Saturday, December 10, 2005

commonwealth games volunteer pledge*

* gee i can't wait to get out of town for the commonwealth games

my dad has volunteered for the games. or should that be The Games. or even, THE GAMES!!

today we were talking and i mentioned the pledge. how he will have to stand at telstra dome with 15,000 other nutters (i didn't actually say that bit aloud) and pledge their troth or some such crap. when i asked him if they would feed him, he said "well they have to, we're not allowed to take bags in with us. it's like they don't trust us. it'd better not be too over the top or i'll give it a miss"

(this is a man who has on occasion told off police officers for setting up their breathalyser stop-points in the "wrong" spot on a road thereby causing my dad to miss turn-offs. more than once.)

i said, "be careful dad. don't get too overt about it or you might get rendered"

he thought that was really funny. he's old school and likes bulldog drummond-type books so the idea of being cia'd away to egypt for some torture and demeaning treatment sounds a bit exotic to him.

anyway, this is what he will have to wear:

and this is what he will have to pledge.

let's have a run through, shall we?

We stand united

As proud members of one team

And ambassadors to the


our sport

(but not yours)

and culture

(ours that is)

And the values of Humanity,


and Destiny

Eager to support each other

To do our best

And play our part

We are creators of great

Recognised by our smiles

And remembered for our

Respectful of differences
And full of pride

We make the difficult possible

For the joy of achievement

And the honour of taking part
This is our moment to shine

We are TEAM2006!

Let's make this the best

Games ever!

(excuse me while i vomit)


BEVIS said...

"For your convenience, throughout the Games, barf bags will be available at all major exits to the stadium. This means they are located here, here, and here."

Wow! You really put a lot of effort into that post! Well done, it's quite amusing and yet deadly serious in places.

The perfect balance. :)

Another Outspoken Female said...

..and any volunteers caught not smiling or acting warmly will be used for target practice over at the rifle range.