Saturday, December 10, 2005

commonwealth games volunteer pledge*

* gee i can't wait to get out of town for the commonwealth games

my dad has volunteered for the games. or should that be The Games. or even, THE GAMES!!

today we were talking and i mentioned the pledge. how he will have to stand at telstra dome with 15,000 other nutters (i didn't actually say that bit aloud) and pledge their troth or some such crap. when i asked him if they would feed him, he said "well they have to, we're not allowed to take bags in with us. it's like they don't trust us. it'd better not be too over the top or i'll give it a miss"

(this is a man who has on occasion told off police officers for setting up their breathalyser stop-points in the "wrong" spot on a road thereby causing my dad to miss turn-offs. more than once.)

i said, "be careful dad. don't get too overt about it or you might get rendered"

he thought that was really funny. he's old school and likes bulldog drummond-type books so the idea of being cia'd away to egypt for some torture and demeaning treatment sounds a bit exotic to him.

anyway, this is what he will have to wear:













and this is what he will have to pledge.

let's have a run through, shall we?










We stand united










As proud members of one team

And ambassadors to the

Commonwealth,








our sport










(but not yours)

and culture

(ours that is)











And the values of Humanity,














Equality











and Destiny



















Eager to support each other









To do our best










And play our part













We are creators of great
memories









Recognised by our smiles











And remembered for our
warmth













Respectful of differences
And full of pride










We make the difficult possible














For the joy of achievement












And the honour of taking part
This is our moment to shine










We are TEAM2006!











Let's make this the best











Games ever!











(excuse me while i vomit)

2 comments:

BEVIS said...

"For your convenience, throughout the Games, barf bags will be available at all major exits to the stadium. This means they are located here, here, and here."

Wow! You really put a lot of effort into that post! Well done, it's quite amusing and yet deadly serious in places.

The perfect balance. :)

Another Outspoken Female said...

..and any volunteers caught not smiling or acting warmly will be used for target practice over at the rifle range.