this morning i had a bad dream. in it, we were at a house, a great house where the garden kind of went down to meet the sea. which then became a river bed and a great rush of floodwater surged along it suddenly while i was in the garden, and the kids, including princess, was down at the river.
i wasn't that concerned until she didn't come back.
then i went to try to find her. i had been confident she would be fine, would know to get out of the way of the water, not to play near floodwaters etc.
i couldn't find her. then i was on a bus, travelling the way the water would have taken her.
then i was in turkey, speaking to turkish police, trying to make them understand that she had disappeared. i was explaining she was half turkish, with an australian passport. they didn't seem to care, so then when i said she had a turkish passport as well, they became more interested.
but i didn't find her, the dream seemed to take ages, until at the end, after going through markets asking people if they had seen her, i watched as a woman in bathers was diving into a really deep pond by the road, that had been created by this "flood" that i realised i wasn't going to find her.
so i woke up, glad it was just a dream. isn't that a delicious feeling?
alot of my dreams are these type of quest dreams.
anyway, so this made me want to contact her. i texted, nothing back. i called, and ali answered. he was in the car, having picked up the rugs, and said lisa and princess were at the beach. he offered to give me lisa's mobile number, but i said i didn't need it. he said he would get princess to text me later and then i could call her.
i wished him good luck for his carpet show.
see, how nice i am?
then i went into uni and had a meeting with an academic who has said he wants me on board a research project he has funding for. what he wants to explore is of great interest to me (national identity generally speaking, very topical) so that was pretty good.
then i tossed down a spag marinara and tumbler of house white for lunch with my sis, her hubby and my nephew and niece. no the 3 and 5 year olds did NOT have a tumbler of white. but they gave me lots of cuddles cause i told them i was missing my girl so much and needed hugs. they were beautiful.
so then i went to mum's and called princess from there.
we had a good chat, she even laughed at a couple of vignettes i told her, mostly one about a huge huntsman spider that sat on the top of our car all the way out to the airport when we went to drop her off. and then what happened with 'pidey after that. she was laughing really hard, which was great to hear.
she was sounding happy and relaxed, so she is over the hump, which is great.
so that's it.
oh, except they are here:
which is san diego, googleimage tells me.
off to dinner at southbank tonight, followed by the producers at crown casino. gold class.
if you don't mind.
so
day 15
12 days to go
6 comments:
I always have those kind of dreams to. Anxiety dreams, I think is the techinical term.
Two in the last two sleeps: one, bf and I were in Tunisia and we were packing suitcases for aaages and we missed our plane.
One last night in this weird old Oxford like place, with steep slopes I couldn't climb and kept slipping back down, and water coming in, and girls telling me I had somehow insulted them...
Funny you had water to, in my dream it was raining and the roof was leaking, then it was coming up in waves all around us.
Good to hear all is cool. She'll be back before you know it and you'll be saying things like "Can you just leave me alone for 5 minutes? Just 5 minutes! Is that too much to ask for?".
My dreams, if I can remember them at all, involves me cycling after someone (not important who it is). I can never pick up speed no matter how hard I try. I drink from my water bottle and then need to pee. I then stop at the public urinals which is conveniently close and, ummm, it gets a bit gross after this. I wake up soon after, some sooner than others.
BTW, I left a comment in your previous blog asking for your email.
When I dream, it's all about giant puppets chasing me, but my hands and feet are tied to long strings stretching way up into darkness, and the strings prevent me from running anywhere, and then I am eaten by a Swedish chef and I wake up in a swamp playing a banjo and ...
Does this sound like I'm making fun of you? I don't mean to, but I'm sorry if you feel like I'm taking the piss.
Did perhaps the recent news of the bus crash in Egypt play a part in your subconscience creating this dream? Methinks so. You even featured a bus in your dream.
Whether you're aware of it or not, I think I'm very clever because that's what it is. The recent stuff all over the news about the loss of life to Australian families overseas happening while you're separated from Princess (and let's face it; it hasn't been the smoothest time for you all up). So I'm saying nothing negative about you for this - in fact I rather think it's adorable.
And hopefully the nasty dreams won't return now that I've said this.
Yes, I'm that certain I'm (at least partly) right!
Also: Congratulations on the research project coup! Well done indeed for that one. I hope your sis and her family toasted your invitation by the university dude.
... But what did happen to 'pidey on the way home from the airport?? You can't leave us hanging like that!
I hope you really really really got a chuckle out of The Producers. (But feel free to say so if you didn't.)
oh bevie, you were the one asking about the 'pidey. well when we got back to the car after watching princess' plane take off, i was teary but i was also tremendously distracted by the thoughts of the spider still being there.
it was huge, we had seen it run across the windscreen as we were on kings way, and then it lodged itself in a spot above my sun visor. you could see its knifelike little legs.
[shiver]
we had huddled like me as a mother hen with three chicks when we first got out of the car at the airport as john flicked and swatted the thing all over the car. it was such a fast mother, and i was just squealing with fear. a good ten metres away. and he couldn't get rid of it. so we went in, and then later when we came out i refused to get in the car until he had located and removed it. note i didn't want it killed, because i don't believe in that. a rattle snake that is threatening me and my baby, yes. a huntsman, no.
so he found it while the kids were sitting in the back seat, and told one of them to "keep still." this was exactly what he had told me when we arrived, as i refused to get out of the car, ie open the door unless spider was located and removed. all door frames were fine, then mine, on the passenger side held the beast, as he squatted in the frame. "keep still" i was told. i screamed and scrabbled over gear shift and brake to driver's side, and then out into the car park, and the kids followed me and we all screamed. as i have already said.
this is all out of order.
so anyway, he told one of them to keep still. "get out on this side" i screamed and they clambered out and again i was the mother hen, but with only two chicks now, and we all clutched each other and screamed. it was fun, but i really am scared of huntsmans.
meanwhile, it was hunched in the door frame, john was trying to flick it, it was too fast, it ran around and around under the ceiling, over the roof, around door frames and under... the bonnet.
and there was still no way i was getting in that car, in my already grieving state of loss, to have some spider propel itself out of the air vent onto my lap.
so up went the car bonnet, more flicking and flapping until finally he went, flying on the stiff wind that was coming over the edge of the carpark walls, sailing across two empty bays, onto...
someone else's parked car.
[that was the part that really cracked up princess]
then we jumped in our car, and drove off, screaming some more just for fun, and laughing.
it's a good spider story. better than some, i guess.
oh and about the dreams, i agree, they are just anxiety dreams, i am on-edge and certainly not myself.
but coping.
I hope you haven't sold the movie rights to that amazing story!
(Not sarcasm ... although not a serious suggestion either. It's a great story, and well told. That's all I mean.)
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