Wednesday, February 28, 2007

claypots schmaypots

that's right. we went to claypots last week. this establishment has had people raving over it. people in the newspapers, people on the street. people who are friends.

i've been wanting to go because everyone said it was sooooooo good.

well, to my mind, it wasn't.

i'm sorry but there it is. we sat there and indulged them their quirky ordering system. the waiter was nice, and he indulged us our dull-witedness when it came to trying to order for three kids and two adults.

so we finally settled on a claypot which had pipis and fish in it [i describe it like a pudding, the dude said]. we ordered a meze arrangement of about 8 small dishes. and a whole flathead for the table. and three kids meals which were the only good things to appear. as well as the wine. which we had to go and get ourselves from the tavern.


look, i know it's not nice to bag a restaurant. they work very hard and all that. which is why i'm doing this here and not here, the restaurant review group i belong to. because the original point of that site, we do chew our food, was to post about great places to eat, and share those recommendations with others.

let me detail the ways in which claypots was for me a pretty ordinary experience:

1. every bite of fish seemed to have bone in it. and i'm not just talking about the sardines; that i expect. but the stingray, check. the whole flathead, check.

2. can i just say, cajun spices and seafood DO NOT GO TOGETHER. this is my fault for going to a restaurant where these flavours are the specialty

put it this way; seafood = delicate, light. cayenne pepper, paprika, all types of peppers, etc = mouth burny, overwhelming and yuck.

i am not one of those people who are fussy about their food. i love strongly-flavoured, tasty, spicy, hot food but not with fish or crustaceans.

was this my fault? should i have known claypots is cajun? is it all cajun or just what we ordered? am i being unfair?

but mouthsful of bones, followed by large sections of unbearable, AWFUL spices, had me almost gagging.

on a lighter note i was happy to see the spunky dame win the oscar for best actress, also i bought some brown cords today. saw a girl on a bike wearing some yesterday, thought to myself i need some brown cords, and then there they were today, just waiting patiently for me to take them, try them on, and buy them


ps. any lawyers out there, tell me if this claypots thing is defamatory. i'll bin it. INC?


I'm not Craig said...


I haven't been involved in a defamation case for around five years (and back then it was always residents of the local caravan park who had nothing better to do than threaten to sue each other OH THE CAREER SATISFACTION) but it seems to me that your review comes down to
1. I don't like bones in fish
2. Ixnay on the cajun

It all sounds like opinion and fair comment to me, unless you publish it in Louisiana* in which case they will chase you out of town whilst waving large sticks (of cornbread) at you.

For comparison's sake, Rolling Stone once published a review that started with the sentence "Mike Oldfield is a pretentious dumbass and his records are full of shit" and went downhill from there, so in the scheme of things I'd say your review was pretty balanced.

*Yes, technically you already did

meva said...

Possibly the worst meal I've ever had was at a pub in Port Melbourne and the (frozen) vegetables (!) were still frozen.

And I agree with you about overwhelmingly hot spice with delicate fish. Why bother?

Clokeeeey! said...

You know what, this is a classic "He said, She said" moment.
I thought it was quite OK. I didn't mind the walk to the Tavern to get the wine, The ordering was a little convaluted but I was OK with it. I chose the cajun flathead coz I like Cajun and I like flathead. I didn't get any bones and I thought the spice was mild(ish).
What I disliked was the seating arrangements, the boths had old red rattler train seats, very uncomfortable and coz you sink into them, you end up too low for the table, elbows up around the ears, not the best eating position.
I'm willing to give it another go.

Clokeeeey! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sublime-ation said...

I think you're right, Clokes. FBF adores Claypots. I'm not a big seafood fan, and didn't like their actual claypots, but their prawns were good and the fresh fish we choose was good. I'm not overly keen to go back though.
I've found a great Moroccan place that does good mussels, their food is a million times better than the Claypots 'Moroccan' claypot.
It's not defamation if it's stated as being your opinion, not fact. That's what got that Sydney reviewer into trouble.

Funny how Claypots is so popular though isn't it?

MelbourneGirl said...

thank you all for your comments. clokes i believe you then didn't get a concentrated clump of spice with your flathead.

i don't want people to think that you are the mongrel when it comes to highly-spiced food and i am the wimp. i can handle the heat when it's done well.

and i forgot about the seats, they were dreadful.

i don't want to go back there, unless you're angling for a revisit next tuesday, on somebody's birthday?

how could i after being so scathing? i'd rather source and cook my own seafood. and i'll take you somewhere else on tuesday.

and sub, apparently it's not defamation if it's your opinion and it's true. as inc pointed out, there are bones in fish (true) and there were cajun spices (true) and i didn't like the combination (opinion). that's all i remember from studying it briefly and superficially at a writers' course.

MelbourneGirl said...

ps meva if you come back there's something porny going on with your blog, seems like it's been hacked, so i've deleted my link to you just for a minute while you get it sorted. hope all is ok.


Clokeeeey! said...

Actually, those big platters looked magnificent.....

Chai said...

Sorry to hear of bad experience. There's nothing worse than being hungry and having to sit through that.

And I reckon you should put it on WDCOF anyway.

meva said...

Hi MG,

I deleted my old blog last December in a fit of pique and it got taken over within a day by the pron. I've been here for a couple of months now. Sorry! I thought I'd let everyone know.

MelbourneGirl said...

ok, meva you are back on blogroll with a link that won't cover a person's screen with huge pulsating male members and wide open shiny female bits.

not that there's anything wrong with that, but you seem so nice and it kind of looked like i was being mean having a link to such nonsense.

and guess what we have for dinner tonight. loads of fresh oysters (3 doz, a friend is coming over), scallops sans roe and prawns to bbq quickly in oil, parsley, red seeded chilli so it's just gently warm and not a mouth-burner and garlic, also a whole snapper to bbq. mmmmm.

ps clokes you can go back if you want. i'm not going to suffer those seats again. and i thought the platters just looked obscene, rather than attractive. world hunger, and all that.

gigglewick said...


Don't worry, I did that with Meva's blog too for a bit. AND got chastised by Audrey for it also.

Goddamit, I'm actually GLAD to hear Claypots isn't worth it - we've been bypassing it in favour of the far more pretentiously waitered Blue Corn, which is put-up-with-able on the basis that their food is so outstandingly awesome.


Steph said...

Fish in pots with hot spices? Nah, I'll stick to my fish fingers.

HEATHEN! yes i am.

Rowena said...

So you HAVE been blogging. Stupid Bloglines is not showing the updates for your blog.

For what it's worth, I kinda like Claypots. But I think that may have something to do with what was going on in my life around the one time I have been there.

de.foxus said...

i really enjoyed claypots the one time i've been there (st kilda one, about a month and a half ago?).

That said, i am an absolute sucker for crab, and the platters we got were piled high with them and i was the only of our dining companions willing to go through the mess and painstakingly slow removal of crab from shell, so i got LOTS.

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