice a pained look on the faces of hairdressers when I go to them. I've not been to have my hair cut since I moved to Australia, despite getting a gift certificate for a hairdressers for Christmas. I can't seem to pluck up the courage and go, knowing I will have to stare at myself in a mirror for three hours and then come home and faff around with it myself for another couple of hours...

elaine said...

I have a solution.

Kon (the 'K' is ok, he has Greek heritage) at Slinky Hair; 9415 6699.

He is THE master. The only person I have ever felt good about plonking down and saying 'Oh, do whatever you want'

(incidentally 1: cut and colour 2.5 hours tops.

incidentally 2: my hair is quite fine but there is a lot of it.)

Dxxxx said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dxxxx said...

I hear you girlfriend, you know it.

I fear I am stuck here in a small town forever unless my hairdresser Raquel decides to move elsewhere, in which case I will have to follow (obviously). I certainly won't let anyone else near my hair.
As with many things, I am in blatant denial and continue to book hairdressing appointments in my (one hour) lunch break, only to get back about oh, and hour and half late each time.

And I trust you acknowledge that on the day we met for lunch, my hair had the potential to be extremely thick & out of control, although it was not at all that day. You know I had a date with a straightener that day. (If that isn't a loaded sentence!!! haha)
But yes. hair. it's fun.
enjoy the slickness while you can.

Dxxxx

MelbourneGirl said...

thanks everyone for your words. and elaine for a phone number. i will try there next time. for real. is he in richmond?

and fluffy, i'm not sure how vicky would have reacted to a demand/request/suggestion for sex... judging by the rate you mentioned i should have gotten two full ones for what i paid.

Susanne said...

Thick hair here. Represent!

elaine said...

he's on gertrude street (I know, insufferably hip but in my defense I have followed him through about 4 places and now he has his own)

MelbourneGirl said...

and dxxx. of course i acknowledge on the lunch date day that you were "not yourself" and i will demand another lunch date when next you are in melb, but you have to have your normal hair on, girl! xx
and yes, despite my complaints i would rather have my hair, phyllis or not, than it be really thin and lank. not that there's anything wrong with that!

MelbourneGirl said...

chai. re the flour will get back to you with complete recipe. it's so easy, but i can't remember it right now.

Riss said...

pomgirl, I agree, we all need a little less faffing in this world.

The last time I was there I did actually ask them to dry my hair the way I do, upside down, which seemed to work a little better.

Maybe we just have to take the initiative. Even though they are hairdressers we can't expect them to know how we like ourselves to look unless we tell them or show them.